Pat Me Please

Christmas, 2018.

Why don’t we get a holiday for Christmas? It’s obviously a super atmospheric festival. Although it’s from abroad, we could still introduce something similar, haha.

With such random thoughts in mind, Yu Zhou took advantage of her lunch break to carefully pick a reindeer background for herself.

This was Yu Zhou’s first Christmas since starting work. The company had given everyone a beautifully wrapped small apple and a Santa Claus tumbler doll. There were two types: tall and short. She chose one that was slightly longer, with a pointed hat.

It was because she had her fortune told and was told to like the “wooden type” – those who were tall, thin, and pale, just like this doll, and also like…

Ah, not like anything else.

For no reason, Yu Zhou laughed, opening WeChat and just happened to receive a message.

How sweet is the word “just happened”? Is it because it is used on her?

She pretentiously curled the corners of her mouth, opened WeChat, and saw a message from a deep blue avatar: “Do you have any plans for tonight?”

Suddenly, Yu Zhou’s eyes seemed to be filled with crescent moons, shining brightly. With both hands holding her phone, she leaned in and replied, one word at a time, “Not at all.”

She even read the words aloud while typing, laughing again.

After sending the message, she snapped back to reality. Why did she read the words out loud? How neurotic.

She didn’t put down her phone, waiting for Su Chang’s reply.

There was no response for three minutes, not even a “the other person is typing…”

Yu Zhou became a little impatient. Her heart prickled, as if claws were growing inside.

After a while, she received another message: “Do you want to celebrate together?”

The corners of Yu Zhou’s mouth lifted up, finding herself quite strange, like performing face-changing. Thankfully, the other person couldn’t see her expression. Instead of replying “yes” or “no,” she asked, “Huh? Do we have anything to celebrate?”

There was no response from the other side. Yu Zhou pouted and continued typing, “I told you, if you’re laughing, type ‘hahahaha.’ Otherwise, the joke is pointless.”

“Hahahaha.”

“Hahahaha doesn’t need punctuation, it’s not joyful at all!”

“Hahahaha”

She chuckled aloud, finding it hard to associate “hahahaha” with Su Chang after reading it over and over.

They chatted about trivial matters before Yu Zhou reluctantly accepted Su Chang’s invitation. They agreed to meet at six-thirty in the evening, and Su Chang would pick her up outside the company building.

Some time later, Yu Zhou would stand by the fountain of the office building, either burying her face in her scarf or swatting mosquitoes on the edge of her shorts, while waiting for the familiar glow of Su Chang’s car amidst the stream of passing vehicles.

Sometimes she would look at the young girls making phone calls under the brilliant fountain, sometimes she would look around at the prosperity of the bright lights. When her eyes were gradually enchanted by the neon lights, Su Chang would arrive, and then she would sit in the passenger seat, lie down and lazily watch one office building after another recede.

It was like escaping from the city.

It was as if Su Chang was leading her to flee the city.

But that was later, there was never another time like the first time when she tidied up her work twenty minutes early, packed up her bags, sneakily ran to the bathroom, dipped her hand in water, smoothed her long, straight hair, and took out a small lambskin lipstick from her pocket to apply a thin layer.

There was also a chubby and a slim tube, an eyeliner pen and mascara.

Using her hand to pull her eye, she struggled to draw on the eyeliner in the mirror. Fortunately, she had practiced for three days beforehand, so her hand didn’t tremble much this time.

She didn’t know if others felt the same way, but every time Yu Zhou applied eyeliner, her eyes would start to feel sour and sleepy. Moreover, when she put on mascara, her upper and lower eyelashes would become inseparable when she blinked, feeling sticky and greasy. It was as if they were reminding her to open her eyes slowly.

Only then could she gather her wavering gaze and tenderly look at the person she likes.

Yu Zhou smiled again, pursed her lips to make the lipstick on her lips more even. Thinking for a moment, she also fluffed the hair beside her ears to make it more voluminous.

After the preparations were complete, it was 6:27, and her heart was pounding like she had caught a frog kicking its legs. When she entered the elevator, her shoulders unconsciously bounced up and down, she looked at her reflection on the elevator door, her reflection’s shoulders also bounced up and down, making her laugh.

Clearing her throat, she walked through the lobby and pushed the door open, feeling the cold wind carrying her silky hair, giving her the feeling of a music video heroine. Looking to the right, she saw Su Chang’s car as expected.

She paused for a moment, tucked her hair behind her ears before walking over, suddenly feeling a little nervous, thinking her legs seemed to have grown thicker in the past two days, not knowing if the other party could tell.

Her shoes were also cheap, newly arrived from Taobao and she could smell the inferior leather while sitting.

It was outrageous that she was thinking about all this when she opened the car door, but Su Chang sat in the driver’s seat, resting her arm on the steering wheel, listening to music while turning her head to smile at her.

She was listening to an English song, one that suited her particularly well.

How should one describe Su Chang? Yu Zhou had thought about it for a long time, but after much consideration, it came down to just two words – high-class.

It seemed that others around Yu Zhou were all alive, but everything about Su Chang – herself, her clothes, her perfume, her car, and even the exquisite interior of her car – belonged in a TV show, rather than in real life.

Even her laughter seemed to be softened by a gentle, unreal light.

Yu Zhou got in the car and buckled her seatbelt, her head down.

Once done, she greeted, “Hi.”

Su Chang pursed her lips as she glanced at the rearview mirror on the driver’s side, seemingly checking the traffic behind them, before softly saying, “Hi.”

Neither of them looked directly at the other – one “Hi” was hanging on the seatbelt while the other “Hi” was reflected in the rearview mirror.

Yu Zhou suddenly laughed, finding the situation so silly.

She sniffled and asked Su Chang, “Where are we going?”

Her voice, soft and gentle, carried a hint of winter hoarseness as her words trailed off. Her lips formed a slight semi-circle, and she blinked while gazing at Su Chang.

Su Chang’s eyes were warm as she looked back at her and said, “Hmm…where do you want to go?”

“Weren’t you the one who invited me out?” Yu Zhou blinked again.

Su Chang replied, “Yeah, but I just wanted to see you.”

Wow…that was quite the flirt, Yu Zhou thought as she stared at Su Chang, feeling as if her heart had been delicately plucked. Yet Su Chang’s tone seemed so casual and sincere that it appeared she was just stating a simple truth.

“Well,” Yu Zhou wanted to lick her lips but remembered she was wearing lipstick, so she refrained. She pulled out her phone and casually scrolled on it, suggesting, “Maybe we could…”

“Have dinner?” Su Chang interjected.

Of course, it was dinner time. Yu Zhou asked, “Do you have anything in mind?”

Su Chang tilted her head to one side, pondering, before saying, “Cantonese cuisine.”

“Why?”

“I just feel like it.”

Actually, when Yu Zhou had gotten in the car, Su Chang suddenly thought of steamed creamy custard buns.

The incredibly sweet and tender kind that, with just one bite, would fill one’s heart with the texture of fine sand.

By that time, they both knew that each other had feelings for the other, but neither of them had pierced through that veil of uncertainty. Thus, the dinner went on casually but awkwardly. The two of them didn’t say much, but occasionally, as Yu Zhou lowered her head to play with her phone, she could feel Su Chang’s gaze on her cheek. After lingering for a moment, it would drift away like a gentle breeze, and then Su Chang would reach out to pour a glass of water.

When asking if Yu Zhou wanted more tea, their fingertips accidentally touched – it was cold, the fragrance seemed to seep through their very skin.

Yu Zhou had never been in love before. She only had a crush on her seniors during high school and college. Before meeting Su Chang, Yu Zhou had no idea that a girl could have such a strong attraction to her.

Liking a girl and liking a boy were different, Yu Zhou thought. Boys and girls were like magnets of different poles. When she liked a boy, it was only natural for her to get close to him. Yet, when she stuck to him, she wanted to separate, only feeling the pull between them when they were apart.

But when it came to liking a girl, there was a natural barrier as they got closer. This made Yu Zhou cling on even more stubbornly, wanting to break all the barriers between them and stick close to her, even bind together.

Rebellion and defiance were shared emotions that came with loving someone of the same sex. It made it very difficult to decide whether to move quickly or slowly, to rush things or take it step by step.

Yu Zhou didn’t have the patience to wait for things to happen naturally, and she didn’t want to.

She enjoyed thinking deeply, and when she was deep in thought, her eyelashes would obediently droop down, making her seem like a girl who had never been mischievous.

Su Chang happened to love seeing her think, especially when she sometimes glanced at Su Chang’s wrist between thoughts. Su Chang knew that she herself was part of what Yu Zhou was pondering.

After dinner, the two of them pushed open the door and went out into the cold evening wind.

Their car was parked quite far away, so they walked slowly towards it, along the street, each with hands in their pockets with their shadows stretching long under the streetlights.

It was a lively scene on both sides, with Christmas carols playing relentlessly over the decades. The red and green blinking lights were captivating, and from time to time, they passed by small stands selling apples and flowers.

That year, there were still many street vendors in the alleys, making it feel much livelier than the years to come.

As they passed by a gingerbread stall, Yu Zhou stopped out of curiosity. With her mouth still wrapped in a scarf, she asked the young woman selling gingerbread, “Did you make these yourself?”

“Yes, they’re all handmade. Would you like to take a look?” The vendor rubbed her hands while stomping her feet to keep warm.

Yu Zhou bent down to take a closer look, her hair falling down from behind her ear. A faint fragrance enveloped her, as Su Chang also bent down and stopped beside her. With a nasal voice, Su Chang said, “Which one do you like?”

During her adolescence, Yu Zhou often daydreamed, sometimes even making up Mary Sue stories before bed so she could sleep well. In one of those scenarios, she and the person she liked would lean close to a dazzling shop window, and that person would choose a gift for her.

She never thought the one saying those words would be a girl, but reality seemed even better than she had imagined, even without a beautiful window display.

Yet, she could feel the white breath Su Chang emitted as she spoke softly, like a feather brushing against her cheek.

She was so damn near.

Yu Zhou’s face turned a bit red, and her voice grew softer as she said, “I can’t decide, the Christmas tree looks nice, and the reindeer one looks nice too.”

“Well, then let’s get both.”

Su Chang’s clear voice traveled across her hair strands, like a boat traveling through mountains and rivers, stopping right beside Yu Zhou’s ear.

Having said that, she stood up, took out her phone and started scanning the QR code.

“What are you doing?” Yu Zhou also straightened her body, feeling a bit awkward.

“I didn’t prepare a gift for today.” Su Chang bought it, carefully watching the stall owner wrap it while smiling.

Yu Zhou lifted her tiptoe and then put it down, lifted it again, and whispered, “Neither did I prepare one for you.”

“You don’t need to.” Su Chang handed the gingerbread to her before walking forward.

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Oh.”

In front of a shopping mall, there were children playing on the slide with laughter, a huge Christmas tree shining brightly. Su Chang took a look and then slowed her pace, looking at Yu Zhou, she suddenly said, “There’s something I want to tell you.”

“Ah? What is it?”

Four eyes met, being so clever, Yu Zhou, of course, had a premonition.

Her physiological reaction even outpaced her psychological one, her heart already swelling up first, as if being praised by someone, feeling dizzy.

But Su Chang lowered her head and laughed, breathing lightly, closed her mouth before turning her head to continue walking.

“What is it?” Yu Zhou followed her and asked her by her side.

Su Chang stood at the starting point of the zebra crossing, watching the traffic lights.

“What do you want to say? Just say it.”

Pedestrians walked towards them from the opposite side, and Su Chang touched Yu Zhou slightly as they crossed together.

While crossing the road, Yu Zhou didn’t want to ask anymore, feeling unsafe. But while focusing on walking, she felt the cold back of a hand touching hers, and then holding it.

It was very strange, sweat broke out instantly in her palms and her heart’s surface thumped rapidly, ready to jump out. However, the bottom of her heart sank, as if it had finally settled.

Yu Zhou followed her in the crowd without speaking, only moved her fingers.

Then Su Chang also gently squeezed back in response, and tucked her loose hair behind her ear with the other hand.

Her hand was soft, and her fingertips gently pulled Yu Zhou, the warmth of her palm transferring to her. As they crossed the road, the pedestrians dispersed, and Su Chang led the way on the right side. She released Yu Zhou’s hand momentarily, only to reach out again, raising her wrist and aligning it with Yu Zhou’s five fingers. With a gentle motion, she interlocked their fingers, tightly clasping them together.

If there had been the slightest uncertainty before, the meaning of this gesture was all too clear now.

The two of them stopped talking, moving from the bustling crowd to the quiet area, from the wide street to the narrow alleys. Finally, Yu Zhou spoke the first sentence: “Our car seems to be parked on the other side.”

They took a wrong turn at the fork in the road just now.

Su Chang pulled her gently as she repeated, “Our car?”

“No, it’s your car.”

Su Chang pulled her again, “I prefer the previous expression.”

Yu Zhou pursed her lips and suddenly broke free of her grasp, “You’re so annoying.”

She stopped, standing at the entrance of the alley, not wanting to move anymore.

“?”

“You said you were going to say it, but you never did.” Yu Zhou suddenly seemed a bit grumpy, put her hands in her pockets, buried her chin in her scarf and kicked the little pebbles on the ground, not wanting to look at her.

“Say what?”

“Didn’t you say…”

“Say that I like you?”

Yu Zhou looked up at her in a daze; she hadn’t expected this turn of conversation.

“Haven’t I been talking about this all night?” Su Chang looked at her quietly, the halo of the streetlight making her beauty and gentleness seem almost surreal.

So annoying, Yu Zhou kept repeating these words in her heart because her heartbeat had become so sour that she couldn’t take it anymore.

“I…”

What should I say now…

Su Chang laughed, “What I want to hear, of course, is ‘me too.'”

It was as if she’d seen through Yu Zhou’s inner turmoil and calmly guided her.

But Yu Zhou sighed, while Su Chang looked at her attentively, as if inquiring.

“You…” Yu Zhou tilted her head doubtfully, “Have you really never been in love before?”

Su Chang shook her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I feel like you’re really good at it.” Yu Zhou puffed up her cheeks, glancing at her.

Was this a compliment? Su Chang wasn’t quite sure. In fact, she was feeling nervous as well, her ears hidden under her hair must be red because she felt a bit hot.

“Is that so?” She whispered to Yu Zhou.

“Yes.”

Yu Zhou nodded, sighed again before walking forward with her hands in her pockets.

“You deserved to have a girlfriend,” Yu Zhou dropped a comment as she walked away.

Hearing the slightly paused footsteps behind her and then catching up again, Yu Zhou hid her smile in her scarf.

I’m quite good at this as well. Yu Zhou, you deserve to have a girlfriend too.

She whispered to herself in her heart.