Diablo Destruction

Outside the door, two heads poked their eyes through the crack in the door.

"I always feel that Brother Wu's current appearance seems a bit strange."

Linya looked worried as she looked at someone who had completely fallen into a blackened state and was pounding some powder into a bowl.

"Meow!!"

Seeing someone suddenly take out a few mushrooms, throw them into a bowl, and pound them like an old witch wearing a black robe and hat, Fini suddenly let out a soft cry.

"Cousin, you have become scarier than usual, meow!"

"what is that?"

Although Linya is knowledgeable, the psychedelic mushrooms in Kurast are very rare, and adventurers generally rarely pick mushrooms. Therefore, except for Feini and a few people around me, I am afraid that few people know about it, at least. I haven't seen any introduction to it in Kane's book.

I can’t tell if the name psychedelic mushrooms was chosen by Feeney without permission.

"That is……"

Feeney shook her head, her dark eyes showing fear.

"who?"

No matter how focused I was, there were two kittens chirping outside the door, and I couldn't pretend I didn't hear them.

The door opened with a bang, and Linya and Feini walked in one after another.

"By the way, Brother Wu, where is the artifact? Is Brother Wu the destined one?"

Linya was caught red-faced like a cowering kitten, and she didn't know what to say. When she subconsciously said it, she immediately regretted it.

I'm such a clumsy fool. Seeing Brother Wu acting like this, I must have failed to find the artifact.

However, what she didn't expect was. The other party actually nodded.

"found it."

I continued to pound the crumbs in the bowl expressionlessly, pounding them hard...

"real?"

The expressions on the faces of the two people were very wonderful.

"Here, if you don't believe me, take it and have a look."

I took out the wooden box and threw it to Feini. As for why I threw it to her...

"Otherwise, let's close the curtains first."

Feini's predecessor is worthy of being a veteran, although she is more tempted and curious about the artifact than Linya. But she resisted opening the lid of the box. She knew that wealth should not be revealed. If there was really an artifact inside, the colorful light would probably immediately attract the prying eyes of adventurers outside.

"There's no need, just open it."

I didn't look back, focusing on the powder in the bowl.

Feini was stunned for a moment, but after changing her job as a transvestite, her landlordism was gone. She has completely become a receptive person, so after listening to my words, she did not refute, but opened the lid of the box obediently.

Colorful rays of light suddenly burst out from the box, illuminating her face as white as snow.

This intense burst of colorful light. At the same time, it also passed through the window, shining out like a pilot light, attracting side glances from the adventurers on the street.

The expressions of these adventurers were very strange, and they were shocked at first. Then he was surprised, then admired. After it was over, he couldn't help but laugh, and his eyes showed good-natured gloating.

In my ears, I first heard the exclamations of Linya and Feini, and then after a while, I counted the reaction time. I put down the bowl and pounder and covered my ears.

The next moment, a woman's unique high-pitched scream sounded.

With a "pop" sound, the wooden box was thrown to the ground by Feini. She looked at me with a look on her face that was about to cry.

"This...what on earth is this, meow?"

Linya next to her was already as shy as a red apple. If there was a hole in front of her, she would probably dig into it immediately. This is the so-called artifact. It turned out to be a man's...underwear, and it had...

"It's an artifact. Do you want it?"

I replied matter-of-factly, and then looked at Fini with a hopeful look on my face - you're welcome, just take it.

"No, no, no, even if you kill me, you won't, meow!"

This transvestite immediately jingled the beautiful bell on her neck, as if she was afraid that I would force the magic panties onto her.

At this time, she also vaguely guessed why I came back with an angry face and why I was tinkering with the powder.

“Done!!”

Shake the pounded powder into the fruit wine, I clapped my hands and washed all the residue on my hands, but I couldn't eat any of this stuff.

"I'll go out first. You guys stay here and don't run around."

With these words, I put away the fruit wine and artifact underwear, and ran out with a bang. Linya and Feini looked at the far away figure and both showed a wry smile. They were smart and had completely guessed that I was now the goal of.

Bloody Mary Bar, under the fearful eyes of the maid, I kicked open the thick bar door and was about to attack...

"Tula……"

"boom--"

A loud sound like a tide completely drowned out my voice. The sound was so loud that even the sky above the entire demon fortress seemed to reverberate.

This...what's going on?

I was stunned by this huge change for a moment, and even forgot about the attack.

After reacting, I realized that the huge sound was the cheers and applause of the adventurers in the entire bar.

Looking around inside, I found that there were about a few hundred adventurers. Among them, Oscar and his two followers, whom I knew, and even Latin, who had transferred to Feini's tail demon, also appeared among them, with expressions on their faces. Although he was still indifferent, the applause was unambiguous at all. When he saw me looking over, he raised the corners of his handsome and cold lips and nodded.

Khan, he must have regarded me as a cousin.

In addition, there are the old liar Tualatin who deceived me miserably, the barbarian Garner, the druid Hanga Kelai who stood on my other side during the hunting activity, and several other mercenaries. All the adventurers I know from the Demon Fortress are here.

Of course, there are more adventurers I don’t know. But the smiles on the unfamiliar faces were still sincere, the applause was still enthusiastic, and the joyful atmosphere of celebration made this wave last forever.

"Congratulations, Master Wu Fan."

"Congratulations, brother Wu Fan."

"Congratulations, brother Wu Fan."

"Congratulations. Human warrior."

From the familiar mercenaries, the barbarian Garner, Oscar and the others, and from the mouths of Tualatin, sincere congratulations came out.

"Congratulations, warrior!"

Those strange adventurers also kept applauding like one wave after another. His eyes showed the most sincere recognition and respect.

This...what's going on?

For a moment, my mind was buzzing, and all that was left was the word congratulations, which kept swelling inside.

Why is this scene so similar to the ending shot of a certain runaway machine? Are we going to ge?

"wait wait wait!"

I covered my forehead with a headache. He stretched out his hand to interrupt everyone's congratulations.

"Well, anyway, thank you all in advance, but can anyone tell me. What is going on?"

I pointed to the layout of the lights and colorful decorations inside the bar. The last time I came here, the bar had a bloody and cold atmosphere, but now it is as gorgeous as a wedding venue.

"Can't you tell? Of course I'm celebrating your triumphant return!"

Oscar came up to me and gave me a big hug, of course, with his awesome strength, it wasn't so much a hug. It's better to say bear hug, nnd, his bones were almost broken by him.

"Triumph?"

I don’t understand a bit, how can I put these two words on my head, buy myself a pair of underwear with poop on it, and then return in triumph?

"I knew you were confused, just listen to me."

While I was grinning, Oscar kept laughing and patting me on the shoulder. For the truth. I'll endure it first!

It turns out that the cave is in the eyes of the adventurers of the Demon Fortress. It was not a secret at all, and it was only me, the pink and tender newcomer who had just arrived, who was fooled.

I don’t know how many years ago, this cave was called the Trial of the Brave. Just like the literal meaning, it was a place where only real warriors dared to break into. At that time, drunken adventurers in the bar, the most popular action And the language is: one foot on the table, face flushed, and pointing at the other party with pride.

"Okay, I'll go and have a look right now to show you!!"

And then gone forever.

Ahem, just kidding, adventurers are not fools. It is important to advance when faced with difficulties, but retreating when faced with difficulties is also a skill. You will not run to fight to the death knowing that you are defeated.

Because the difficulty inside is too great, sometimes for several years, a group of adventurers may not be able to reach the depths of the trial cave and obtain the title of warrior. Therefore, they can break into the depths and even have the ability to hang around inside. The adventurer also seems particularly admirable.

Why is Oscar, a loudmouth, so respected in the Demon Fortress? Just because his team once passed the trial and won the title of warrior.

By the way, Oscar broke through three years ago. The pair of underwear I have on hand was put in by him himself. By the way, the artifact he got back then was a piece of cotton stained with blood...

As for why the Brave Trial of the past turned into today's artifact scam, we have to start with Tualatin, an old liar. I don't know how many years ago, ahem, what I said is correct. Even though Tualatin is a dwarf, he He is already over a hundred years old this year, which is old enough to be my great-grandfather.

I don’t know how many years ago, Tualatin ran away from the dwarves and accidentally learned that the Demon Fortress had such fun things as the Trial of the Brave. He was suddenly inspired and went back to his blacksmith shop without saying anything. , the next day, I secretly held a meeting with several adventurer leaders in the Demon Fortress.

A shocking scam was completed in this way, and it enveloped the young and ignorant newcomers who had just arrived at the Demon Fortress.

Of course, not everyone can cheat. If you want to cheat, you must have the qualifications. Those mercenaries and adventurers of average level will be informed early, and they will not try to seize this title without overestimating their capabilities. .

As for those newcomers who have just arrived at the Demon Fortress and are strong, all the adventurers in the Demon Fortress will invariably keep silent and wait for these newcomers for a year or two. It was decided by several leaders of the Demon Fortress adventurers that the conspiracy would be spread.

If you want to blame, you can only blame me for being so popular in the hunting activity just after I arrived at the Demon Fortress, and the person I was competing against, Oscar, happened to be one of those leaders.

The reason for all the trouble is actually just four words: to entertain oneself. This is the adventurer's unique way of humor. Just like when I first met the old alcoholic Kasha, she tried to trick me into killing Blood Crow with a Warrior of the Year medal.

"I rely on you!!"

After listening, I gave Oscar and the others a big middle finger, saying that I had gained honor and respect, but I think these adventurers are the happiest, just like celebrating the New Year, I said Is it so difficult to have fun and celebrate? Wouldn’t it be enough to just set any day of the month as the Adventurer’s Celebration Day?

"How did you know that I was at the deepest point?" I couldn't help but ask while holding my breath.

"That's not easy. I'll know it when I see you storming out of the teleportation station." Oscar laughed.

"Also, I heard that someone's hotel room was glowing with colorful lights just now. Hey. It's really enviable, it's a magical artifact!"

The old boy Tualatin came over holding a big wooden cup and shaking his head.

angry! If you don't show up, I will forget to settle accounts with you.

Seeing him look triumphant. I suddenly felt angry and evil in my heart. Seeing his old face reminded me of that pair of underwear with yellow spots on it.

"Qicai your sister, you old liar!"

I roared angrily, took out the underwear from the box, held up the pants and pulled them over his head, and then tied them up.

The poor little man suddenly whined and struggled. He was dancing, pouring all the ale in his hand on his head, and desperately pulling on the underwear on his head, but even though it was just a shoddy artifact, it couldn't be torn so easily.

"Hahaha--"

Seeing Tualatin, who was less than four feet tall and struggling back and forth with a pair of colorful trousers on his big head, the adventurers in the bar suddenly burst into laughter. It was considered that this guy was doing his own evil. No longer alive.

It was hard to pull off the panties. Throwing it to the ground, Tualatin quickly started bah bah bah.

"Grandpa's. I am a great person. I specially got some real stuff in the toilet to paint it on in order to make it look realistic. You bastard actually put it on my head."

Having said that, he twisted his short and thick body and was about to rush over to fight me. Unexpectedly, he was grabbed from behind while he was still in the air and hung in the air like a turtle. Tualatin turned around and glanced at me. Look, it is an Oscar that is more than twice as high as it.

"Lao Tu, just forget it. Brother Wu Fan was also deceived quite a lot. If you want to settle the score, you have to include the piece of cotton I had back then."

Saying this, Oscar seemed to have recalled something. His teeth suddenly chattered and his bull's eyes widened. He spoke a stubborn "no" from Tualatin's mouth full of hope, and then immediately made a black move. expectations.

Although the dwarf is known for his bad temper and stubborn character, he also knows that public anger is hard to offend. If he really continues to have a bad temper when faced with this kind of answer that is obviously looking for a beating, then he is not being stubborn, but being stupid.

"Well, for Oscar's sake, let's forget it this time."

The short winter melon said angrily, which made me roll my eyes. If Oscar hadn't stopped me, I would have made your head a few centimeters taller.

"Come, come, let's have a drink and celebrate the birth of our new warrior!"

Oscar raised the wooden cup, and the cold ale inside immediately splashed out. Then he handed the ale to me, picked up another full wooden cup, and blinked to signal me, the master, to take action.

The scene was quiet for a moment, with pairs of hot eyes watching my every move. When I raised the ale in my hand high and shouted a toast...

They cheered immediately and poured the whole glass of ale into their mouths. The foam dripped down their lips and continued to flow down their necks and strong chests. There were several heroic female Amazons inside, which invaded their towering cleavage. , slightly soaking the bra with wine foam, which immediately made the outline of their beautiful breasts clearly visible, adding a few ripples to their passion.

"Don't be angry, Brother Wu. You should put in what Lao Tu gave you. Think about it, it will be your turn to deceive those pink newcomers next time."

Oscar held my shoulders and whispered in my ear with a sinister smile.

"That makes sense, that makes sense!"

I suddenly realized that the remaining depression in my heart immediately dissipated. This is how things turn, huh huh. Kurast, I know quite a few elite adventure teams who are about to challenge Mephisto. Who should I lie to?

"Brother Wu, I should thank you!"

While he was thinking about it, Oscar's sincere voice suddenly sounded.

"what are you saying?"

I looked at Oscar, who looked at me sincerely, with a look that said your brain was going to be broken.

He was not angry, but nodded and told me to look over there, where hundreds of adventurers were rejoicing, drinking and bragging to each other. Celebrate the birth of a new warrior.

"The Demon Fortress is always lifeless. I haven't seen such a lively scene for a long time. This is all caused by you."

He patted me on the shoulder, not with the prankish force he used before, but with a solemn one. Like an elder encouraging a younger one, a gentle pat.

"You are a hero!" He said to me with a thumbs up.

I looked at Oscar blankly, as if it was the first day I met him.

"I can't tell, but you really have the demeanor of an adventurer now."

"You only know now?"

He grinned. That serious smile didn't last ten seconds before his true colors were revealed. Then he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into the pile of adventurers.

"Come on, come on, how can you drink your own drink and let our protagonist today be left out? Let's introduce each other and cheer for our new hero..."

After an unknown amount of time, the bar gradually became quiet. The drunken adventurers supported each other's shoulders, with the smell of alcohol in their mouths and noses. Each of them had an unfinished look on their face, and after saying hello to us inarticulately, they left the bar. Some of them were really drunk, so they just left. Lie directly on the table. On the bench. He even slipped to the floor and fell asleep.

But originally. I, the lightest drinker and the protagonist of the celebration party who should have drunk the most, only turned slightly red. It’s not that I have practiced some magic to force the alcohol out of the body. The situation is like this...

"Come, our heroic brother, I want to toast you a drink. I have to drink it all in one go." A tall and charming Amazon sister pressed her towering breasts over, holding a full cup of ale in her hand, and exhaled like a blue. said.

"Brother Wu is the protagonist of this celebration. He doesn't drink much. He can't get drunk first. I'll pay you back on his behalf." Oscar on the side stood up and drank a full glass of ale openly, and then exhaled with a satisfied breath. .

"Brother, I admire you. Come on, have a drink, and we will be brothers from now on."

A tall and powerful paladin, practicing drunken martial arts and walking on seven-star steps, staggered over with a cup in hand. Before he could get close, a strong smell of alcohol hit him.

"The human warriors are the place for this celebration..."

Oscar was about to stand up again, but was overtaken by the dwarf alcoholic Tualatin on the other side. He said the same words and drank the wine with a victorious smile on his face.

That's it. In the end, most of the wine that was supposed to be given to me was snatched away by these two drunkards. It just so happened that Zhou Yu gave me a yellow lid. You and I agreed, and everyone was happy.

Seeing Tualatin lying on his back with a belly bigger than that of a pregnant woman, I suddenly thought of a question.

"By the way, um, I'd better call you Lao Tu. Lao Tu, the thing you gave me is called Doug's saliva corner. How do you know Doug?"

"Doug...Doug, who is Doug? I...don't know him."

Tualatin was probably really drunk, he responded incoherently, and as if he suddenly remembered something, he clapped his hands.

"Oh...Doug, I remember, it's Doug."

After Tualatin explained it, I got a ridiculous answer.

It turned out that the two people didn't know each other at all, but Tualatin once accidentally overheard such gossip in a bar. Among the barbarians, there was a guy named Doug. That's all.

So that's it, I thought there was some ulterior relationship between these two... ahem, secret.

In fact, some things are originally very simple, but people's inertial thinking complicates them.

"Ahem..."

Seeing two drunk men, one big and one small, with obvious differences in sex, lying on the ground, I coughed a few times. The highlight of the day was finally here.

"Originally, I was very angry today and wanted to give you some trouble..."

As I said that, I took out the jar of elven special fruit wine.

"There is a lot of intestinal cleansing fruit powder in it..."

Intestinal cleansing fruit, as the name suggests, is a special medicine that can cause diarrhea when adventurers take it. However, adventurers often take a small amount to cleanse the stomach and increase appetite, especially barbarians...

"For now, let's forget it." After saying that, I was ready to fall.

"etc!!"

Seeing that a jar of precious fruit wine was about to disappear to the ground, Tualatin and Oscar were no longer dizzy or drunk, and they could speak fluently.

"It's our fault that brother Wu has been wronged. We accept this punishment. Bring me the wine." Oscar said this, as if if you don't bring it over and let me be punished, you are looking down on my seriousness.

"That's right! It's all my old pictures, isn't it? Human being, if you don't let me drink this poisonous wine today, you just look down on my old pictures." The dwarf prince also changed his wretched image and became righteous.

"Okay, drink less, just think of it as cleaning up the accumulated food." I hesitated for a while, and finally reluctantly handed over the wine and ordered kindly.

"We have our own limits on this punishment. Brother Wu, you should go first." Oscar, who had long hands and long legs, took the fruit wine first, his mouth tilted with joy, but he forcibly held it back, showing an awkward look that didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

You were going first, so I rolled my eyes, burped with a red face, knocked on the door and left drunkenly.

"Hehe~~Brother Wu probably doesn't know that there is an antidote to the intestinal cleansing fruit."

After it was confirmed that the figure had really left, Oscar's regretful expression suddenly changed faster than his face, and turned into a treacherous smile.

"Hey, I happen to have the antidote." Tualatin still had a lewd smile on his face.

The two of them carefully poured the antidote in and shook it evenly. Oscar took out two cups and filled them up.

"Cheers, this is a victory for the smart." He raised his glass.

"Hehe, let's do the same thing. Although that kid is naughty, he is still a bit young after all." Tualatin raised the wine glass.

Then, the two couldn't wait to drink it in one gulp.

"Come on, keep filling up. I won't come back until I'm drunk today..."

The next day, all kinds of gossip spread in the bar. Oscar and Tualatin, the veterans of the Demon Fortress, had convulsions in the Bloody Mary bar, ran to the street to perform stripteases, and were immoral. In the end, they were subdued by the guards and imprisoned for three days. As a punishment...