Surviving the Game as a Barbarian

I’m snoring right now.

The very image of a mighty savage, all conked out after an arduous day.

Zzzzzz!

… Um, is this a bit over the top?

I’m a little worried, but I hear laughter.

“… Really, they’re a strange race.”

I guess it went well.

I guess my racial advantage outstripped my acting skills.

The perception of barbarians as simple and stupid is quite helpful.

That’s why I stuck to my role as a barbarian, even disregarding the problem of evil spirits.

As the proverb goes, hide your dagger behind your smile[1].

As if hiding a dagger within your laughter, use the preconceived notion of your innocence as a weapon to slit the other’s stomach.

… That sounded a bit like middle school syndrome[2].

In the end, to summarize, it means that it’s better to keep your true thoughts close to your chest.

Just like now.

Zzzzzz!

Nodding off sideways, scratching my stomach as if asleep. All for the sake of realism.

Even so, I’m listening intently, paying full attention to the uncle’s movements.

If you show this much of a gap, if the other party does have some kind of scheme, he should take action soon.

Or you can just try to sleep for real.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep like this.

“Bjorn, time to change shift.”

Ah, um… Really, I didn’t even get a wink of sleep.

“Don’t relax your guard too much just because the goblins haven’t appeared till now. They are wicked and sly.”

Maybe because he has his doubts, uncle exhorts me to stand up straight during my watch, and lies down comfortably on the floor like the last time.

And in less than five minutes, he falls asleep again.

Disappointment creeps in.

He just went to sleep. What the hell have I been doing for two hours?

Shit.

Is it because I’ve met him for the first time today?

Even though I decided he was reliable, I couldn’t sleep at all.

If I had known this would happen, it would have been better to sleep alone while watching out for the goblins.

That way, I could have slept at least a little.

“Hoo…”

I’m bone-tired, dead on my feet.

And I feel even more drowsy because uncle is sleeping next to me.

Still, it’s my turn to keep watch, so I diligently concentrate my mind on chasing away the siren song of the Sandman. But suddenly, a voice breaks through my focus.

“Bjorn, get up.”

“… I didn’t sleep.”

“Say that after you wipe the drool around your mouth.”

When I rub it with the back of my hand, it really came away moist.

“So if you sleep standing up, your nose doesn’t get stuffy.”

Looks like I really did nod off.

Even if just for a short while, with only ten minutes left of my shift.

… My heart is pounding.

However, there is something that needs to be done before I can indulge in self-blame.

So I apologize frankly.

“I’m sorry.”

Not just pretending to be a barbarian, I am being serious.

Being night friends is relationship based on trade. But although he provided me a safe environment during the night, I couldn’t return the favour.

It’s natural to apologize in that case.

Even I don’t want to become the kind of person I hate the most.

“… Fortunately, there weren’t any problems while I slept, so it’s no big deal.”

“Thank you. You can sleep more if you want. I will keep watch one more time.”

“No, I can’t do that. It’s your turn, go to sleep. Give me the watch back.”

He could have blamed me, but he forgives me instead with a friendly smile.

So without further ado, I go back to my seat and squat down.

Again, sleep eludes me.

All adventurers, including uncle, are so exceptionally respectful. Is it normal to trust someone you see for the first time with your life?

Aren’t their guts a bit too great?

Whichever way you slice it, to me this all looks like a bunch of bullshit.

Because of that, I kept snoring, just like the last time.

Zzzzzzzz!

I couldn’t help it.

I’m sorry, uncle, but somehow, you’ve started to look more and more suspicious.

Zzzzzzzz!

That far too good impression of yours reminds me of a scammer.

Uncle who mentioned that there was no need to get another member.

Who didn’t even bother to say anything about the smell.

That’s already pretty good.

Just now, you didn’t blame me for sleeping on my shift.

You even refused my offered price of letting you sleep one more time.

Of course, maybe I’m just a crazy bastard, and in fact, this guy is just that kind.

But to me, kind bastards are the most suspicious.

‘It was these bastards who stabbed me in the back every time.’

If it was the old me, now would have been the right time to be vigilant.

Don’t make the same mistake twice.

If you have even the barest modicum of intelligence, that is.

Zzzzzzzz!

Wouldn’t it be better to just quit this and break up at this point?

As I was thinking that, I kept snoring.

How long had it been?

Click.

A small, but foreign sound.

Backpack buckle? Waist belt? Or the heels?

There was no way to sense where exactly the sound had come from.

However, although my head understood that, the body of a barbarian interpreted it with instinct.

Dangerous.

Is this the killing intent they talk about in martial arts?

Goosebumps broke out on my skin.

I opened my eyes at once.

“You woke up.”

Still, the old man was smiling happily.

With his two-handed hammer bathed in goblin blood and flesh, lifted high above his head.

This fucker…

Avoid!

The body that had been raised from birth as a warrior reacted far faster than my rational judgment.

I was already rolling to the side before my brain had given the command.

Crash –!

As something smashed with a loud noise just in front of my nose, I was using the recoil to quickly rise up and fix my posture.

“Eh!”

Uncle, whose surprise attack failed, had a bewildered expression on his face.

Rather than asking why, I dashed forward.

“W-, wait!”

Are you trying to make an excuse or something? You didn’t mean to? Were you playing a prank? In that case, it was indeed a little, no, really funny.

Fuck, how fucking stupid are those barbarian bastards, really?

Puff –!

The ‘Smash’ with the shield accurately hit his chin.

However, humans were different from goblins, with a much stronger physique.

The man staggered, but did not fall.

Then one more time.

Puff –!

Smash.

“Kaaaha!”

The hammer in his hands fell to the floor with a resounding thud.

His nose was already red and swollen with blood.

… Oh, are you in pain?

Most probably, but I don’t care.

Because right now I want to be a bastard who doesn’t care about that kind of thing.

So, once again—

“S-, stop! Wait, I can explain…!”

“Smash.”

The man, after getting repeatedly slugged in the face with a shield, finally fell to his knees.

In terms of the game, he was incapable of further combat.

In other words, it was now possible to hold a conversation.

“Uncle.”

“Please, I was wrong! Save me!”

Have you decided to ask for forgiveness already?

You’ve got a quick judgement, but maybe not a wise one.

Because the conversation I want right now is not about forgiveness.

“Why?”

“I, I got greedy for mana stones… I was just going to knock you out and steal them. Believe me!”

Believe you? Yeah, that won’t wash with me.

If I had such an overflowing love for humanity, I would’ve had a few more friends.

“Shield! I was going to take that shield too!”

As I slowly raised the shield, the uncle quickly added something.

This is the main reason why I don’t believe in humans.

Everyone lies so easily.

Just compounding to their tangled web of lies, without bothering to do it properly.

“Why the shield?”

“… Because the barbarians have good quality arms. I was thinking of selling it once I got back to the city.”

Obviously, most of the weapons that barbarians receive during the tutorial are comparatively expensive.

Because the weight of steel in them is significantly higher than average.

Just looking at my shield, one could tell it was made of pure steel.

But even so, killing somebody just to get this?

Well, when I think about it, it’s not completely incomprehensible.

But…

“Bullshit.”

The man was still hiding something.

“Be honest. Why?”

Just like when I was dealing with the fallen goblin, I crushed the man’s chest with my foot.

“Ugh!”

Deep fear was engraved in his eyes.

But maybe because this bastard had tried to kill me?

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel anything in particular.

The same way you know not to look into the eyes of a cow when slaughtering it…

It’s okay to just ignore it, or something like that.

As I was thinking about ending the conversation at this point, uncle called out again.

“Hea-, heart!”

“Heart?”

It was an unexpected word.

When I looked at him with eyes that demanded an explanation, uncle continued his words with a resigned expression.

“… A barbarian’s heart sells for a high price.”

“Why?”

“Well, I don’t know for sure, but they say it’s an ingredient for some new magic potion!”

“I see.”

Now I understood the motive.

I was just a goblin to this man.

Difficult to catch, but once you catch one, you can get a huge reward.

“Why did you act now instead of when I first slept?”

“… I have to sleep too.”

Oh, I see.

If possible, it’s better to both sleep and earn money.

I thought uncle was cautious, but it was just a bug from seeking extreme efficiency.

“I’ve told you everything, so please forgive me…”

“Forgive?”

To be honest, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Forgive me?

The guy who had just been about to pull out my heart and sell it as an ingredient was now saying something like that?

If I’d reacted just a little late, I wouldn’t have even gotten a chance to beg for my life.

“Please…”

Well, everybody wants to live. I should’ve known it was going to be like this. At least he had good attitude.

However.

“Uncle, it is right that you should pay the price.”

The bastards I hate the most are the ones who do whatever they like and then dodge the responsibility afterwards.

Therefore…

“I will give you everything I have! Even if I don’t have that much right now, if I can just go back to the city… “

I can’t believe you.

In that respect, what was the difference between this guy and a goblin?

I couldn’t ever be friends with a goblin, but at least with this guy there had been a chance.

Only that was different, and therefore he was worse.

Of course, this is just an emotional opinion, and I don’t make choices based on my emotions.

It doesn’t always happen, but at least I try.

“I will probably meet countless people like you in the future. They’ll all say the same thing. Then should I forgive them each time?”

Forgiveness is a very scary word.

A decision you make with a gentle heart often comes back like a dagger to stab you in the back.

I know that fact better than anyone.

So this time, too, I have no choice.

A mistake in this primordial world would not only scar my heart, but even threaten my life.

“I’m sorry, uncle. I don’t think I can do it. Because I’ve been stabbed in the back far too many times.”

“Oh, no! Absolutely not! I’m different!”

Come to think of it, the goblin said the same thing.

Well, I was just arbitrarily interpreting whatever I’d seen in his eyes, but anyway.

Then, what do you do next?

Kkkkk.

Raise the shield high with both your hands.

However, unlike the last time, it pauses for a moment.

Of course, that hesitation doesn’t last long.

As if some unknown force is pulling your arm down –

“Oh, no, please!”

I lowered the shield with all my might.

Crunch. After the sound of cracking bones, came a sullen silence.

「 Achievement complete 」

「 Condition: First kill. 」

「 Reward: Permanently increases Mind by +1. 」

I did not turn away from what I had done, and instead accepted it.

About a day had passed since I entered this game world.

I killed someone.

And what I received in return were a large hammer, shoulder pauldrons, leather boots, a compass, a knife, a pocket watch, a water bottle, a backpack, a blanket, some herbs and bandages, a potion, six days’ worth of food, and 32 rank 9 mana stones.

Editor’s Notes:

[1] 笑裏藏刀 (Chinese, lit. hide a knife behind a smile) is one of the thirty-six stratagems.

[2] 중2병 – don’t lie, we know you know what chuunibyou is.