Nobunaga Oda's Isekai Cultivation Experience

Tapping each of the squares, Nobu was over the moon to see information related to various objects appear on the screen. Most of it was complete gibberish, filled with question marks, but, so long as he spent additional Aura, he could even analyze the composition of the surrounding rock strata.

Simply put, Nobu's Camera functioned similarly to the Appraisal ability commonly found in novels with RPG and System elements. What distinguished his Camera from the norm was that every new object he scanned had a related Achievement. For common items, there were even Achievements pertaining to the number of objects he had analyzed.

"This explains why the Achievement Tab continues on forever...it's almost like it wants me to scan every object in existence..."

Though he could really use it effectively at the moment, Nobu was looking forward the spamming the camera function in the future. He had already confirmed it possessed the ability to scan living creatures by targeting a few pill bugs. It didn't show values for things like health, but, so long as he was careful, he could use it to discover somethings strengths, weaknesses, rank, and total Aura.

"If this works on humans, I bet I could make a fortune as an information broker..."

Since the 'premium' version of the scan even included a basic biography of the target, there was a very real chance he could use it to ascertain a person's deepest, darkest, secrets. The only downside was that it seemed to require additional Aura depending on the size and rarity of an object.

After investing an additional 3 Aura, Nobu had been able to determine things like its composition, purity, and printing date of a gold coin. When he tried the same with an expensive herb, the cost of a comprehensive analysis shot up to 18,492 Aura. This was far beyond his means, so, at least for the time being, he had to settle on identifying pebbles, handfuls of snow, and parts of his body.

Though some might consider it a waste, Nobu had laughed his ass off after giving in to his curiosity and taking a 'dick pic'. It cost him an additional 20 Aura to analyze, but, in exchange, he got to learn its exact length, health, and, somewhat amusingly, the name and number of times he had slept with a woman. There was even a value accounting for the number of times he had jerked off, but, thanks to his reincarnation, he could now proudly proclaim he had had more sex than the number of times he had masturbated: 0.

"Just call me Chad Thundercock from now on..."

Amused by his own meta-humor, Nobu chuckled before getting comfortable on the thatch mat that had served as his bedding for the past five days. Now that he had calmed down and learned how broken his Camera App was, he was seriously considering revisiting the Messenger App. The alias 'Demon King of Sixth Heaven', while extremely cringe, was also pretty cool. He just needed to get strong enough to smack the shit out of anyone who dared laugh at him.

"Well...it's whatever..."

On that dismissive note, Nobu opened the Messenger App to find that he was no longer in the profile creation menu. Whatever asshole was in charge of moderating the App seemed to have taken the liberty to complete it for him. As a result, he found himself in an interface that greatly resembled Discord, a popular instant-messaging platform back on Earth. The only real difference was that there was only a single server, and, other than himself, the member list was completely empty.

Though it was a relief to discover he was the Admin of the server, Nobu felt it was kind of useless if he was the only member. Fortunately, or perhaps not, there was a tiny (1) beneath the golden cloud icon in the upper left of the app. Clicking on it revealed his completely empty Friend's List and a tab for Direct Messages. This was a method for people to send private messages to other users, and, as his notification had made apparent, there was a single message sitting in his Inbox.

"Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths? Don't tell me my first contact is a fucking Narutard..."

Before he had even finished speaking, a chill ran through Nobu's body as a (2) popped up next to the unnecessarily wordy username. This gave him an overwhelming urge to simply ignore the two messages, but, having already formed his resolve to make the most of his golden spoon, he ended up clicking the name after the message count reached (5).

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Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: I dare you to try. (Sent at: 06:42am)

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: You're really pushing your luck. (Sent 43s ago.)

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: Do you dare to ignore me? (Sent 18s ago.)

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: If you don't respond in the next three seconds, your next incarnation will be a mollusk. (Sent 5s ago)

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: You've successfully pissed me off. Congratulations. (Sent: Just now.)

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Though he normally wouldn't care, Nobu felt a heavy sensation against his chest as he read each of the messages. It was like someone was piling massive weights on his body, and, after a few seconds had passed, even breathing became difficult.

Gritting his teeth, Nobu began rapidly typing a reply of his own. It might have been easier to just speak out loud, but, thanks to the pressure on his chest, speaking freely would be impossible.

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Demon King of Sixth Heaven: Are you the one doing this? What's your problem?

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: Oh? You finally replied? I guess you haven't given up on life just yet.

Demon King of Sixth Heaven: You didn't answer my question. Seriously, cut it out. What did I ever do to you? Don't you have anything better to do than making my life more difficult?

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: ...

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: Are you seriously this dense?

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Reading the last message, Nobu's doubts regarding the Goddess' identity were all but resolved. She was clearly the Goddess who had reincarnated him. What he couldn't understand was why she was tormenting him. Sure, he had said some brash remarks but she was a literal fucking Goddess. It wasn't like he could actually do anything to her.

Shaking his head, Nobu decided to try and nip the problem in the bud. His life was already stressful enough without an unhinged and clearly bored Goddess interfering with his affairs.

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Demon King of Sixth Heaven: Look, I'm sorry. I was pissed off and you were the only person I could think of to assign blame. Had I known you could actually hear me, I wouldn't have said anything at all. Can we just drop this? Please?

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: It seems you aren't a complete fool...

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths:: Very well. We will be magnanimous and let you off the hook just this once. Be grateful, human. This is the last mercy you will ever receive from us.

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Feeling his temples pulsing, almost as if he were about to have an aneurysm, Nobu took advantage of the fact the pressure had disappeared to take a number of deep breaths. Then, doing his best to not even think bad thoughts about the ostensibly petty Goddess, he typed:

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Demon King of Sixth Heaven: Thanks. I will remember this kindness for the rest of my life...

Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths: *thumbs up emoji*

-Transcendent Goddess of the Six Paths has gone offline-

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Releasing a sigh of relief, Nobu set down his tablet before habitually covering his eyes using his forearm. As frustrating as this experience had been, it taught him that the Gods could not only see what he was doing, they could even interfere with him. The pressure he had experienced had been very real, so, despite feeling a deep, seething, rage, he did his best to remain calm as he considered his options.

Thinking back to the day he reincarnated, Nobu could clearly recall the Goddess complaining about other Reincarnators thinking they could oppose the Gods. Since she was able to interact with him, it was highly likely that a way to transition between the 'mortal' world and 'heaven' existed. He had no intention of confronting the Gods, but, if he played his cards right, there was a chance he could find a way to enter their realm and return.

Based on his dealings with the Goddess, the Gods were a lot more human than most people would have expected. They clearly had their own personalities, wants, and needs, so, if he could obtain the favor of a reasonable powerful God, he might be able to secure passage back to Earth. This would undoubtedly require him to give up his cheat, but, even if it were only for a moment, Nobu would give up everything just to speak with his mother and tell her he was okay...

As that thought crossed his mind, a solemn expression appeared on Nobu's face as he resisted the urge to swear. Then, after brooding in silence for the better part of twenty minutes, he rolled to his feet, stretched his body, and started to exercise...

---

Though it had been more than an hour since she finished gathering food and supplies, Yui found herself unable, or, more accurately, unwilling to return to the cave. Her anger had settled long ago, and, ever since then, she had been shifting between thinking about Nobu's words and agonizing over what kind of reaction her Grandmother might have should she arrived without him.

Even an infant would be able to understand that Nobu didn't want to accompany her back to the Yoshitsune Clan. She could probably convince him by explaining the situation to him, but, in reality, even she didn't know why her Grandmother wanted him brought back to the Clan.

According to the mission briefing, Nobu was supposed to be a mentally handicapped individual without the means to care for himself. This was a stark contrast to the reality right in front of her eyes, but, based on her findings, it wasn't long ago that he was exactly as the report described. In fact, now that she thought about it, there was a very real chance that he had somehow overcome his disability moments before their initial meeting.

"Could he have consumed some sort of heavenly treasure? That would help to explain his abnormal growth but how would Grandmother know about this? More than a month had passed by the time I arrived in Owari-Asai. If Grandmother had somehow learned that he would come into possession of a heavenly treasure, she would have come to retrieve it herself..."

Exhaling a sigh, Yui realized there were a number of incongruencies with her current situation. This, combined with Nobu's words, filled her with doubts. She found herself questioning everything, and, for the first time in her life, she was seriously considering escaping across the sea. Belonging to the Yoshitsune Clan had never brought her happiness. Instead, it had forced innumerable burdens upon her, and, no matter how much she excelled compared to her peers, she was always a single mistake from being forced to sacrifice herself for the Clan's benefit.

"I really am a hypocrite...I lecture people on honor and pride yet here I am, seriously considering turning my back on six-thousand-years of history. Maybe the Elders were right about me...I'm just a coward who only thinks about themself..."

Smiling in a self-deprecating manner, Yui manifested a short golden dagger from her aura, obsidian blue eyes fixated on its blinding, razor-sharp, edge as she mumbled, "Maybe it would be better if I just put an end to everything...I wonder if ritual suicide can restore the honor of someone who has seriously considered betraying their family? At the very least, I can avoid being labeled a coward..."

Though it was only a single crystalline droplet, a tear managed to liberate itself from Yui's eyes, accurately striking the blade's edge. This was followed by a sniffle, but, after wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, all evidence of her passing despair had been erased. Then, for reasons she wouldn't be able to put into words, Yui looked in the direction of the cave and muttered, "I wonder if that man would laugh if he saw me like this..."

(A/N: Stay strong, Yui...)