Vaudevillain

52 – Mild Panic

"I feel like that should be my line," Sweet Dream said.

Dr. Zlo looked at the chocolate villainess. "What? The whole, I am a villain?"

"Yeah. I'm the one that interrupted the fight. You didn't prompt me for it or anything."

Dr. Zlo waved a hand airily, "I knew one of you would step in without me needing to prompt you. Therefore, since I knew you would cheat, it makes me the true cheater since I didn't stop you."

"Dude, that makes no sense," Riptide commented.

"You just can't understand my genius," Dr. Zlo joked.

"Hurry up and hack the mothership already," Sweet Dream said as she moved through the crowd of downed aliens, stopping at each one to insert a small ball of chocolate.

Dr. Zlo pulled out the hacker that he'd stored in his inventory earlier. With swift taps, he activated the device. It whirred to life, counting down the time until it had completed its task.

"Ten minutes," Dr. Zlo said, staring incredulously at the timer.

"What the sh*t," cursed Sweet Dream. "That's way too long."

"Yeah dude. What's up with that?" Riptide chimed in.

Dr. Zlo tapped his cane on the ground, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Obviously the mothership's defenses are strong. We'll have to find a way to stall the others. Truly, these aliens are a more formidable foe than I expected."

Sweet Dream raised a hollow eye, the equivalent of a sarcastic eyebrow in her chocolate form. "You think? That one you fought would've taken you out if I hadn't saved you. H*ll, I bet it would've taken all of us out if we fought it normally. How'd you know it would fight you one on one anyways?"

Truthfully, Dylan hadn't known the alien would fall to his taunt. But he'd heard the words it spoke when Qurana captured them in the tractor beam room. It was classic villain ego, and no villain like that would dare take a wound to their ego. But Dr. Zlo wasn't about to admit he had gambled. "My intellect devised the perfect plan to deal with the alien as soon as I saw it."

"Dudes, getting off-topic," Riptide reminded, walking over to the end of the room to collect his surfboard. "We have to hold out for ten minutes. I don't think we have that much time."

"Quite right," Dr. Zlo agreed. "We should look to block the door."

"With what?" Sweet Dream said. "The bodies of their fallen comrades?"

"Calm down. We have plenty of time before the aliens finish off the prisoner revolt."

An explosion rocked the room, staggering the villains.

Riptide turned to his friend. "Dude, you have got to stop jinxing things."

"Less complaining, more action!" Sweet Dream urged. She strode over to the control room doors, scanning for a button to seal them shut. A few moments later, she found a small switch on the side and flipped it. The open door hissed closed, sealing the villains inside.

"Great, cut off our escape," Dr. Zlo complained.

"I don't see you doing anything to help." Sweet Dream snipped.

"I'm thinking up a plan as we speak."

"Uh, dudes? I think one of the guards is waking up."

Sure enough, Qurana stood to their feet, still woozy from Sweet Dream's chocolate. They grunted as they settled into an unsteady battle stance. "You… cannot, keep," they paused to sway, "a true warrior down."

Sweet Dream stomped over and doused them with another blast of chocolate. "Okay, so my power doesn't work as well on stronger beings. Can you hurry up and think of something?"

Dr. Zlo searched around, frantically looking for anything that could help. Nothing seemed accessible. Frustrated, he pounded a fist onto the console. Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Not now, Mabel," he said after turning to see who it was. "I'm trying to think of a new grand plan. I know you want to remove your gag…" Dr. Zlo stared at his minion, "That's it! Riptide, Sweet Dream! Search for a set of keys on the guards. One of them must have the tool to unlock Mabel. If we free her, we can continue with the original plan!"

"Alright, dude," Riptide answered. He crouched down, rolling a stunned guard off their companion.

"I hope you're right about this," Sweet Dream muttered, following suit with Qurana.

The two villains stripped the surrounding guards of anything on their person. Batons and other gadgets clattered on a heap in the ground, forming small piles. Dr. Zlo grabbed a few of the more interesting devices, intent on discovering what they did later.

"I should make an analyzer," He said to himself. Something that worked like his power, but listed the material components for creation. Then he could reverse engineer some of the cooler machines, like the three-legged mech walkers down below.

"Found something!" Sweet Dream called. Dr. Zlo turned to look, seeing a cross-shaped stick that resembled the opening on the back of Mabel's gag.

He swiped it out of Sweet Dream's hands and inserted the key into the gag device. A quick turn to the left produced a soft click, unlocking the muzzle. Dr. Zlo snatched it off Mabel's face and stored it into his inventory. The gag could be another item that might be useful later on.

"Oh, thank heavens," Mabel said as the gag fell off, "I was beginning to think you'd leave it on me, Zlo hon. Not that I wouldn't mind a bit of that now and then. But make sure you warn a gal first."

"Of course not Mabel, but we don't have time for talk. I need you to take control of that alien when it wakes up." Dr. Zlo pointed to Qurana, still knocked out from Sweet Dream's chocolate. Signs of waking were starting to show on the alien's face.

"Sure, dear."

"Isn't it the vice-captain?" Sweet Dream asked. "I doubt it has the authority to order all the aliens off the mothership."

"But it can call the captain up," Dr. Zlo replied.

"I don't need, the captain, to defeat you," Quarana said, words pausing as they went from lying on the ground to their knees, and finally to their feet.

"Oh, sweetie, you need to relax. Don't worry. Momma will take care of you."

Qurana stiffened, "how? The Quli have protection against this." A glint of metal caught their eye, causing Qurana to glance downward. Piles of technology sat before them, and the alien understood.

"No…," they said, fighting for a few moments against the mind control. But in the end, the vice-captain of the mothership relaxed, their will under Mabel's control.

"That's right dear, let Momma help you out." Momma Mabel looked at Dr. Zlo, "what do you need them to do hon?"

"Get them to call up the captain," Dr. Zlo replied. "We need him to enact the plan."

"You heard him, dear. Would you kindly call up the captain for us?"

Qurana's hand lifted to their ear, activated the internal communicator every Quli held. "Captain, I need you at the bridge."

Static crackled in the alien's ear, and soon a voice affirmed the request, "Understood, we're almost done cleaning up the prisoners. ETA is one minute, two tops." Qurana brought their hand down from their ear.

"Is the captain coming?" asked Sweet Dream.

Mabel relayed the question to her thrall.

"One to two minutes," Qurana answered.

"Excellent," cackled Dr. Zlo. He brought his hands together, fingers tapping against each other while his cane dangled awkwardly between his palms.

"We need to ambush them," Sweet Dream said. "Remember, they have some sort of headband that blocks mind control."

"Right, the four of you stack up beside the door. I'm going to do what I do best."

"And what's that?"

Dr. Zlo grabbed his cane, spinning on his heels, "Attract attention!"

_________________________________________________________________________

Down in the Kirby Reserve, Dextra Black lounged in a high-backed leather chair of immeasurable quality. The mild-mannered businesswoman was no longer around, in their place a ruthless supervillain bent on taking the city.

"Now, this is the type of chair a villain needs, don't you think? Mr. Mayor."

The mayor growled.

"Oh, come now, no need to be harsh. Though, to be honest, I expected more from you. Your son is a super, after all. What a shame to leave his father with nothing to protect himself." Dextra reached for a glass set on the desk in front of them and took a sip. A second glass rested sideways, its spilled contents dripping down the side of the sturdy oak top.

They looked over at the mayor, now one of Dextra's mutated creations. They hadn't expected the serum to take effect, which was why they had slipped it into the mayor's drink. It was Dextra's way of testing if the mayor had powers. After all, the serum didn't work on anyone super. The mayor's turning had been an unexpected boon.

The mayor growled again, pointing a nose at some invisible enemy only they could see. Dextra stood, glass in hand, and walked over to the mutant. They bent down to pet their newest creation, "Oh come now, no more growling. We don't want anyone passing by getting curious."

The mayor's growl shifted to a low purr as Dextra scratched behind his ears. "That's better," they cooed.

Once calmed, Dextra walked back to the desk and pulled out their communicator. "Everyone, I am in position. Start the operation."

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