Since The Red Moon Appeared

The voice is calm, natural, even a little gentle.

But Teacher Xiaolu was so shocked that she didn't even catch her breath. The knuckles of the hand that grabbed Lu Xin's arm were turning white because of too much force.

A huge panic enveloped her. She wanted to retract her hand, but she didn't even have the strength to retract it.

From the outside, both of them seemed calm.

Teacher Xiaolu's hand just grabbed Lu Xin's arm. Because he was too tired, he seemed to have a relaxed feeling.

Eye contact, the sun sets outside the window.

...

"It's really weird..."

Lu Xin continued to speak softly: "Those memories, I haven't remembered them for so many years, but when I remembered them, I found that everything that happened at that time was so clear, I even remember the feeling at that time. , I remember the touch when each of them died in my hands, and the expression each of them looked at me when they were dying..."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu suddenly covered her mouth with force to prevent herself from making a sound.

But her shoulders were shaking violently.

Lu Xin turned his head calmly, glanced at her, and raised his palm slightly, as if he wanted to stroke her hair.

However, he still gave up.

Just sighed softly: "But what makes me most curious is that in this memory, my own feelings, in my mind, and even when those things happened at that time, every scene clearly, recalled, like It's like walking back again."

"In that memory, I've been killing people..."

"But, I don't remember feeling remorse or pain when I killed them, I..."

"..."

"do not talk……"

Teacher Xiaolu's trembling voice suddenly sounded, her throat tightened and her body trembled violently.

There seemed to be a plea in his voice: "Please, stop talking..."

"I……"

Lu Xin hesitated and said slowly, "But I really don't know who to talk to..."

He looked at Mr. Xiaolu, there was something strange in his eyes, and said softly: "When I think of these things, I understand more things, and I know that I have experienced such things before, so I have been crazy for a long time. pass……"

"At the same time, I also understand that you are afraid of me, and that's why?"

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu's body trembled violently, she shook her head vigorously, and seemed to be choking, but she didn't answer.

"I can understand, I can really understand..."

Lu Xin repeated it twice, as if to comfort her with this sentence, and whispered: "During that time, I didn't know that you were afraid of me, probably because I didn't want to remember it, my memory was just That bloody scene came to an abrupt end, and I don't remember why I left the orphanage at the time, or how you survived with that serious injury..."

"I don't even know how I got through that period of time, and how I started going to school and work. It's like, after the incident at the orphanage, many years have passed at once, and now my clear memory is from one to the next. The rainy night began. I just finished working overtime that day, and when I was taking the subway home, I suddenly ran into you, so I greeted you with a smile..."

"..."

I don't know if Lu Xin's words have recalled Mr. Xiaolu's memories back to that rainy night.

Her body trembled violently. Although she covered her mouth, she could still see her face turning white.

Lu Xin didn't seem to see anything, but he kept all the expressions on her face in his eyes.

He was silent for a while, with deep sadness in his eyes.

However, the expression on his face was somewhat out of his control, calm, but strange.

That seems to be... a mockery?

Only the voice was unusually soft: "It's really strange that you didn't run away at that time..."

"No... not..."

The trembling came from Lu Xin's arm. It was Teacher Xiaolu's body shaking. She put down her hand covering her mouth.

His face was pale, but he was blushing unnaturally, which was a sign of unusual excitement.

She interrupted Lu Xin's words forcefully, her usually beautiful and gentle face even had a rare anger on her face.

With all his strength, he shouted loudly: "So you..."

"So everything you did later was to make up for it?"

"For so many years, you have been frugal and have been taking care of us, just to compensate?"

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu rarely showed such an expression and anger, so Lu Xin was slightly stunned.

He didn't seem to be used to it, which gave him a calm look.

He quietly looked at Teacher Xiaolu's red eyes, and said softly, "If I'm compensating, what's wrong?"

"No, not at all..."

Teacher Xiaolu shouted loudly, her hands were tightly clenched, her ears were red, she could see how hard she was, and said loudly: "I don't want your compensation, and they don't want your compensation, what you did at the time, I can never make up for it..."

These words had a kind of power, so that Lu Xin didn't know how to answer for a while.

Looking at Teacher Xiaolu's eyes, he seemed a little confused: "Then you are..."

Teacher Xiaolu's face was filled with bright tears: "All I want is that you come back..."

"I just hope that the original you..."

"return……"

"..."

This answer was beyond Lu Xin's expectations, and he even asked with difficulty: "The original me?"

"What is it like?"

"..."

"The original you is the current you..."

Mrs. Xiaolu clenched her fists so that she could speak smoothly: "I, I don't know what the hell you think of, but I, I have my own judgment, I remember when I was taken to the orphans The way I was in the hospital, I was there, and I met a bunch of weird kids like you, and I saw from the beginning that you were different from other children, each one was different..."

"They, some of them make me feel very scared, they look quiet, but they are more terrifying than the hooligans robbing people on the street."

"Only you are different. You are the quietest among those children..."

"You are very good and honest, and the older children don't play with you very much, so you seem very..."

"……Lonely!"

"I was picked up from the street. I've been hungry for many days, and I still remember the first time I saw the food. I... I could never eat enough at that time. If there is food, I will definitely grab it and put it in my mouth."

"So, I remember that I robbed a lot of people's things and was beaten by others..."

"The older kids call me crazy, and the kids are avoiding me too..."

"Only you, only you don't get angry when I robbed you..."

"Only you, when I was knocked to the ground by others, took the initiative to pull me up..."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu spoke intermittently, every word loudly, and tried her best to maintain the truth she said.

"So, so what happened later, it must not be you..."

She looked up at Lu Xin, her eyes even fierce: "It must be what those people did to you, after all, after all, I have seen you being pushed into the basement countless times, and I have seen fresh wounds on you countless times. With the eye of the needle..."

"After all, that incident happened three days after you were locked up..."

"so……"

Because of her continuous loud speech, her breath was a little uncomfortable, and she gasped a few times, and her body seemed to be collapsed.

Lu Xin hesitated, raised his hand, and patted her back softly.

When he took the first shot, Mr. Xiaolu straightened his waist violently, and his eyes seemed unusually sharp.

She looked at Lu Xin with unquestionable eyes: "I'm not afraid when I see you again."

She seemed to be announcing loudly: "I didn't!"

"I just want to know, have you come back..."

"Because, because I went through a place that I thought was the best place in the world, but found it to be a hell process, so, so I decided, I want to build such a beautiful place myself, I... I am very Stupid and useless, with your help, I can barely maintain this orphanage, but no matter what, this orphanage has been built..."

"Then, I only have one wish left, the one you used to be, the gentle and kind you..."

"still there?"

"You, are you still the same you?"

"..."

Hearing so many words from Teacher Xiaolu all at once, Lu Xin seemed to be touched by something deep in his heart.

In the calm mood, there are faint waves splashing.

He looked up and looked out the window, the setting sun was bloody, but still had a light that could hurt people.

So he closed his eyes slightly, and the long-standing memories were drawn to his eyes again. He remembered the night full of crying, screaming, and the smell of blood. He remembered that wherever he walked, there was bright red blood everywhere, and he remembered that there were bones. The sound of cracking, and the sound of the building's steel bars and cement being twisted and broken, remember the faces covered in blood, and the laughter...

This made him have a headache again, and the blood vessels at the temple were vaguely blocked and uncomfortable.

The eyes began to lose focus again, only Mr. Xiaolu's firm eyes, still looking straight at himself at this time.

She was still waiting for her answer.

She is questioning herself.

Lu Xin wanted to answer her words very much, but only felt his head was abnormally confused.

"I……"

When he opened his mouth, he realized that his voice was a little hoarse, so he closed his mouth and adjusted it.

Then he said what he thought was the most real answer: "I may, always be myself..."

"only……"

He paused, tapped his head lightly, and said, "I have a problem."

Teacher Xiaolu pursed her lips, her eyes were filled with fear and worry at the same time, but worry prevailed.

Tears were still in his eyes, but these eyes were obviously frightening.

Lu Xin didn't even want to see those eyes again.

So he slowly turned around, walked out of the room silently, and stopped when he reached the door.

"I'll try to heal myself."