Vaudevillain

Dr. Zlo stared at Dextra's limousine until it left the driveway and was well on its way down the street. Now that the vehicle was out of sight, Dr. Zlo felt comfortable relaxing. Whoever was hiding in the shadows was impressive, squeezing a bottle of hot sauce into Cass's hands without anyone noticing. It also meant he needed to call back some of the mice to search for more bugs. The hatbots might get some, but it was more likely the mice could find most of them.

"I should get me a car," Dr. Zlo commented. He had to admit, Dextra had a lot of style driving around in a limo like that. Hell, the villainess had a lot of style in general. Every inch of their character seemed designed with class in mind.

Once Dr. Zlo was sure the car was out of sight, he walked over to the fountain sitting in the middle of the driveway. He wanted to get a couple of inventions created before telling others about the windfall they'd gotten.

"First off, I think we should make our fountain a bit more exciting. Don't you think, Cass?"

"Sure, boss."

Dylan thought about it. There were many options for upgrading a fountain like this one: a simple turret inside the stone statue, a hidden camera in the statue's eye, acid water. There were so many options Dr. Zlo could choose. But Dylan couldn't just pick an idea at random.

No, the fountain was the first thing an invader would see. Well, that was the case if the invader came in through the driveway. Anyways, whoever invaded might not know who they were dealing with. And Dr. Zlo would never allow some ignorant fool to assault his mighty secret mansion. Therefore, the fountain had to scream, "you have now entered Dr. Zlo's territory, quake in fear!"

He thought about it for a bit before coming to a conclusion. There was no doubt about it, Dr. Zlo would have a sculpture of himself as the fountain centerpiece. Invaders would see it come to life to drive them off with cane and hat. Though it still seemed a bit weak.

Dr. Zlo turned to scan the rest of the area, his eye catching a few weathered gargoyles sitting on the roof. Now that could work. A living statue theme would fit perfectly with the gothic architecture. The statue of himself on the fountain would control the gargoyles, and he could make a whole slew of Dr. Zlo's for the garden.

He opened up his power tab to get started. After a few entries and reentries, Dylan settled on this:

Living statue (Dr. Zlo)

This stone edifice of Dr. Zlo is secretly a mechanical construct that comes to life whenever an intruder enters the area. It can command the other living statues around the mansion through the use of a communicator found in its hat.

Plaster of Paris (25 lb. bag)

Marbles (1 bag)

Two-way Radio (1)

Image of Dr. Zlo (1)

Gears (10)

Three Foot Metal Rod (5)

Mustache Cream (1)

The radio, gears, and metal rods were easy enough to acquire. Dylan had those pieces sitting down in his secret lab. An image would be simple as well, as he could use one of the cameras to get his picture. It was the last three ingredients on the list that he'd have to find.

"This constant fetch quest is getting a bit annoying," Dylan muttered. At first, it was a fun way to explore the world, and it gave Dr. Zlo an excellent reason to go around causing general chaos. But now it seemed as if Dr. Zlo's entire life was imagining something, running off to find the ingredients, making said imagined something, and finally using it to get money or materials. Only for him to do it all again a bit later. And while that might be the general modus operandi for older villains, it wasn't all that fun to play after a while.

"What's that, boss?"

"Nothing Cass, just lamenting that my genius requires so many exotic materials."

"Well, gee boss, what sort of exotic materials?"

"Everything, Cass. My greatest inventions require a little bit of something from all walks of life. Take my latest brainchild; this living statue of my greatness needs Plaster of Paris and marbles. It's such a chore having to search for these materials every time genius strikes."

"Then why not have someone else do it, boss?"

"Cass! I can't just send some Jacques out to get what I need! And if I sent you or Mabel, some hero might learn our location! I can't have you going out until we reinforce the area."

"Of course, boss. I just thought you could call someone up to deliver it to your door."

"What was that? Call someone?"

"Yeah, boss. I'm sure plenty of people are willing to deliver things. But it might cost a bit more."

Dylan thought about it. It was a decent idea, for now at least. Delivery services would be harder to use later on when Dr. Zlo went around the entire world. But for the moment, he could use the service for his needs. There was only one problem though, Dr. Zlo was currently broke.

He'd spent all his money to buy the materials for his elevator and new minion factory. Which meant he had to either rob some bank or run off to the factory district and steal more materials—neither of which he wanted to do right now. Dylan wanted to finish trapping his base.

"Hey, Dylan!" John called.

Dylan turned. "Yeah?"

"Come check out where I place the guns."

"Alright," he answered. Dr. Zlo could use a bit of a break pondering how to make his operation work. He walked up to the front door and let John lead him up the stairs.

"Oh, by the way," Dylan said as he walked behind John. "I got us some Phlebotinium."

John stopped at the top of the stairs to look back. "How?"

"You remember that woman I faced when I kidnapped the Mayor's son?"

"The muscled one?"

"No, the one in a black dress."

"Yeah, I remember her." John definitely wouldn't forget a character like that. Dextra reminded John of all the business tycoon villains in comics.

"Well, she and I made a deal. She gave me some Phlebotinium, and in exchange I'm telling her when we do the heist."

"And you didn't tell us?"

Dylan shrugged. "I mean, I'm telling you now. She just came over."

John sighed. "Man, you can't just take a deal like that. We're a team on this heist."

"I was channeling Dr. Zlo. He's not really one to think of the others in situations like that."

"Oh, and that's your excuse? It's what my character would do." John snapped.

Dylan frowned. "I don't see why you're getting so mad."

"Jesus Dylan, who knows what that player is going to do. No one just gives someone a material like that. Not in games like these."

"I figured we could plan around it."

"Plan around this other villains plan. A plan that we don't know. Other than the fact it's going to happen when we start our heist." John's face was deadpan.

"Oh." Dylan felt a bit silly. His friend was probably right; he should have tried to get more information. But it wasn't like Dextra knew all of Dr. Zlo's plan, just that he was stealing a mothership.

"Yeah, oh." John sighed. "Alright, nothing we can do about it now except have another meeting. But we're going to need to figure out how to work with your, 'character,' if you make deals like this."

"I still don't know if it could be that bad." The more Dylan thought about it, the more it seemed like John was angry over nothing. After all, this was just a game.

"What if she assaults the secret base while we're out?"

"It doesn't matter if we steal the mothership. And if we fail, oh well."

John pointed a finger at his friend. "Don't, 'oh well,' me. You might be fine losing progress in this game, but I'm not. And I bet the others feel the same way."

Dylan held his hands up defensively. "Alright, I'm sorry. Dr. Zlo didn't think it through. But the only thing we can do now is plan around it."

John sighed. "I know." He brushed past Dylan to head down the stairs. "C'mon, we need to tell the others about this."

"And we should talk about ways for me to acquire materials. If we had a decent revenue stream, I could have Dr. Zlo ignore the problem."

"Sure. But first, we're telling the others about your f*ckup."

Dylan followed John back down the stairs, annoyed and upset. He didn't think there was a reason for John to get so angry, but he could also see what he was getting at. Dylan had been trying to dial back on the zaniness of Dr. Zlo to accommodate for his new friends. As much as he liked the character he was playing, Dylan wanted to enjoy the game with others as well.

But Dylan was unsure why John joined him in the first place. He'd thought it was because John wanted to join in on the fun. But now it seemed like John was taking over, trying to lead the group his way. The thought stuck with him as he went down into the basement. This time neither friend talked on the way down.

The elevator doors opened to a scene of Jacques bent forward in a leer. The minions were very obviously staring at a mermaid lounging on a few folding chairs. The mermaid had a body of what looked to be saltwater taffy, and a gummy tail twisted down the chair to the floor. Instead of the iconic seashell bra, the woman was dressed in a form-fitting business suit.

"Whatcha think, dudes?" Surfsup said as they walked out.

"We tried to combine all the different aspects of our characters," said Sweet Dream. "The mermaid is, of course, from Surf, I have the candy, and Super gets the business suit. We weren't sure what to add for you, though."

"Think about it later," John said. "We've got bigger problems."

"What's up?" Surfsup asked.

"Dylan here made a deal with another villain and got us phlebotinium."

"Oh, dude, that's sweet!"

"No, it's not."

Sweet Dream raised an eyebrow. "Isn't this what we wanted?"

"Not if he had to give up information on our heist to get it," John answered.

"So…" Sweet Dream prompted.

"So Dylan decided to promise he'd tell when we did the heist."

"Okay?" Sweet Dream and Surfsup looked at him quizically.

"Don't you see what this means? They'll know when we make the heist! What if they do something to the base while we're up there?"

"Chill, dude. It's not like Superfan has to tell the villain, right?" Surfsup turned to Dylan with a questioning look.

Dylan opened his mouth to speak, but John spoke first. "He's going to, though."

"I'm right here," Dylan shot out. He didn't like it when someone spoke for him. "And it wouldn't matter if I did or didn't. The villain who made the deal already had the place under surveillance."

"Oh, so it's fine to tell them because they'd know anyway?" John shot back.

"What's your issue?" Sweet Dream demanded. "This isn't that big a deal."

"Yeah, dude. Chill a bit." Surfsup said.

John looked at both the others quizzically, wondering how they could be so calm about this. "You don't understand. Since that woman can monitor us, she can tell where all our traps will be. If she knows we're going to steal a mothership, we'll lose everything and have to start from scratch. Not to mention if we fail the heist, we'll all lose some reputation."

"Yeah, but not a lot," Surfsup replied.

It occurred to Dylan now that John seemed more concerned about losing the base than completing the heist. "Do you actually want to steal the mothership?" He challenged.

John paused in his tirade. "I mean… yeah. But later on. After we fix your mistake. I think we should focus on making the whole base a fortress. We can get a lot of power if we farm the invasions."

The annoyance Dylan had felt from John started to boil over. It felt like his friend was avoiding the question. "I didn't ask if you wanted to join in on a base-building adventure. I asked if you wanted to perform a heist."