Reluctantly Willing

There was a gourmet food court on the fourth floor. As it was dinner time, there were many people going in and out. An Xiaoyan saw a hot pot restaurant with instant-boiled mutton and went straight in.

Sitting at the table, he ordered the spiciest hot pot and a lot of meat, and decided he’d treat himself better.

When the meat was served, An Xiaoyan placed it directly into the spiciest hot pot and ate it once it was cooked. On the side was a bowl of vinegar, which he used to dip the meat in. It tasted spicy and sour at the same time.

The spicy and sour taste overwhelmed the numbness and sadness in his heart. The sensory stimulation made him feel much better.

He ate five plates full of meat. As soon as the fifth plate was finished, An Xiaoyan ran straight to the toilet and vomited. His stomach was not strong and could not handle such stimulating food.

The customers sitting next to him were casting strange looks at An Xiaoyan, but he did not care. After vomiting, he placed some noodles in the hot pot. After eating enough, he paid up and left.

Evenings in the summer were the coolest time. An Xiaoyan walked aimlessly in the square and saw a group of girls near him screaming. An Xiaoyan looked in the direction of their gaze and saw a wedding was being broadcasted on the screen of a tall building opposite the square.

At first, he thought it was broadcasting a TV series in the open-air, in which the male lead was proposing to the female lead.

Since he had nothing to do, he sat down on a long bench at the square to watch the soap opera.

After watching for a while, he noticed something strange. He seemed to have spotted Gu Jun’s figure on the screen!

The camera panned and the next scene was the hall. He thought he had a blurry vision. Why is Gu Jun everywhere at any time?

Looking again for a while, he saw Gu Jun again. This time he was sure it was not a mistake. He could see the headline.

Gu Jun, a young chairman, is engaged to a rich heiress.

Through the whole spectacle, An Xiaoyan sat on the long bench and watched the process unfold: From Gu Jun exchanging greetings with the businessmen in the living room, to the engagement ceremony itself.

Guo Guo was holding up Xiu Yijian’s dress behind the couple while Gu Jun took her hand and walked up to the stage together.

And those engagement vows, how perfect they sounded, wiped out the last spark in An Xiaoyan’s heart.

The final spark of hope was extinguished, and An Xiaoyan felt deeply deceived.

Since Gu Jun is planning to get married, why did he deceive me into thinking that I have the right to be loved?

Perhaps Gu Jun thought of two-timing? On one hand, he has a beautiful wife, and on the other hand, he can get along with me sweetly. This way, he can have the best of both worlds without ruining his marriage.

Men are all the same. An Xiaoyan is also a man, and he knows that.

If he did not happen to see the video, how would’ve Gu Jun tried to deceive him? Would he have come clean only when Xiu Yijian moved into the villa? Or made up an excuse to keep him at a distance as a “mistress”?

From beginning to end, he was the biggest fool.

The screen was repeating the video again and An Xiaoyan had no intention of re-watching the video. Without any hesitation, he went back to the villa.

It would be better for him to make everything clear. After all, they were people from two different worlds. Friends? Lies.

Upon returning to the villa, he could see that Gu Jun and Guo Guo were not back yet. An Xiaoyan packed up his things and put the dog and cats in the big bag he had brought along.

As soon as he stepped out, Gu Jun came back from the outside. When their eyes met, Gu Jun was smiling and about to greet him happily.

“I’m leaving.” An Xiaoyan tried to calm down his tone as much as possible.

“Is it not tomorrow’s ticket that you bought? Why are you leaving today?”

“I have something to attend to. I gotta go.” An Xiaoyan carried his big bag, weighing about fifty kilograms, the cats and the dog inside the bag were peering out to look at Gu Jun.

Gu Jun pulled An Xiaoyan back. “Let me see you off. Where are you going?”

“No, no need.” An Xiaoyan shook Gu Jun’s hand off.

Guo Guo climbed down from the car, with a small rose wreath on his head, and said to An Xiaoyan, “Uncle An, look at the wreath that Aunty gave me, is it very beautiful?”

Gu Jun’s facial expression changed and hurried Guo Guo to get into the house.

“The wreath was given to me at a dinner party, and Guo Guo felt that it looked good on him, so I brought it back.”

“Hmm.”

Gu Jun could perceive An Xiaoyan’s feelings of alienation. He was obviously fine before we left. How did he change so much now? If An Xiaoyan did not like him, why would he come from a thousand miles away?

“Xiaoyan, what’s the matter? Is there something going on that needs your immediate attention?”

An Xiaoyan did not reply but went straight ahead. Honestly, he was very disappointed with Gu Jun. He was so disappointed to see that even though Gu Jun had made a mistake, he had the cheek to ask him what had happened.

Gu Jun was also unhappy with An Xiaoyan’s indifferent attitude. It was tough on him to attend the engagement without An Xiaoyan’s knowledge. He was also tired of pretending to be in a loving relationship with Xiu Yijian.

Gu Jun shouted a few times but An Xiaoyan still did not look back. Gu Jun was anxious and went straight up to him, then held him back. The two of them tugged at each other and the big bag of pets fell to the ground. The cats and dog in the bag were scattered all over the ground, landing on the grass patch in a mess.

“What are you doing?!”

Gu Jun was stunned by the loud roar. In his impression, An Xiaoyan would only roar at him when he was very angry.

“I don’t want you to go. Don’t you see it?”

“Why can’t I go? I’m not going to wait for someone to say that I am involved in someone else’s marriage!”

Gu Jun did not respond in time to understand what he meant, “What on earth are you talking about?”

“I’m a fool. Everyone knows about it, and I am the only one who doesn’t know. Why are you pestering me even though you’re already engaged?”

An Xiaoyan’s words were like a thunderbolt out of a clear blue sky. How did An Xiaoyan know about it? He had never mentioned anything about his engagement in the villa. “Xiaoyan, you must be mistaken. I absolutely did not.”

“So what did you do today?”

“I simply took Guo Guo out for a meal, and that’s it.”

An Xiaoyan put the cats and dog back into his bag. Seeing that An Xiaoyan still insisted on leaving, Gu Jun forcefully blocked his way.

“Move away!” An Xiaoyan stared at Gu Jun and said.

Seeing An Xiaoyan looked so determined to leave, it seemed that he really knew something about the engagement. “Xiaoyan, to tell the truth, I am really engaged, but I absolutely did not wish to. I have my reasons.”

Lies, deception.

He could tolerate everything about Gu Jun, but not deception.

“I’m leaving and will never come back. I am also not coming to visit Guo Guo anymore. That is your child.”

Every single word stunned Gu Jun. He already said that he was helpless, but why did An Xiaoyan not understand him? A man with a little mind.

However, in the face of emotions and relationships, there was no mind to speak of.

Gu Jun completely lost his sense of reason when he saw An Xiaoyan insist on leaving. He dragged An Xiaoyan back into the house and threw him on the sofa. Back in the spacious and air-conditioned place, the pets scurried out to find a comfortable place to lie down.

“What are you doing?”

Gu Jun’s eyes were red with anger. He untied his tie and tied An Xiaoyan’s hands up. He answered, “F*uk you!”

“Get out, Gu Jun! Let me go!”

Gu Jun did not stop. Instead, he unbuckled his belt and took off his trousers. An Xiaoyan felt as if he’d been warped back to the past, when Gu Jun did not hesitate to f*ck him directly.

It was still as painful as before and Gu Jun did not have any pity for him. An Xiaoyan looked at the lamp on the ceiling. The lamp was really bright. Gu Jun had never changed. He is still so violent.

When it was over, Gu Jun carried him upstairs. Gu Jun was so angry just now that he could not control himself.

Why can’t An Xiaoyan understand his mood? He was in a difficult situation whereby it was impossible for him to achieve the best of both worlds.

He lost control again. Every time he lost control, it had to end in this way.

An Xiaoyan lay on the bed with half of his fair back exposed and red scratches could be seen all over his back. Under the light, the left side of An Xiaoyan’s face looked very beautiful. Gu Jun covered up the quilt and went out.

The consequence of a moment’s impulse was that he did not know how to face An Xiaoyan now.

Chen Chen called to say that old Mr. Gu had booked the screens of the whole city’s high-rise buildings. As long as there was a display screen, the morning engagement video would be played from 8 p.m onwards.

Gu Jun was totally unaware of this. Old Mr. Gu did that with the fear that Gu Jun might go back on his word. He knew that as long as Gu Jun did not register his marriage, Gu Jun would have a way to turn it around.

Moreover, old Mr. Gu also knew that An Xiaoyan had returned, and he was afraid that the two of them would rekindle their relationship.

It was all because he had overlooked these possibilities. Gu Jun stood on the balcony smoking, and the cigarette ash fell into the ashtray. We have finally become friends, but now there will be no chance to progress at all.

When An Xiaoyan woke up, he first remembered the scene of last night. Although it was very painful, he endured the pain and put on his clothes. When he walked down the stairs of only twenty steps, he took ten minutes to get to the last step.

There was no one around. An Xiaoyan carried his bag from the living room and thought of leaving with his pets, but he could not withstand the pain. He could only manage to carry the one with the smallest size, Fifth Dumpling. The remaining animals looked at their owner with longing eyes.

An Xiaoyan said with much reluctance, “I really can’t take all of you along. In the future, if you can’t live here any longer, you can leave and go wandering around.”

“Meow, meow! Bow wow!”

An Xiaoyan turned around each step he took and finally walked out of Gu Jun’s villa like a lame duck.

Gu Jun on the second floor looked at the scene, but could not go downstairs to stop him from leaving. If he forcefully made An Xiaoyan stay, what difference would it be from how he used to “imprison” An Xiaoyan? He’d already been wrong last night, he could not afford to make another mistake.

He sent someone to follow An Xiaoyan so that he could get him back no matter where he fled to.

An Xiaoyan did not leave A City. He rented a small house because he had to pass Liu Cheng’s ashes to his parents. It would not be an easy task.

When this matter is settled, he would really have nothing left to cling on to. Love and hate, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Liu Cheng’s letter to him was still in his bag, but he still felt that it was not the time to open it. Even though he had accepted the unpleasant facts, he still felt that it should not be opened now.

The first thing he did after renting a house was to go to the pharmacy to buy medicine. He took off his underwear and saw blood stains on it. The most important thing was to stay healthy so as to fulfill Liu Cheng’s wishes.

Fifth Dumpling seemed to know that its master was unhappy and lay on the side of An Xiaoyan, wagging its tail.

He was back at the beginning.