When My Enemies Began to Regret

31. So

It was the next day.

“Ugh…”

She felt nauseous inside. A hazy-fog-like sensation filled her head, and her arms tingled to the point she gritted his teeth. When Fanora opened her eyes in unbearable pain, it was already morning.

“Why is this so painful…”

But even if she opened her eyes, she couldn’t get up immediately. Her body felt heavy and feverish from earlier. If she continued pushing herself like now, it felt like a more serious illness would strike her.

So dizzy. She checked her surroundings while buried in the bed. This was the room where the patient was laid. Across the aisle was the doctor’s room, so there was a faint smell of medicine in the distance.

“Ugh…”

It seemed like she had succeeded in planting trust in Vasago, but she didn’t mean to get hurt like this. Fanora slowly raised her upper body, holding onto her aching arm.

I think I succeeded in planting trust in Basago, but I didn’t mean to get hurt like this.

“Ah, you’re awake. Don’t get up alone like that. I’ll call the princess right away.”

“Yes? You don’t have to.”

“It’s okay. Princess ordered me to let her know when you wake up.”

After a while, Vasago Guelder came running at the news that she had opened her eyes. She looked at her here and there with a worried look and left the room with words telling her to lie down and rest for the time being.

The servants Vasago left behind soon brought breakfast. The first meal of the day Fanora had was a pale soup that could be considered a patient meal.

“…”

However, Fanora couldn’t even eat this pale soup. She had been feeling nauseous since earlier, and she felt like she was going to vomit if she ate something.

“Cough, cough.”

As time passed, her fever started to boil more as if the antipyretic effect she had yesterday was over. Her condition was bad. She eventually took the medicine again and laid down back in place.

“It’s burdensome when there’s someone around, so can everyone leave?”

“But, Lady Fanora…”

“Just stay near the door. I’ll call you if I need to.”

Now that she had taken the medicine, the only thing she had to do was recover. Fanora politely asked the maids around to leave, thinking that she might go back to sleep. Then the maids glanced at Fanora, and as if understanding the situation, they signaled each other to leave the room as if they couldn’t help it. The room became quiet now.

“…”

However, Fanora couldn’t sleep when she lay down. Her heart was beating loudly because of her poor physical condition. The beat was unpleasant as if it would stop at any moment.

Vasago… is it right that she genuinely cares about me? Fanora briefly recalled her thoughts about her enemy.

She had spent a lot of time with the princess. Various conversations were made to entertain the princess. Since Guelder was a family that treated their person specially, Fanora experienced kindness that would never happen again. Her life would have been fun if she had been true friends with Guelder. The Princess Guelder she experienced in this life was a good person with a confident personality, just like described in the novel.

“…”

So, Fanora once wondered what would happen if she got really attached to the princess after laughing and chatting like that.

It’s fortunate.

However, having won Vasago’s trust, she didn’t intend to stop her revenge until this moment. It wasn’t the time yet.

“…”

She had achieved several acts of revenge so far. Because of that, her life changed a lot. From stopping being bullied by Seir and ending with Naverius. The more she committed a crime in the name of revenge, the better her quality of life improved. People couldn’t treat Fanora carelessly because of her status, and now she could even defy Hanar’s will directly.

“…”

Fanora gradually became greedy. The wrath that made up her gradually subsided by a series of revenge. Above all, as her bullies were gone, she had no reason to live in the world.

…Is it right to continue like this?

So, at some point, she suddenly had a thought. Should she continue such a dangerous crime? Her life was different from her old life now. If she kept doing this, she would definitely end up at the execution site. Such thoughts filled her head.

I finally managed to have a good life.

After she finished her revenge, she decided to die in this world without any regrets. But lately, various lingering attachments have started to arise. It felt like a waste just to die like that.

My heart is getting weak.

It was probably because she was sick. Fanora thought quietly, with a faint consciousness, and closed her eyes. Before long, she fell deeply asleep.

* * *

“…”

It was a few hours later.

Carl Andras appeared in my dream.

She woke up, remembering her dream. Her dream content was about revenge, which she was worried about these days. Carl appeared disguised as a goat in her dream and said, ‘Stop getting revenge. From now on, just pursue your wholesome happiness.’

However, next to him came Aloken, dressed in a black suit, presumed to be a demon. Aloken in the dream advised against it. ‘The people who drove you to suicide are laughing and talking happily, but you just let them go? Where’s your resolution when you’re being regressed?’

What was the next content? Upon waking up, the content of the dream was quickly forgotten.

“Um…”

Fanora must have come to her senses, so she tried to rub her eyes with her left hand.

“Um?”

However, her hand didn’t move as if it had been caught by something. She opened her eyes and checked it, wondering what it was. Then she saw a mysterious black glove covering the back of her hand.

“…”

Fanora looked up and identified the person wearing black gloves. The face of a man with quiet eyes was reflected before her dim eyes.

“Aloken.”

“Yes.”

When she called in a hushed voice, the other person answered with a smile.

Half awoke, Fanora rolled her eyes briefly and lifted her upper body.

“Aloken! … Gasp?!”

Then, she gasped for breath at the tingling pain she felt in her forearm. As she gasped for a breath, Aloken clicked his tongue and laid her back down.

“It seems there’s an irresistible charm about you. To have such kind of accident.”

“Why are you here…”

“Is there any reason why I can’t come here?”

Fanora couldn’t help but be surprised. The Aloken she saw in her dream was right in front of her, so she wondered if she was still sleeping. Gradually, warmth rose from her grasped hand.

Aloken came to visit. As time passed, Aloken’s unique low voice and that crooked smile came more clearly.

“I came running to the story that you were in an accident.”

Aloken took the lead in conversation, touching Fanora’s hand as she lay down.

“But I didn’t know you were in this state, Fanora Celsius.”

“…”

“Why don’t you tell me the adventure story about how you got hurt like this?”

Fanora stared at the appearance of his and her hands overlapping but belatedly came to her senses and wriggled her hands out. Aloken let go of her hand more obedient than she thought.

“It’s not something I really want to talk about.”

“Do whatever you like. Lady Guelder has already told me everything.”

“…”

The conversation followed was plain tones, but Fanora could not take her eyes off his face even though she shuddered with fever.

“Did you really come all the way here for me?”

“Yes…”

“No, I mean, really for me… that you come all the way to Gulder Territory?”

She thought she was used to being sick. And she thought it was natural to be alone when she was sick. The sight of Aloken watching over her as if he was nursing her made her feel strange. So she couldn’t hold back the sentence that came to her mind and spat it out.

To that, Aloken replied with a nod and smiled silently.

“…”

Fanora lowered her eyes for a moment at his answer. No matter how much she changed her future, in the end, the basis of her position was the value of the name ‘the duke’s fiancee.’ What would be left if she lost her seat next to him? Still, Aloken worried about her and ran to her.

I’m really cold-hearted.

After a while, as Fanora’s body began to heat up again as if the effect of the medicine had already worn off, Aloken prepared a towel and placed it over her forehead. Fanora, who received the touch, opened her mouth in a small voice.

“I don’t know much about love.”

It was her original tone, with some sort of melancholy.

“I’m afraid of the feeling of rejection since long ago.”

“…”

“I feel like it’s an emotion I will never experience in my life.”

Aloken’s gaze turned to her. He kept silent.

“I failed to learn affection from my parents.”

Fanora changed her lying position and looked at the ceiling.

“It would be difficult for me to date you like this. I even have flaws… that would surprise you if you knew.”

“…”

“I’ve run out of benefits for you. The information I will give you for a contract extension next year is all I have.”

Fanora’s gaze fell on the other side of Aloken. Then her eyes turned into the white blanket. She didn’t have the confidence to say it while looking at his eyes.  

“And you still want to make me become your wife?” Fanora said without looking at him.

Then Aloken began to answer. She was forced to turn her head back at the words of her fiance.

“Why don’t you just be honest and don’t give so much reasoning. I’m sick of it.”

“Yes?”

“Didn’t you spew those words at me just to ridicule and belittle me?”

When she turned her head, there was Aloken with a sunken expression. He didn’t frown like usual.

“Just like you said, I once thought that I would never fall in love for the rest of my life.”

“!”

“In addition, I have this temperament to be born with. It’s not a failure of education, but a failure from birth.”

Nevertheless, Aloken looked worse than ever.

Fanora said in bewilderment. “T-this is not your story.”

“The outline is the same.”

“As I spoke, it seems like it has become similar. You can’t possibly be a failure.”

Despite her sick body, she raised her upper body.

“Just because you say it like that doesn’t mean you’re not treating me like a patient deep down, right?”

“What do you mean a patient?”

“I did my best for you all this time. But in your eyes, everything I did was the same, and it seemed like I was lacking. That’s why you’re bringing up that sad story. You’re trying to leave me because you’re unhappy being by my side.”

Aloken swept his face with his hand. “Give me a chance to correct where I went wrong. Please.”

He soon became silent, covering his eyes with his right hand. It was an unusual attitude, so Fanora ended up saying some of her inner thoughts.

“It’s not like that… I was pleased to see you doing your best.”

“!”

“I was pleased.”

She had a complicated mind. Even though she knew she shouldn’t do this, her heart thumped on its own. She liked Aloken, who treated her well. She thought it would be nice if this experience continued. But Fanora couldn’t tell if this was affection. Rather, it seemed a momentary complaint that based on her consideration.

“But I…”

While thinking about what to say, Aloken’s words left her speechless.

“I’ve come to know about love in the end, so you will surely realize it someday. Whoever it may be, you will be attracted to them.”

“…”

“But my first love is you…”

Fanora could not answer for a moment.

“Can’t I be your first love?”

That was a sudden blow to her head.