First Secret Agent in History

How scary is the boiling oil pan?

People in this world don't know how many degrees boiling oil has? But everyone has seen fried chicken, fried popcorn, and fried dough sticks.

Put down the white meat and fry it, if you don't care, it can be fried directly into coke.

Usually, when boiling oil accidentally splashed on my body, I almost jumped up in pain.

Jumping directly into the frying pan, it should be painful.

Otherwise, one of the punishments in the eighteen levels of hell is to be put in a frying pan?

Everyone present was waiting for the horrible scene to appear, waiting for Yun Zhonghe to let out an unprecedented scream, and then smell the smell of fried meat.

Yun Zhonghe really let out a scream.

No... this... this scream is a bit... weird.

"ah……"

"oh……"

"It's so cool, it's so cool..."

"I haven't bathed for ten days, so I have to wash it cleanly now, for nothing, for nothing."

Yun Zhonghe in the oil pan took a bath in it leisurely.

This is of course a fake oil pan. The bottom of this huge pot is insulated. It is filled with acetic acid and borax, and there is only a layer of oil floating on the top.

From the visual effect, the smoke is billowing and the oil pan is boiling. In fact, the temperature is only about 60 degrees.

Yun Zhonghe not only started to take a bath, but also took off his shirt and pants inside, throwing them out one by one.

"Excuse me? Is there any soap? Where's the soap?"

"Not at all, then I'll rub it dry."

"Sister Leng Bi, do you want to come in and take a bath together? How about we have a mandarin duck bath?"

"In this situation, I would like to recite a poem: Duck Duck Duck, its neck quacking towards the sky, the yellow water floating on its hair, and the golden wave pulled by the devil's palm."

While reciting poems, Yun Zhonghe really raised his slender neck and swayed his dirty hair like weeds.

This picture is really thunderous.

The audience was still silent.

Aren't we here to see the murder today? How did he become a beggar acting in an absurd comedy?

"Papapapapa..." Jing Wubian held up his hands and clapped his hands.

"Interesting, interesting... You fucking are really not afraid of death."

"There are a lot of people pretending to be crazy and acting stupid in this world. I basically kill one when I see one."

"There are many real lunatics in this world, and they are no different from the walking dead."

"There is only one kind of person who is the rarest in this world, half mad and half conscious, and they are also the most painful."

"Yun Aotian, hell, can't you take a decent pseudonym? Whoever gave a child such a name, how much enmity the parents and the child must have had in previous lives."

Jing Wubian slightly raised his hand and said: "Yun Aotian, the thing that you offended me is just like this. You are an interesting person, and you are also a real lunatic. You have completed a wonderful performance at the cost of your life. Tonight I'm very happy. You don't have to die to live!"

Then, Jing Wubian said to Leng Bi: "Sister, you also know that my mind is abnormal, and I finally met a lunatic who is also abnormal. I want to spare him, is that okay?"

Leng Bi said: "I have killed countless people, either the spies of the surrounding powers, or the traitors in Cracking Wind City, all of them are elites. When I encounter a mouse, I can trample to death, but I don't have to trample to death."

"Thank you sister." Jing Boundless said.

Leng Bi said: "Wu Bian, do you want to adopt this mouse as a pet?"

Of course, this mouse refers to the crane in the cloud.

Jing Wubian looked at Yun Zhonghe in the frying pan, and said calmly, "You've been doing all this, just to take refuge in me, right? You just want to enter the City Lord's Mansion?"

Yun Aotian, oh no, Yun Zhonghe didn't speak. (Grandma's, I've been led astray)

Jing Wubian continued: "Sorry... no! Yun Aotian, you are very interesting, more interesting than the people around me, but you are not humble enough, not a good dog, nor a good pet."

Yun Zhonghe said: "That's a coincidence, I want to enter the city lord's mansion, and I want to seek refuge with Mr. Jing Wubian, but my request is that you bring me back with eight sedan chairs. Today I was arrested by you Yes, you are not sincere enough, so I don't want to just rely on you."

"Eight lifts a big sedan chair? Do you want me to marry you to start?" Jing Wubian said: "Come here, send Mr. Yun Aotian away, wherever he came from, throw him back, and from now on Don't pay attention to him, no matter how wonderful his performance is, no matter how hard he works."

What Jing Wubian said was to completely close the gate of the City Lord's Mansion and not accept Yun Zhonghe for life.

If this is the case, wouldn't all previous efforts be wasted?

"Take it away, take it away, give him one hundred taels of silver, and treat it as tonight's performance fee." Jing Boundless waved his hand, couldn't help but scratched it again, his face twitched again, obviously another throbbing pain.

A few warriors stepped forward and were about to lift Yun Zhonghe out of the frying pan and throw him back to Daoyangshu Alley, letting him continue to tell fortunes.

Yun Zhonghe said: "Mr. Jing, you have something hard to say, you don't dare to drink water, right? Because every time you urinate, it hurts like a knife cut, but the more this happens, the more urgent, frequent, and painful it is. And he often urinates blood, and it has begun to rot and fester."

"Ah? How do you know?" Jing Boundless trembled suddenly.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh..." Yun Zhonghe made a hush sound.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hearing this sound, Jing Wubian's whole body trembled, convulsing and excruciatingly painful.

"You, you are fucking dead, you are going to die..." Jing Boundless screamed frantically, clamping his legs desperately.

It's not that he doesn't want to go to the latrine, but when he thinks of the severe pain during urination, he really wants to kill himself, so now he dare not drink water or drink.

This is the reason why he has such a violent temper recently, and he always feeds people to tigers.

The key point is that I am too embarrassed to tell outsiders about this kind of thing. I have searched all the doctors, but they can't cure it.

Even if it gets better for a day or two occasionally, it relapses soon.

And so his mania got worse.

Why? Why?

I am so handsome, but I have frequent urination and painful urination?

You are not handsome, but you don't have frequent urination and painful urination?

Is there any justice in this world?

Yun Zhonghe could tell that Jing Wubian's illness was already very, very serious.

Prostatitis, followed by urethritis, and even other inflammations. I didn’t see that his face was abnormally red. Did he already have a fever? The lymph nodes should also be very swollen. I didn’t see him sitting in a chair all the time. Are you afraid to move?

And his infertility should also be due to prostatitis, which is the number one killer of male infertility.

Because of this disease, Jing Wubian has not touched a woman for a long time, what fun is there in such a life?

In modern society, although these two diseases are not fatal, they are also painful. Every time I go to the toilet, it is like a knife and a fire.

Yun Zhonghe said: "Young Master Jing Wubian, I can cure your disease, and I promise to give you a carefree and happy life."

"Dream!" Jing Wubian said: "A dozen imperial doctors from the Southern Zhou Empire and the Great Winning Empire have come. Doctors from all over the world who specialize in treating difficult and miscellaneous diseases have come to see me. None of them are cured well. You just A half-crazy, half-stupid charlatan is just watching, wanting to cure my illness? Dreaming!"

"It's easy to do, as long as you make a few pills, you can guarantee that the medicine will cure the disease." Yun Zhonghe said: "I, Yunao, know astronomy from the sky, geography from the bottom, understand Yin and Yang, and know gossip. Wen can govern the country, and martial arts can heal flowers and willows. He is the number one talent in the world."

"Can it really be cured?" Jing Wubian asked, his face already serious.

If it wasn't for Yun Zhonghe's performance just now, he would not believe it at all, but now he feels that Yun Zhonghe really has a bit of a superior demeanor.

Moreover, this illness really tortured Jing Boundless so much that he couldn't bear to live, even if there was a ten thousandth hope, he didn't want to miss it.

Yun Zhonghe said lightly: "If you can't get rid of the disease, you will kill me, the worst enemy. Send a few black people to ravage me Yun Aotian to death!"

Jing Wubian said: "Yun Aotian, you are very interesting, I don't want to kill you anymore. Besides, I am already a little desperate for my disease. If you rekindle my hope, it will not be cured in the end. Well, the consequences would be dire."

At this moment, Jing Boundless's voice was already very serious.

"A military order!" Yun Zhonghe took out a pen from his dirty clothes and said, "Can you give me a piece of paper?"

Soon someone handed him a snow-white cloud paper.

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to this kind of paper. Is there any kind of rough grass paper, the kind used in the latrine." Yun Zhonghe said: "Seeing this white and smooth rice paper, I think it can't be wiped clean Butt, the coefficient of friction is not enough."

My god, what kind of shit is wrong with you?

Soon someone really found him a big scrap of paper.

Yun Zhonghe was overjoyed, licked the brush with his tongue to wet the ink on it, and then wrote the military order on the rough straw paper.

The content is as follows:

"If Mr. Jing Wubian's terminal illness is not cured, Yun Aotian will be trampled to death."

Halo, when did prostatitis and urethritis become terminally ill?

Yun Zhonghe said: "If I really cured your painful illness, then you have to use eight sedan chairs to bring me back into the city lord's mansion."

"No problem." Jing Wubian said: "If you can cure my illness, you will be my benefactor. From now on, the City Lord's Mansion will be your home, and I will be your backer. gone."

"Walking sideways?" Yun Zhonghe said, "Is it the overlord's step that the six relatives don't recognize?"

Huh? Why are you focusing on this? Off topic.

Jing Boundless said: "Yes."

Yun Zhonghe said: "Young Master Jing Wubian, can you perform the overlord step for me? Demonstration?"

Jing Boundless was taken aback, what... what does this mean? Let me show you a show? Are you courting death?

Yun Zhonghe said: "If you are sick, take two steps, take two steps."

Everyone was stunned, you Yun Aotian was back to normal for less than a quarter of an hour, and you went crazy again?

You managed to come out of the ghost gate alive, so you can't wait to die?

Mr. Jing Boundless is moody, you will die if you tease him like this!

Yun Zhonghe said: "Young Master Jing Wubian, I think you are a bit depressed, you need to vent your anger, come down and take a few steps."

"Walk two steps if you are not sick, take two steps if you are sick, take two steps!"

"Ha, hahaha..." Jing Wubian narrowed his eyes, turning from anger to laughter.

Then he actually got down from the chair, with his arms wide open, his legs spread wide, and he took the arrogant steps of a crab.

Really mentally ill, moody ah.

But this is his proud work, because he is the originator of this crab walk, he used to walk like this all day long.

It's just that since he got sick, he didn't dare to walk, and he walked with his buttocks clamped, feeling that he had lost his soul when walking.

Now take the Bawang step again, although it is still painful, but it is also fun.

Yun Zhonghe said contemptuously: "Young Master Jing, your overlord's step is not authentic, not majestic enough!"

"Fart, I invented this crab overlord step, you say I'm not authentic?" Jing Wubian was furious: "Be careful, I will cut off your tongue and your feet."

Yun Zhonghe said contemptuously: "I'll let you see what the real Bawangbu is."

Then, Yun Zhonghe tossed the beggar's rags and robes, and used the hall as a catwalk.

"This is the soul-stirring beauty step."

Yun Zhonghe pinched his waist with his palm, swaying gracefully, he walked first with a charming model step,

Also known as a cat walk. And it's a model walk specially for women. Without high heels, he walks on tiptoe.

It was a coquettish walk, as if it was really in Milan Fashion Week.

Suddenly, everyone was stunned.

This... this beggar, is he so coquettish?

After walking to the end of the hall with a coquettish model catwalk, she turned her head abruptly.

"Next, start to take the real overlord step. The soundtrack sounds."

The crane in the cloud began to sing cheerful songs, matching the BGM for his Overlord Step.

"I want to be willful and I will be willful

I want to be stubborn and I can be stubborn too

see what you can do to me

I don't want to hesitate, I don't hesitate

I don't think I'm lost, I'm not lost

What could be more inflated than this”

Just like that, Yun Zhonghe also sang and swaggered, walking out of the most authentic step of the six relatives denying the crab.

That effect was even cheaper than Shen Teng in "The Richest Man in Xihong City".

After walking, Yun Zhonghe flicked his thatched long hair, and even cast a wink at Leng Bi.

I... Fuck!

Everyone in the audience was shocked again, as silent as watching a clown.

Only Jing Wubian was out of breath laughing, and only two psychopaths were laughing at themselves.

It's true that neurotic children have a lot of fun. He sees Yun Zhonghe more and more interesting, and more and more eye-catching.

At this moment, he was really happy, clapping his hands high, revealing the wound on his wrist, several wounds, the latest one was still fresh.

The wound he cut his wrist by suicide can be seen deep into the bone.

……………………

Note: I, Pastry, beg for referral tickets! Gentlemen, give me a few photos!

Now the new book list still depends on rewards, brothers who have spare capacity can support some, don't force it, don't force it, thank you a thousand times, I am very grateful if I can give a recommendation ticket.