The National Male God of System Rebirth

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In fact, depression is not just a person who looks dull, sensitive and suspicious, or loses his temper... How can it be that simple?

Once falling into depression, people will fall into a state of being different from ordinary people due to changes in hormone secretion levels in the brain environment, which will lead to organic lesions of the brain over time.

Many people take it for granted that people with depression are those who are depressed and unhappy all the time.

In fact, people who look normal and even look "sunny" can also suffer from depression.

In depression, very few people suffer from "smiling depression".

"Smiling depression" is a symptom of a small number of depressed patients. This type of patient puts a veil of smiling on the surface of their depressed mood.

"Wu" is a typical teenager with "smiling depression".

He is a child who was picked up, without any physical defects, but a child who was discarded.

So he was picked up by a woman.

Later, she became his mother.

Women don't take names for nothing, men don't allow it.

"A captive slave needs no name."

In a broken family, "Wu" who was domestically abused by a drunken gambler man since childhood was always lying in the arms of a woman with scars.

The woman always hugs him, touches his head tenderly, and tells him——

"Sorry, kid, you don't have a name."

"Son, you have to be strong."

"Son, you have to be optimistic."

"Son, you have to be brave."

...

Therefore, "Wu" knows how to be stronger than other children. He will suppress the inner pain, and force himself to be more "sunshine" externally.

And this is a serious split between internal and external manifestations.

The day when "Wu" met that girl for the first time was sunny and the breeze was not dry.

That was a different girl, "Wu" could tell, she had the same smile as him.

When the girl left, "Wu" looked at the girl's back and smiled slightly, looking very friendly, he murmured in a low voice:

"Please, you must be a weirdo too!"

"Please, you must be a weirdo too!"

The two identical words drifted away in the wind with the wind, without a sound.

That night.

In the dark room, all the painful past events poured out from the bottom of Wu's heart, and all the pains experienced jumped out from the corners.

Writhing in the mind of "nothing", looking back at my worthless past, looking at the extremely painful present, and thinking about the unknown future, it seems that I can't see any light, my life is trapped, and my body collapses , no happiness.

As Eileen Chang wrote, step by step, step into the place where there is no light.

There is a scene like this in the script -

One day "Wu" met that girl again, and the girl looked up at the sky, her voice full of longing for the future: "Then is there anything you want to do now?"

Wu smiled and replied honestly: "I just want to die."

"Don't tease me." The girl didn't take it seriously, after all, the expression on Wu's face didn't look like someone who wanted to die at all.

But what "Wu" said is true. He is alive now because he feels that his mother still needs him. She was beaten many times for him. If he doesn't treat himself well, he will be so sorry to his mother.

But he really felt that living was too tiring and boring.

He really wanted to die, and my wish was to be able to die.

So for "smiling depression patients", behind the smile you see is the despair that you think you have no cure.

"Please, you must be a weirdo too!"

This is what "nothing" said to the girl face to face.

The girl still thought that "Wu" was joking, so she patted "Wu" on the shoulder, "Then I am also a weirdo! Haha! You are so funny!"

"I hope..." The voice of "nothing" drifted in the wind, and the meaning was unclear.

"What did you say?" the girl asked happily, innocently.

Later, the girl discovered little by little her family situation and psychological depression.

This frightened the girl for a while.

Not everyone in this world will reach out to help others when they find out that they are in misfortune. More people will choose to stay away even though they will not step on it.

This is not a lie, it is the truth.

The girl discovered the symptoms of "nothing" and told her mother about her fear.

Then, the whole town knew about it.

"Wu" is still the same as before, with the same smile as ordinary people, walking alone on the small road in the suburbs, muttering to himself.

But the whole town was in panic.

The adults ordered their children to stay away from Wu, and the children ran away when they saw him.

Sometimes girls will look at "Wu" from a distance, feeling extremely self-blame and guilty in their hearts.

If it wasn't for her, things wouldn't be what they are now.

At this time, she would always receive the smile from "Wu" who turned her head, and the two words that came out of her mouth lightly: "Liar."

Agreed we're all weirdos... liars.

The girl blamed herself and felt guilty, perhaps because of this sense of guilt, she kept collecting information about depression behind her parents' back.

When filling out the university volunteer application, she chose the Department of Psychology without hesitation.

She knew that "Wu"'s parents would not give "Wu" money for medical treatment, and she did not have such an economic foundation.

"Wu" watched the liar girl leave and the parents who had just died, and it became more and more difficult to breathe.

...

The girl who left is working hard to learn about psychology and understand the diseases in this area.

When the girl returned from her studies a few years later, what she got was the news that "Wu" had left long ago.

No one in the town knew his whereabouts anymore.

The girl didn't know where Wu would go, but she remembered Wu saying that if it wasn't for her mother, his wish was to die.

And the girl learned about "Wu" from the people in the small town and learned that "Wu"'s parents had died after she left.

The girl is crying.

When she learned more about depression, she no longer feared "nothing", but felt distressed and apologetic.

The girl went to the house where "Wu" used to live to see if there was anything "Wu" left behind.

The traces of time stay on a diary.

"Meet her on the first day, please she is a weirdo like me."

"Meet her again, please she is a weirdo like me."

...

"fraud."

...

"Just took sleeping pills, while I can still hold a pen... I want to say to you: Thank you.

I seemed to see you just now, but at the last moment I realized that the world is difficult, but there is still light. "

"No" saw the books about depression thrown out by the girl's parents after the girl left.

The girl looked at the diary and burst into tears.

Another year passed, and the girl became a professional psychological counselor. Through the glass of the clinic, she seemed to see the profile of the man in her memory...