Vaudevillain

The Piano Store stood as a bastion of music to anyone looking to learn. Situated next to the Mutatholis river, the modern building stood separate from those around it by use of a large parking lot, filled with cars of all types. Dr. Zlo stood at the edge of the lot, ushering his minions forward. A few NPCs stared at the group, now dressed in assorted marching band uniforms.

"Right, We'll need some brass, percussion, and woodwinds," Dr. Zlo informed. "I'm leaving it up to you to grab what's needed. You understand?"

The Jacques gave various forms of assent while Quartet tipped his hat.

"Oh, and Shizuka. I found the perfect outfit for you."

Dr. Zlo pulled the cheerleader outfit out of his inventory. "I think this is exactly what we need you to be."

Shizuka took a look at the outfit, then laughed, "You want me to wear that?"

"I'll let you have an entire hour with Cass. I'll even throw in a bar where he can make you drinks."

"Boss, please don't."

"Quiet, Cass. I'm making a deal."

Shizuka pondered the idea, debating the pros and cons. Eventually, she held out a hand.

"As much as I hate the fact that a ninja cheerleader sounds like the worst anime stereotype, an entire hour with that silver man is too good to pass up."

Cass sagged as Dr. Zlo took the hand. The things he had to put up with for his boss.

"One more thing," Shizuka said as she took the uniform. "I better not be the only cheerleader."

"Of course not!" Dr. Zlo lied. "One cheerleader for an entire event is hardly sporting. Now, let us be off! We have some instruments to acquire."

Shizuka stored the outfit in her inventory and ported behind a car. Dr. Zlo commanded his minions forward through the parking lot. Quartet held up his cane and hummed, starting a marching tune for the Jacques to follow. The minions stepped in time to Quartet's hum, their feet causing tiny tremors in the parking lot pavement.

Dr. Zlo followed behind, Mabel standing on his left and Cass on his right. Quartet and the Jacques marched past onlookers, who turned curiously to look at the eclectic group. A few brought out phones to record the scene. Only the security guard standing outside understood what was about to happen.

Frantically, the man fumbled out his radio, speaking into the other end, "A villain has appeared at the Piano Store. Repeat, a villain has appeared at the piano store!"

The radio crackled as another voice replied, "Roger that. What's the description?"

The guard glanced up, "It's a group of robots, I think, dressed as a marching band. Behind them are three others. Two in suits and one in a sundress."

"Confirm again, did you say a marching band?"

"I know what I said!" the guard shouted. "Now get an actual responder over here or so help me god–"

The radio exploded in the guard's hand, a laser blast from Dr. Zlo's monocle blasting the machine to pieces. The guard cried out in pain and clutched his hand. The Jacques walked past, still marching in time to Quartet's humming.

"Terribly sorry about the hand," Dr. Zlo said as he walked up. "Let me help."

The next laser shot the guard straight in the torso, bringing him to the ground. NPCs around the area screamed as they realized what happened.

"Hello Mutatholis!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "I am Dr. Zlo! Criminal mastermind! I am here to bring a bit of flair to your boring, mundane lives."

NPCs screamed over the villain's speech.

"Oh, come now! Let's all be civilized!" Dr. Zlo commanded.

"Oh god! He's gonna kill us all!" A voice shouted.

"Madam! I assure you, if you stop screaming, no harm will come to you!"

"Oh, please! I have ten cats! I'm too young to – Ack!"

The blast from Dr. Zlo's monocle cut her off, "As I was saying!"

The crowd quieted.

"Much better. As I was saying! I am Dr. Zlo! Criminal mastermind! I have come to bring some flair to this drab city, and possibly to conquer it. You are all the first to witness my greatness!"

A tuba sounded in the store behind the villain.

"I require all of you to hand over all your valuables!"

A snare drum rat-a-tat-tatted in the distance. The NPCs milled about confused. Dr. Zlo sighed and shot another blast from his monocle, eliciting screams of horror from the crowd.

"Hurry it up! I don't have all day. Place them here, in a pile!"

A guitar riff played inside the store.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Dr. Zlo yelled. He turned to the Piano Store. "Can't you lot steal quietly? I'm trying to work a crowd here, and I can't do that if you're playing random instruments!"

"I found him!" a voice called from above.

Dr. Zlo looked up to see a muscular man in a leotard hovering in the air.

"And now I have heroes," Dr. Zlo groaned.

The man landed on the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust as he did. With a wave of his hand, the cloud dispersed, revealing tan arms and legs that complimented the hero's dark hair. Dr. Zlo stared as the man waved.

"Hi, you're Dr. Zlo, right? I've seen, like, all of your videos. You're amazing."

"Um…" Dr. Zlo said, unsure what to do about the hero that appeared.

"I'm sorry, I know you're in character and everything but I saw you down in the parking lot and I just had to come say hi. I loved all your videos, especially the first one that came out. Tying that NPC to the tracks was awesome! And that gun, oh my god that was the best thing I've seen in years. That hero was so mad when he got hit."

"It seems my reputation precedes me!" Dr. Zlo shouted, rolling with the new information. Apparently, there were more fans of the villain than Dylan expected. "But unless you plan to help, I request you leave."

"Oh my god, do I get to fight you? Oh, this is so awesome!" the man said. "My name's Windswept. Are you going to hit me with your gun? That would be so cool!"

"Enough talking!" Dr. Zlo shouted. He fired a blast from his monocle, hitting Windswept right in the torso. "Some heroic fan won't stop me from completing my MASTER PLAN!"

Windswept winced from the strike, "Right, sorry. This is a big fight, probably for another video. Here, let me get into character."

The hero steeled their features and lowered their voice to try and sound menacing, "You fiend! I will not let you take these gentle citizen's valuables!"

The voice didn't work. It sounded more like a whale call than something menacing. Dr. Zlo took it all in stride. Not everyone could do perfect voices.

"Ahahaha! You can try!" Dr. Zlo pulled off his gloves and threw them at Windswept. After the fight with John, Dylan made sure to recreate all his weapons, upgrading a few of them in the process. His monocle was much deadlier now–he added a disintegration setting–and his cane had a few new surprises in store for anyone who dared to make him use it.

The villain turned to his minions as the gloves came off. "Mabel, have these people give me what I want, then send them after our heroic friend here," he whispered.

"You fiend!" Windswept shouted. "I won't let you harm a single hair on these fine men and women!"

"I assure you," Dr. Zlo said. "I don't plan to be the one harming them."

The gloves activated, flying in a beeline towards the hero. Windswept saw them approach and made a swatting motion with his hand. A gust of wind picked up around the dueling gloves and tossed them to the side. The hero's other hand batted the air, and another gust of wind flew toward Dr. Zlo.

The villain flipped into the air, forcing him to activate his rocket boots. "This is so awesome!" Windswept shouted.

Dr. Zlo righted himself with his boots and fired another shot with his monocle, this time switching to the disintegration setting. A swirling beam shot out, but Windswept made a lifting motion with his hands and shot into the air. The beam traveled along, striking a car. At the same time, Mabel commanded the other NPCs to stick all their valuables in a pile.

Windswept soared into the air above Dr. Zlo and twisted to dive. The villain tried to move out of the way, but the hero clapped his hands together, squeezing Dr. Zlo between two walls of air. Unable to move, Dr. Zlo tried firing his disintegrator at Windswept.

The hero twirled out of the way and slammed into Dr. Zlo with a mighty tackle. Windswept brought the villain to the ground, where he activated another wall of wind to keep the villain pinned. He continued to press his hand down, keeping the current active.

"Take that, villain!" the hero grinned. "I have bested you in combat!"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Dr. Zlo remarked.

Before Windswept could reply, two gloves socked the hero straight in the jaw. The hero recoiled from the force of the blow, removing the wall of wind holding Dr. Zlo down. The villain sprang up with his cane at the ready.

"Hold him down!" shouted the villain to the gloves. The two gloves latched onto Windswept's hands, pulling him down to the ground.

"A bit of advice," Dr. Zlo said. "Never gloat until you're sure you have the upper hand!"

Dr. Zlo fired his disintegrator, and Windswept screamed in mock pain.

"Nooooo! I didn’t even get hit with the gun!"

"Muahahahaha!" laughed Dr. Zlo as the last of Windswept's health bar depleted.

The hero disappeared as he fell, no doubt respawning somewhere in the city. Dr. Zlo turned back to Mabel after the fight finished and looked at the pile of goods the NPCs left. Wallets, jewelry, and other accessories sat on the pavement. Still cackling, Dr. Zlo scooped them all up into his inventory.

Quartet and the Jacques emerged moments later carrying an assortment of instruments. Dr. Zlo groaned, "I said brass, percussion, and woodwinds. Not strings and synth!"

The villain stared pointedly at a Jacques with a keytar. The minion sagged as Dr. Zlo snapped a finger back into the shop.

"That goes for the rest of you," he commanded.

Two more Jacques sulked back into the store, returning the bass and guitar they stole. The Jacques in the majorette uniform hid in the back, keeping the viola it stole hidden behind the crowd. Dr. Zlo missed it in his scan, causing the minion to wipe an imaginary bead of sweat off its brow.

"Right! Now that we have our instruments," Dr. Zlo cheered. "we can prepare for our assault on the Savior School for Mutant Education!"

The minions returned the cheer, the Jacques bringing their instruments into the air. Sirens sounded in the distance, causing Dr. Zlo to rush, "Come on, we need to leave!" Dr. Zlo pulled out keyfobs from his inventory, pressing the panic buttons on each to find the cars located around.

"Everyone, take a car!"

The minions rushed to obey, grabbing keys out of the villain's hands and racing to the various vehicles. Engines started, and tires squealed as the cars peeled out of the parking lot and made their way away from the crime scene. Once Dylan left the area, the message showing his success appeared.