Vaudevillain

"Alright," Dylan started, " it's like this. We need to figure out how to take control of that mothership." He sipped one of the many cocktails Cass had left lying around that he'd grabbed while heading down to call the mice. At the moment, Cass was still in the basement. Dylan and the rest were standing around the kitchen table discussing the plan.

"Why don't I just surf it?"

Sweet Dream rolled her eyes. "Surf, you might be able to do that, but that doesn't mean we control it."

"And I can't really assimilate it," John said. "Who knows how long it would take. It would be better to build up our defenses here."

Dylan dropped into Dr. Zlo. "None would dare to assault the abode of the great Dr. Zlo! Even now, my Jacques patrol the area, eyes peeled for any suspicious activity."

A Jacques walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, checking to see if anyone was hiding. All that it saw was a half-eaten sandwich and some lemonade. Satisfied no one had invaded the home, the Jacques closed the door and moved on to walk around the rest of the house.

"And right now, my intelligent mice are scouting the area around the mothership," declared Dr. Zlo. "And I have an idea to take control of the machine."

John looked at his friend. "Hey, calm down with the roleplaying. We need to be serious about this. How long will it take for the mice to scout?"

Dylan deflated, he'd thought it would be fun to monologue about his grand plan. He shrugged listlessly and answered John. "Not sure. Depends on the target, I suppose. But it can't hurt to discuss ideas on how to get inside."

"No," John declared. "Instead of brainstorming how to get into the mothership, we should start making more gadgets. With your disassembler and the customizable minion factory, we should be able to get a decent strike team."

Dylan frowned. That sounded a lot like him getting stuck in the basement for the foreseeable future.

"Wait, dudes."

Everyone turned to look at Surfsup.

"What if I tried surfing the internet? Hacked my way into the mothership on their WiFi signal."

Sweet Dream looked at him. "…You didn't listen at all after you asked to surf it, did you?"

"Oh, no. What did you say?"

"We were going to make more gadgets to use for the heist," John said.

"Sweet! I grabbed me a rashguard while we went shopping. Do you think you could make that into some armor for me?" Surfsup pulled out a skintight black outfit with the picture of a wave plastered on the front.

"You get anything for me?" Asked Sweet Dream.

"Yeah, here." Surfsup tossed a pump-action water gun at the woman. "I thought you could fill it with chocolate or something."

Sweet Dream immediately tossed it to Dylan. "I don't know if you'll need this, but here."

Dylan caught the toy weapon and stored it inside his inventory. "I'll see what I can do. But Surf's thought gave me an idea." He turned to John. "What if we used some Phlebotinium to give you a hacking power of some kind? Or we upgrade your current power to have you dive inside computers or something."

"That could work," John answered. " But I don't have any Phlebotinium."

"Well, lucky for you," Dylan pulled out his gender-bender gun, "I have a piece right here and a working disassembler."

The others looked at each other, then looked at Dylan. "Well, don't just stand there!" John pushed his friend over to the stairwell, "start making me my new power!"

The four of them went down the stairs and towards the pit Dylan made to reach his secret lab. "Hold up," Dylan said. He opened his power tab up and quickly created the hidden elevator. The telltale box appeared over the pit while a wall clicked into place and covered the elevator doors. A candlestick appeared and settled over a sconce that settled onto the wall.

"Not bad," Sweet Dream said. She walked forward and pulled down on the sconce. The hidden wall swung outward, and the elevator doors dinged open. "Not bad at all."

The group filed into the elevator and descended into the secret lab. Ten Jacques playing musical chairs greeted them. They had somehow found a stack of folding chairs in the basement. Eight of the lackeys were watching the last two circle around the final chair. Through some unspoken command, the final two Jacques dove forward at the chair. Both heads crashed into each other, bringing both minions onto the chair in a slump.

Dylan stepped past them, ignoring their antics. He made his way over to the disassembler while the others stood outside the elevator, staring at the minions. "Are you guys coming?"

"You have some crazy minions, dude," Surfsup said.

"And if Surf says it, it has to be true," commented Sweet Dream.

"They're pretty great," Dylan replied. He tossed the gender bender gun up into the disassembler. The machine ground down the marvelous weapon, separating the components into little pieces. Cubes of plastic, various metals, and a dull material that could only be Phlebotinium fell into the catch tray at the bottom. Dylan scrunched his brow and picked up the Phlebotinium cube.

"I don't remember it being this color when I stole it earlier." He tossed the material into his inventory. "Crap."

"What is it?" John asked.

"I now have a gram of depleted Phlebotinium," Dylan replied.

"Ah."

"Yeah. And I lost the gender bender gun too d*mn."

"So, we aren't able to give him a hacking power?" Sweet Dream asked.

Dylan pulled out the depleted Phlebotinium. "Not with this."

"D*mn."

Surfsup shrugged. "Dudes, let's just look for some and steal it? Or go find another contact that will get us some."

"He's right," John said. "It's not that big a deal. Didn't you guys find a contact like that?"

Dylan nodded, "Yeah. Which reminds me…" He pulled out the items he needed for the customizable minion factory and set them on the ground in the corner. With one quick application of his power, Dylan had a machine similar to the lackey factory sitting imposingly in the corner. The new factory held the same glass shower box as the old, but now the computer system sat in front of a tub with various nozzles and faucets.

"There we go, one customizable minion factory. Now, back to getting Phlebotinium."

"Nice, dude."

"It shouldn't be hard to find more Phlebotinium," said John. "But we also have a lot of other materials here. Like the Alienite stuff. See if you can make a hacking machine with it."

Dylan tried.

Hacking machine

This machine can hack into any computer system -- humanmade or alien -- and grant control of the computer to the user.

Desktop Computer (1)

Programming for Simpletons (1)

Microbee 128 (1)

USB hub (1)

Phlebotinium (1 g.)

"No dice," he said. "It still needs Phlebotinium to work."

"Doesn't seem right," Sweet Dream said. "Hacking requires some advanced tech."

"Yeah, but in movies, the ones doing the hacking are humans," Surfsup answered.

John pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, I think we have something with the hacking idea. At least, it's not a bad thing to prepare something to do it. But we also need to get this base trapped up before another group of aliens come. If aliens attack while we do the heist and the base isn't prepared, Dylan could lose all his progress."

"Temporary setbacks are nothing to Dr. Zlo!" Dylan declared.

"Yeah yeah. But if we fail the heist and the base gets destroyed, we won't have anything to come back to. I'd rather not lose all the progress we've made."

"We need to see how strong the minion factory is first, I think," Sweet Dream proposed.

"You can do that, and I'll start getting the garden trapped," Dylan said. "I need to do some actual Mad Science." All this time away from his character was getting to him.

"Here, take some of these." John handed over a few rocks of Alienite. "See if you can make something with them."

"Will do."

"Surf, what'll you do?" Sweet Dream asked.

"I dunno. You want some help with the minions?"

"Yeah, let's make a giant candy mermaid or something."

"H*ll yeah, dude!"

"Feel free to use the materials down here!" Dylan called as he walked into the elevator.

John walked in beside, and the door closed on Sweet Dream and Surfsup entering options into the computer. As they rode up, Dylan spoke.

"So Surf was thinking we should start recording what we do and put it online."

"Ha, I told you that the first time you hit the front page."

"You did. He said Dream could edit it all. And he'd manage the channel."

"Awesome, I can start sending footage immediately."

"Only if Dream says yes."

"I'm sure she will. Surf has an effect on people."

"Ha, yeah."

The elevator door opened and the two friends walked out. Dylan saw Cass standing behind the bar. "Ah! Good! Cass, I need your help. I understand savages from outside Earth have invaded our home. We're going to make sure they get a nasty surprise the next time they try to assault the great Dr. Zlo's mansion!"

Cass jumped. "Yes boss!"

John rolled his eyes as Dylan fell back into his character. Though, thinking about it, the videos might get more views if everyone did a little bit of roleplay. He decided to think about it while placing the new defenses.

Dylan walked up the stairs and threw open the front door. He stopped. A woman stood in front of him, a familiar woman. Dextra Black was standing at the front door, Jacques scattered around in heaps. Her hand was up in a knocking motion.

Dylan raised his cane in defense. "You! How did you find my hidden mansion?"

Dextra chuckled, "come now, Dr. Zlo. Give your adversary a bit more credit."

Dr. Zlo squinted. "You believe yourself my equal?"

"I'm sure you believe none are your equal, doctor. I think the same. And yet, you have bested me twice. It is most curious. But I am not here today to enact revenge. No, I know when to back down from a fight."

"Then, why are you here?"

"I propose a partnership."

"Ha! If you wanted to tell jokes, you should have brought your clown of a bodyguard."

"Call it a gesture of good faith. And I believe this partnership will benefit you greatly."

Dr. Zlo lowered his cane. "Explain."

Dextra pulled a piece of Phlebotinium out of her inventory. "A little bird told me you were in the market for some of this."

Dr. Zlo stared at the piece of wonder material suspiciously. "You've come all this way, with no bodyguard, where I could easily destroy you, to offer me this? And you expose that you're the one who infiltrated my base. Why?"

"When I heard the grand plan you had in mind, I knew I had to be a part of it."

Dr. Zlo scoffed. "My grand plan does not need someone like you."

"Then call it another gesture of good faith. You may take this piece of Phlebotinium. All I ask is you inform me when you start your heist."

Dylan debated in his head. On the one hand, passing up a free material like this was stupid. But on the other hand, this player was the only one to track him down after the fight. That meant Dextra had a plan to use him for something. Otherwise, someone roleplaying as the big bad evil would have already assaulted his hideout. He wasn't sure which option to take, walk into the trap or try and avoid it.

"Don't do it, boss," Cass said. "She's definitely up to something."

Well, that cinched it for Dylan. Dr. Zlo wasn't about to take advice from his minion. That would give the wrong impression entirely. He swiped the phlebotinium from Dextra's hand. "Even if she is up to something, Cass, the great Dr. Zlo won't succumb to petty trickery!"

Dextra smiled. "Excellent." She handed over a piece of paper. Upon opening it, Dylan saw Dextra's username. "Contact when you start your plan. I'll be waiting."

With that, she walked back to the limousine waiting outside.

"Boss, are you sure you should let her go?"

"Yes, Cass. I'm not willing to get into a fight with someone like that at the moment."

"What do you mean, boss?"

"Check your hand."

Cass looked down to see a bottle of hot sauce squeezed between his fingers. He started, "Boss--"

"Exactly, Cass. Now, I think we should get to work reinforcing our mansion. I can't have another incident like this in the future. We don't want people thinking it's easy to walk in."

Before he stepped outside, Dr. Zlo looked to his sitting room where Mabel was lounging. "Mabel! It seems that Dextra Black has bugged our house! Get some of the hatbots to help the Jacques search, will you?"

"Sure, hon." With a quick word, Mabel directed her Jacobs up the stairs.