Vaudevillain

Psy-ops sat in his secret base, bored out of his mind. Ever since that team of villains took out the alien mini-boss in the city, things hadn't been as interesting. Sure, the option to have aliens assault his base was still there, but the idea had lost its appeal after the fifth time. He'd never enjoyed tower defense games.

Instead, the man spent his time in his secret base listening to the police reports on various supers. Vert's choice to make anything a base after squatting long enough allowed Psy-ops to set up shop right next to the chief of police's building. His psychometry power let him tap into phone lines or radios, letting him listen in on reports.

He'd learned a lot over the months of gathering information. It turned out that the chief of police was also the secret head of the Mutant Registration Militia, and secretly pushed his agenda for outlawing mutants. When he first learned of the information, Psy-ops had been ecstatic. The idea that he could single-handily bring down a powerful villain in the world filled him with excitement.

He compiled the list of conversations the police chief held with the militia and sent them to the City Attorney. Now alerted to the police chief's crimes, the woman went to work prosecuting anyone involved. Psy-ops remembered how excited he had been to see the fall of such a large force in the city and eagerly wondered what would happen once he took them down. Instead, all that happened was the Attorney hefting a humungous fine and forcing the Chief to sever any involvement he had with the MRM.

It was such a dull ending to the story. Sure, Psy-ops still got some reputation for stopping a significant threat, but what he'd wanted to see didn't happen. Instead, the city kept its status quo.

Which made sense, Psy-ops didn't know why he thought this game would be any different from any other MMO. The player's choices never affected the outcome of the story as a whole. Not unless they broke the game in some way. Like that Dr. Zlo character from the video he watched.

Now there was a villain, at least in Psy-ops's opinion. He wished the players in Mutatholis were as exciting as Dr. Zlo. The only thing villains cared about here was stealing money and finding Phlebotinium. No one wanted to perform crazy crimes or think outside the box. Heck, Psy-ops would even take someone like Dextra Black. Taking over the city was a better goal than robbing every bank on the street.

Psy-ops rested his hand on the radio for the third time that night, hoping that something had changed. To his surprise, it had. A border guard was shouting into the microphone about a class M threat, which if Psy-ops remembered right, meant a mind-controller. Now, that was a rare sight. Mind control didn't work on anything except NPCs, and Psy-ops wondered what player decided to go that route.

He kept listening to the broadcast, face changing from interest to excitement. The border guards were describing the intruders, apparently an entire group of sharply dressed characters. Psy-ops took a breath, could it be? Did Dr. Zlo come and visit his city? God, he hoped so.

If Dr. Zlo was here, that meant things might get a lot more interesting. Psy-ops jumped up from his recliner chair and grabbed his gear. He just had to be there when the player started his crimes. It would probably be the most fun he had in a while.

Dr. Zlo stood on the corner of Baker Street and Corn Avenue, staring at the shabby building in front of him.

"Hm. I imagined a more suitable place for the first part of the crime. This uniform store seems a bit, dreary."

"What do you even need uniforms for anyway?" Shizuka asked.

"Why, we're going to be attending a sporting event. What self-respecting person wouldn't show up in the proper attire? Besides, I need this distraction to attract everyone in the school. A few Jacques with Mabel and Quartet won't cut it."

Shizuka shrugged, "Alright. It's your call." The ninja jumped away in a flash of smoke, her last few words hanging in the air, "If you need me, I'll be watching from the shadows."

"This is a uniform store. How hard can it be?" Dr. Zlo sassed.

Cass took a sharp breath. He remembered what happened the last time his boss called something easy.

"Boss, maybe we should take a minute and–"

"No time, Cass," Dr. Zlo interrupted. "We need to be in and out before any heroes know what happened. I can't have my plan discovered before I enact it." The villain turned to address his other minions, "Quartet, have the Jacques follow behind you. I'm going to announce our presence. Once I have, come bursting in."

"Understood," Quartet sang.

With a twirl and a flourish, Dr. Zlo strode over to the uniform storefront and pulled the door open with force. The small bell above the door clanged as the door connected with it, alerting the shopkeeper to Dr. Zlo's presence. The villain swept past the rows of uniforms haphazardly hung on racks, stepping in front of the short man behind the counter.

"Good evening, I am Dr. Zlo! And I have come for some marching uniforms!" The villain threw his arms wide, posing for dramatic effect. The shopkeeper ignored the pose and flipped the page on the magazine he had in his hands.

"Jus' grab what ye see on the racks," the short shopkeeper said. "Don' got nothin' in the back."

"Ah. I don't think you understand," Dr. Zlo turned away from the shopkeeper and looked outside. Quartet and the Jacques were waiting patiently. Upset they hadn't heard his first cue, the villain shouted again, "I am here for some marching uniforms!"

Dr. Zlo jerked his head at Quartet, who missed the motion as a Jacques bent in front to inspect his cane.

"I said they were on the racks," the shopkeeper answered, still not looking up from his magazine.

"Oh, blast it," Dr. Zlo said. With a quick shot from his monocle, he carved a molten hole into the glass. Quartet and the Jacques finally looked in the direction of Dr. Zlo. "Get in here, you idiots!"

Jumping to action, the Jacques charged forward and crashed through the store windows. Flimsy mannequins toppled to the ground as twenty Jacques spilled inside. Quartet followed after, twirling his cane and whistling.

"Now!" Dr. Zlo twisted back around to address the shopkeeper, "I have come for some marching uniforms!"

Startled, the shopkeeper ducked below the countertop, returning a second later with a small handgun. "You ain't gonna steal from me, ya rubes."

Dr. Zlo laughed, tossing his hands into the air and firing a laser. The gun jumped out of the shopkeeper's hand and clattered to the ground. "Muahaha! Your puny weapons are nothing against the might of Dr. Zlo!"

With another flourish, the villain turned back to his minions, "Jacques! Do you have everything?"

Each Jacques held up a marching uniform, though no two uniforms were the same kind. Some of the uniforms were grey, others a mix of red and black, and even more a brilliant emerald. Each came with a hat, a colored feather sticking straight up in the air. One Jacques had found a majorette uniform and a baton.

"You couldn't find anything in the same color?" Dr. Zlo questioned. The Jacques all shook their heads.

"Fine. Quartet! Have you found something?"

"That I have," Quartet intoned. The minion held up a black double-breasted uniform with a bearskin cap.

"Excellent! Now, let us make our escape before the heroes arrive!"

Dr. Zlo ushered his Jacques out of the store, pausing at a cheerleader costume. A wicked smile crossed his face, and he grabbed the uniform. It would be perfect for Shizuka. After all, what was a sporting event without a cheerleader?

As soon as he stepped foot outside, Dr. Zlo saw a group of armed policemen running toward the store. "Curses! We were too slow. Mabel! Stop them!"

Smoothing her sundress, Mabel stepped off the sidewalk in front of the officers. "Hello boys. I must say, those uniforms look mighty fine on the two of you. What say you stop what you're doing and talk to me for a second."

One guard stiffened, but the other ignored the request. The policeman aimed his gun at Mabel and fired. The bullet connected with the minion's sundress, sending Mabel back a step as the protective material stopped the shot.

"Now, that wasn't very kind of you," Mabel chided. "I think he needs a lesson in manners." She turned to the other policeman, "Would you please arrest that ruffian for me?"

"Yes, ma'am," the NPC answered. He grabbed a pair of handcuffs from his belt and made to tackle the other man. The cop responded by pulling out a radio. "Class M threat discovered on the corner of Baker and Corn! Suspect matches the description of the intruder from earlier. Request additional backup and use of class X personnel to deal with the criminal!"

The policeman grunted into his radio as his partner tackled him to the ground.

"Time to go, Mabel!" Dr. Zlo yelled. He directed the Jacques back over to the sewers, where Cass was waiting with Shizuka. The two had removed the cover to the maintenance hole and were starting their descent into the sewers.

"Suspect is fleeing to the sewers!" the policeman yelled into his radio. "Request class T personnel for tracking!"

Dr. Zlo turned and blasted the radio from the policeman, then shot the mind-controlled man's as well. "Forget the sewers! We're making our escape through the alley!"

The minions all turned and followed Dr. Zlo out through the alley. Unable to chase, the policeman could only watch helplessly as the criminals got away.

Once they left the area, Dr. Zlo received a message.

He dismissed the message as it appeared. There were more important things to do at the moment. His next stop was coming up.

Psy-ops arrived at the uniform store just in time to see two cops struggling against each other. One kept trying to cuff the other, and the hero noticed both NPCs had broken radios. 

He took stock of the rest of the area. Glass pieces were scattered all across the inside of the storefront, slowly getting swept up by a short shopkeeper. The racks of uniforms sat disheveled inside the building, and pieces of clothing littered the floor. Psy-ops wondered why Dr. Zlo would choose this as their first stop.

He didn't have to wonder for long. His power allowed him to read things. With things like a radio, that meant the conversations people had through them. But with a building, Psy-ops could read the past few minutes of activity.

He placed his hand over the stone bricks outside the building and watched the video that appeared in front of him. Dr. Zlo's crime played, and Psy-ops smiled. So Dr. Zlo intended to do something with sports. That left a few places for the villain to hit.

Excited, the hero messaged a few of his friends. Dr. Zlo had come to town, and they needed to get ready for some fun.