Vaudevillain

48 – Don’t Jinx It

Dr. Zlo and his entourage walked deeper into the invaded portion of Haven City, escorted by the mind-controlled Quli. The farther in they went, the more Dr. Zlo saw specialized alien troops. At first, the aliens were familiar, Quli carrying riot forceshields and two-legged mechs. But the closer they went to the mothership, the more varied the aliens became.

Dr. Zlo noticed aliens with long rifles on top of buildings. They were a sniper of some sort. He walked by another Quli carrying a much larger gun. Dr. Zlo decided it was either a grenade launcher or a machine gun of some sort. Briefly, he considered having Mabel drop the control on a few to capture these new types, but doing that would likely ruin the entire plan. No, better to keep what he had.

The entourage moved through the aliens uninterrupted until they reached a checkpoint halfway to the spaceship. The road ahead had been cordoned off by barriers of the same brown material as the wall. A shield of force blocked the spaces between each obstacle. Two Quli in light-blue uniforms stood at the entrance and exit, flanked on each side by a three-legged mech walker. A barrier of force also blocked the way forward, ensuring nothing could pass through with permission.

Unfazed, the mind-controlled Quli escorted Dr. Zlo and his group forward. The guard put up a hand to halt them, and Mabel quickly uttered a command to stop.

"State your business," A Quli guard said, looming over the controlled aliens with the steely gaze only the military has.

"Transporting prisoners," The lead Quli answered.

The guard glanced at a holographic clipboard on his wrist, "I was not informed of this." The two mechs rose from their sitting position to point guns straight at everyone. "Who authorized this?"

While controlled, the Quli were rather simple creatures. They could take commands, but creative thinking was inactive. Thus, the alien responding to the guard only stood silent.

The weapons on the mechs started to glow. "Answer me, soldier," the guard commanded.

Thinking fast, Dr. Zlo whispered to Mabel, "we'll create a distraction for you to give new commands."

Mabel nodded. Dr. Zlo edged over to Riptide, "you and I are going to cause some chaos for a second."

"H*ll yeah!" shouted Riptide. "I was getting tired of this anyways." Riptide lunged out at a guard. "Come here, you orange b*stard. Let me sink my teeth into you!" The player snapped his jaws closed with a snap, which had the effect of doing absolutely nothing as his mouth sat hidden behind his mask.

"Quite!" Dr. Zlo said, playing along. "I was going to be civil, seeing as I had been captured for my genius, but if you plan to treat me like this, I cannot stay silent. Unhand me!" Dr. Zlo dove into another of the mind-controlled guards.

The attacked aliens fell to the ground, but Mabel had gotten a few orders out to the others, and they made sure to grab onto the two villains before they broke through.  Cries of, "Hold him!" and "Watch out!" echoed around for a few seconds as the Quli subdued Dr. Zlo and Riptide.

"As you can see, these are important prisoners. The commander on the wall captured these six as they assaulted the wall. Somehow, one of them had created their own versions of our equipment. The commander wanted to make sure we gained all the knowledge he had."

The guardsman squinted. "And the commander's name?"

"He did not give it to me. He was fighting at the wall when he gave us our orders. A large bear had broken through the first defense, and he jumped forward to hold the line."

The Quli guard stared at the speaker, trying to glean any information from the mind-controlled alien's face. Seeing nothing in the blank gaze, he agreed, "Alright, but I'm having one of the mechs escort you. Just in case the attackers get farther in than expected."

The controlled Quli nodded in agreement. Turning around, the guardsman tapped a quick code into a pad next to the barrier. The forcefield dissipated, and the group was ushered through. After they crossed, one of the mechs stepped over the brown boundaries and followed behind. Dr. Zlo noticed its weapon still ran hot and sat aimed directly at the group.

The area past the checkpoint opened up into the less crowded area of the government district. While before, Dr. Zlo walked through a maze of buildings and streets, this area held open fields and more whitewashed buildings. Four-legged mechs trekked across the fields while squads of Quli patrolled on sidewalks. The mind-controlled Quli skirted around the grounds, walking towards a white marble building.

Dr. Zlo looked up again at the looming mothership. He was almost there. A little longer and the tractor beam would be in front of them. In the distance, Dr. Zlo noticed a final checkpoint built around the entrance to the spaceship. Turret emplacements and aliens in some sort of power suit were all that stood between him and his prize.

Dylan was amazed he had gotten this far without any issues. The idea of using mind-controlled minions worked better than expected. He assumed something would have gone wrong long before he reached this point. It wasn't like he could find every single countermeasure the aliens came up with.

The sound of crunching metal and a boisterous voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"Halt right there, you alien adversary! Unhand those prisoners!"

Dr. Zlo turned in bewilderment. He knew that voice. Granted, it had been a while since he heard it, but there was no way he could forget the over-the-top voice of Wonderman.

"What in the name of all that is evil are you doing here?" he asked.

"Fear not villain! Today, we fight as allies against the intimidatory threat of these injurious invaders."

"Wow, he really stretched for that one," Sweet Dream said.

"Dude, I love this guy," Riptide replied.

Dylan cursed inwardly. He had jinxed the plan. The wreckage of several mechs sat behind Wonderman, and heroes of all shapes and sizes zipped around the battlefield, engaging the aliens. Rays of frost, punches of steel, and other superpowers wreaked havoc on the surviving aliens.

Dr. Zlo couldn't help but ask, "how did you get past all the defenses?"

"It was thanks to you," another hero said. Dr. Zlo recognized them as Stonewall. It seemed someone had changed him back into a male. Most likely, the developers turned the hero back during the patch.

"Quite right, Stonewall! With the villainous army distracting the aliens, we were able to charge forward and pierce into the heart of this entrenched encampment." Wonderman settled into a stance, "now, fear not! I shall soon free you from your precarious perdicament!"

Sweet Dream leaned over to Riptide. "He means predicament, right?"

"I think so? But this is bad, dude. Zlo, what should we do?"

"We were so close," Dr. Zlo hissed. "The plan was perfect. How could I have known that heroes would appear to help. That's ridiculous. Heroes don't help the villains."

"Well, we better think of something fast," Sweet Dream said. "Can we get to the tractor beam in time?"

"Maybe," Dr. Zlon answered. He turned to Mabel and whispered, "get the aliens to take us inside."

"Sure, hon. Boys, would you be so kind as to escort my friends and I to the tractor beam?"

The Quli marched off, escorting everyone to the tractor beam.

Wonderman jumped forward, "halt aliens! Release the prisoners!"

"I would never accept help from a hero!" yelled Dr. Zlo. "I would rather have the aliens take me!"

Dr. Zlo started to run, almost pushing through the aliens. Mabel quickly directed half her troops to engage Wonderman. At the same time, the other half joined Dr. Zlo in his sprint towards the mothership. The three-legged mech joined in on attacking Wonderman, seeing the heroes as the more substantial threat. Riptide and Sweet Dream caught on as well, rushing ahead to escape the hero's rescue. Cass took a bit longer but soon noticed his boss getting away from him.

"Wait for me!" he called.

Riptide shouted over his shoulder, "Jaws, slow the heroes down!"

The minion growled in assent and jumped into the fight between Wonderman and the Quli. He snapped at Wonderman's face with his powerful jaws. Wonderman grabbed Jaws's mouth to hold him back, somehow struggling with the minion despite his super strength.

"Girl Wonder, Boy Wonder! One of you hand me the shark repellant Wonder spray!"

Out of the crowd of heroes sailed a small spray bottle. In one swipe, Wonderman caught the canister and popped off the cap. After a quick shake, he brought the bottle up to Jaws and pressed down on the nozzle. A fine mist filled the air around the minion.

Jaws's eyes widened, his pupils dilated, and his jaw relaxed. With a small tap, Wonderman pushed Jaws away. The minion crashed to the ground, a blissful smile on his face.

"Shark repellant, never leave home without it," Wonderman said.

But the distraction had given Dr. Zlo and his crew enough time to reach the tractor beam.

"No!" Wonderman shouted. He leaped at Dr. Zlo, zipping through the air in seconds. An alien in a power suit jumped to meet him, clashing in midair and creating a shockwave of force. The two exchanged blows, each strike sending blasts of air outward.

"Get us up there, Mabel," Dr. Zlo urged.

"Patience, hon. Boys, would you kindly beam us up?"

Nodding, an alien grabbed at each villain and, at the same time, pressed a button located on their belt. The tractor beam activated, pulling Dr. Zlo and the rest inside.

"Ahahahaha!" laughed Dr. Zlo. Sweet Dream punched him on the shoulder. "Ow! What?"

"No gloating until we have the ship. You aren't ruining this for me."

"Bah, you worry too much. Now that we're inside, our victory is assured!"

The group landed in the mothership, surrounded by Quli in power armor pointing weapons at them.

Riptide stared at Dr. Zlo, "dude, you just jinxed it."

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