My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms

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Taishang Laojun: Your healing medicine has been sent to you.

Lin Hai looked at the notification message on WeChat, and the muscles on his face twitched.

"Tai Shang Laojun sent you a dirty mud ball."

Mud balls: The mud balls that Taishang Laojun picks up randomly from the ground are mixed with saliva. They are quite disgusting.

"That's so damn disgusting, this old bastard!" Lin Hai was so angry that he almost smashed his phone.

Damn it, my brother wants healing elixirs, so you mix them up with mud balls and send them to me. Are you kidding me!

Lin Hai resisted the urge to get angry and sent a message to question Taishang Laojun.

Little Confused Fairy: Is this what you call a healing elixir? (followed by an angry expression)

Taishang Laojun: Yes, it is an absolute holy medicine for healing. I don’t give it to ordinary people.

puff!

Holy medicine is a piece of shit. Ordinary people won’t give it to anyone. If you give it to so and so, they won’t scold you!

Little Muddleheaded Fairy: If you don’t want to give it, just say so, don’t tease your brother with a spit ball of mud!

Lin Hai got really angry this time and started swearing directly on WeChat.

However, Taishang Laojun was not anxious at all. Instead, he made a smiley expression covering his mouth.

Taishang Laojun: The saliva is already good. Thousands of years ago, Sun Wukong came to ask for elixir, but I just peed on the mud. (Followed by an expression of a person pounding the ground and laughing)

Lin Hai looked at the message with a dark look on his face.

Damn, if this were true, it would be too funny.

Little confused fairy: Don't brag, I'll ask the Great Sage.

Lin Hai always felt that this was Taishang Laojun who was misbehaving. If he really dared to urinate and mud to Sun Wukong, Sun Wukong would be so angry that he would kill him in Tushita Palace.

Lin Hai did what he thought of and actually sent it to Sun Wukong.

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, that old guy from Taishang Laojun is bragging to me, saying that I gave you a mud ball that he peeed on, but I don’t believe it, haha.

When Sun Wukong saw Lin Hai's message, he replied almost instantly.

Sun Wukong: Ah! Ah ah ah ah ah! ! ! ! !

Lin Hai felt happy when he saw Sun Wukong's reaction. It seemed that the monkey was very angry.

Sun Wukong: This damn old man is making me so angry! ! !

Little confused fairy: Monkey King, don't be angry, don't be angry, he just brags, we don't have the same knowledge as him.

Lin Hai said in the message, but he was thinking in his heart, hurry up, hurry up, beat this old guy up, let him be so hateful, and give cement pills to his brother.

Sun Wukong: Annoying, annoying! This damn old man actually told me such an embarrassing thing about my old grandson. Damn it, it's really hateful!

"Uh..." Lin Hai's eyes suddenly widened and he was confused.

Little Confused Immortal: Well, Great Sage, do you mean that what Taishang Laojun said is true?

Sun Wukong: Brother, don’t tell this matter, ah, don’t tell it! Otherwise, my grandson’s face will be completely lost, completely lost!

"I'm going to tell you the situation!" Lin Hai was dumbfounded now. Sun Wukong's words were tantamount to admitting that what Taishang Laojun said was actually true!

Little confused fairy: Monkey King, why do you want to eat it? Thinking about it makes me sick to death.

After Lin Hai sent the message, he actually retched.

Sun Wukong: Disgusting, very disgusting!

Lin Hai felt even more strange when he saw Sun Wukong saying the same thing.

Could it be that Taishang Laojun forced Sun Wukong to eat it?

Sun Wukong: However, it is an absolutely good thing. The temptation is too great, and I, Sun Wukong, cannot resist it.

"What? How did this become a good thing?" Lin Hai was even more confused.

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, why do you say this? What’s the benefit?

Sun Wukong: As long as it is something from Taishang Laojun, it is a good thing, a good thing!

Depend on! Lin Hai felt depressed for a while, what's so good about that? You can tell me?

Little Confused Fairy: What do you mean by the Great Sage? According to what you said, is it possible that the Supreme Laojun is also a good thing?

Lin Hai was angry and asked at first, "Could it be that you can't eat it even if the Supreme Lord poops?"

But after thinking about it, he deleted it anyway. He estimated that once he said this, Sun Wukong would have to kill him with a stick.

Sun Wukong: Shit is also a good thing. As long as it comes from Taishang Laojun, it is a good thing!

"Nah, isn't it?" Lin Hai burst into laughter. Is Sun Wukong crazy?

Little confused fairy: Monkey King, stop teasing me.

Sun Wukong: Why am I kidding you? Do you know how Erlang Shen’s barking dog became a god?

Little confused fairy: How did it happen?

Although he has read some myths about Erlang Shen, he has never paid attention to the experience of Roaring Sky Dog becoming a god.

Sun Wukong: Hehe, the Roaring Sky Dog was originally a dog in the mortal world. When the Supreme Lord came down to earth, he pooped a piece of shit and was accidentally eaten by the Roaring Sky Dog!

puff!

After Lin Hai read it, he almost squirted.

Nima, is it true or false? Isn't this too funny?

Sun Wukong: In this way, Roaring Sky Dog went from being a country dog ​​with no spiritual roots to becoming a god in just a few decades. Later, he went to heaven, met Erlang God, and worshiped him.

Nani?

"Isn't Erlang Shen the master of Roaring Sky Dog? How come he has become a brother-in-law?"

Lin Hai suddenly discovered that many of the myths and legends he had heard since childhood seemed unbelievable.

However, Lin Hai also heard from Sun Wukong's words that anything related to Taishang Laojun seemed to be against the heavens.

Little Muddleheaded Fairy: Great Sage, the Supreme Master gave me a mud pill, which was mixed with his saliva. Do you think I can eat it?

Although Lin Hai has basically confirmed that the mud ball that Taishang Laojun sent him is really not a mortal thing, he still thought to ask Sun Wukong for insurance.

Sun Wukong: Taishang Laojun gives you cement pills for your mouth! ! ! You can eat it, you can definitely eat it!

Sun Wukong: Brother, I wonder how many pills the Supreme Master will give you. Do you have any extra pills to give to me?

"Haha, it looks like it's really a good thing." Seeing that Sun Wukong couldn't wait to ask for it, Lin Hai was even more sure that the mud pill was a good thing.

Little confused fairy: I'm sorry, Great Sage, he just gave me one, saying it was a holy medicine for healing.

Sun Wukong: Oh, then you can eat it quickly, but I can’t eat it. It’s a pity, it’s a pity.

Little confused fairy: Haha, great sage, then the little fairy will eat it first.

Lin Hai no longer had any doubts. He opened the Qiankun bag on WeChat and found the dirty mud pill.

Extract?

extract!

Lin Hai directly extracted the mud pill and dropped it into the palm of his hand.

"Eat it now!" Lin Hai put the mud ball to his mouth and opened his mouth, but did not eat it.

"Nima, no, I can't eat it when I think it's made of saliva. It's really disgusting."

Lin Hai really couldn't overcome the obstacles in his heart. After thinking about it, he sent another message to Sun Wukong.

Little confused fairy: Great Sage, when the little fairy thinks that this mud pill is made of saliva, he can't eat it. What should I do?

Sun Wukong: What’s so difficult about this? I haven’t asked you to eat shit yet. Roaring Sky Dog even eats shit. What does it matter if you eat saliva?

puff!

After Lin Hai read the message, he was so angry that he wanted to pull Sun Wukong out of the phone and beat him.

Damn, is there such a comparison?

Roaring Sky Dog is a dog after all, and eating shit is a natural thing.

But my brother is a human being!

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, forget about the roaring dog, just tell me how you ate it in the first place?

Sun Wukong's urine was much more disgusting than his own saliva. Lin Hai was very curious as to how someone like Sun Wukong could eat it.

Sun Wukong: Hey, brother, you don’t understand now. Do you know what the gods in heaven rely on for their cultivation?

Little confused fairy: Isn’t it all because of Taishang Laojun’s shit?

An extremely absurd scene among immortals suddenly appeared in Lin Hai's mind, which made him so sick that he almost vomited on the spot.

Sun Wukong: How could they be so lucky?

Nani!

Lin Hai was stunned for a moment. Damn it, are you lucky enough to eat shit?

Sun Wukong: The gods rely on the spiritual energy of heaven and earth for their cultivation!

Lin Hai knew that when he practiced the Tao Te Ching, he was also absorbing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth.

Sun Wukong: Do you know Hongjun? He is the one who created the world.

Little confused fairy: Create the world? Isn't that Pangu?

Sun Wukong: Who is Pangu?

"Uh... Okay." Lin Hai discovered that the current Chinese people's understanding of mythology was once again biased.

Sun Wukong: After Hongjun created the world, the Hongmeng Immortal Qi in the chaos immediately disappeared and turned into the Three Pure Ones. It was one Qi that transformed into the Three Pure Ones. From then on, there was no Hongmeng Immortal Qi in the world.

Lin Hai looked at the phone screen and nodded silently.

He had also read the legend of turning three pure beings into one qi in a book, but he was not very impressed. However, he always felt that it was somewhat different from what Sun Wukong said.

But who is Sun Wukong? That was a living god, and what he said was naturally much more reliable than what was recorded in books.

Therefore, Lin Hai did not question it stupidly.

Sun Wukong: When the world first opened, strong spiritual energy gathered, but the spiritual energy was far inferior to Hongmeng's immortal energy. Even so, thousands of geniuses from all races practiced and became immortals, until the spiritual energy in the mortal world finally dried up.

Little Confused Fairy: Tell me this, what do you mean?

Although Lin Hai was very interested in hearing this, he suddenly realized that Sun Wukong was off topic.

I am a seriously injured person, waiting for treatment. Instead of telling my brother how to overcome psychological obstacles, what is the use of talking about it?

Sun Wukong: I, Old Sun, have talked so much, don’t you still understand?