My Inseparable House Guests

Previous story summary: Dialect pestered Fang's mother in the office to ask for delicious food.

Seeing Fang Yan asking for delicious food, Mother Fang asked Fang Yan to wait, then walked to someone else's office, and returned after a while.

When she came back, Mother Fang was holding a red snack bag in her hand. Dialect will never forget that red bag in his life. It was filled with various English letters, and there was a bone pattern on the bag.

Mother Fang gave the bag to Fang Yan, and Fang Yan opened it to see that it was filled with delicious biscuits.

Fang Yan took out the biscuits from the bag and tasted them, and found that they tasted very delicious. Then he sat in the office and spent the whole afternoon eating the whole bag of snacks.

During the period, Dialect also handed the biscuits to Fang's mother very conscientiously, and asked her to eat together, but Fang's mother was rare and generous for a while, letting Fang Yan eat the biscuits alone.

The bag of snacks that Fangyan ate in Fang’s mother’s office is a good memory of Fangyan for a period of time. I know that once when Dialect’s aunt came, she took Dialect and her cousin to the supermarket to buy delicious food. The aunt told Fangyan , he can choose any one of his favorite snacks in the supermarket.

Dialect wandered around in the supermarket, and then found the exact same red bag snacks that he had eaten in his mother's office that day, then excitedly picked up the snacks and went to find his aunt.

Then.

Then my aunt popularized the dialect for half an hour, the difference between pet dog food and human snacks.

Later, when Fangyan was in college, Fang’s mother asked Fangyan when she would bring her girlfriend home, and Fangyan would reply with one sentence: I’ll just feed him with dog food, and you still want me to bring my girlfriend back. Friends are good.

. . .

When Dialect was young, Fang's mother didn't buy toys for Dialect, but what she bought were dolls, skirts and the like.

That's right, Mother Fang has a particularly bad habit of dressing up her son as a little girl.

If you like it, you can make another one!

Dialect made righteous protests and serious suggestions to Fang's mother when he grew up. It was suggested that Fang's mother had another small public offer, but Fang's mother ruthlessly rejected it.

The Fang family will always have only one little public servant.

Fang's mother looked at the dialect with misty eyes and said, "Do you not like mother anymore, since you want a younger sister to replace mother."

you win.

. . .

Fang Ze gave up entangled with Fang's mother on this matter. However, Fang's mother bought Fang Ze a toy that was more suitable for boys when she was a child, but later, this originally warm childhood memory turned into an unspeakable pain in Dialect's heart.

Fang's mother bought Fang Yan a small leather ball when he was nine years old, but she didn't let him take it out of the house to play. But Fang Ze is also very happy in this way, because Fang's mother will play this little ball with Fang Yan every time.

Dialect still remembers Fang’s mother smiling sweetly at that time, and then holding a small ball, she said to Dialect, “Baby, look, this is a small ball.”

After Fang's mother finished speaking, she would throw the small ball, and then Fang Ze would rush over to pick it up, and then Fang's mother would throw it again.

The pure dialect was there but he didn’t think there was any problem until he came back from his first year of study and saw a dog at home. Fang’s mother took the little ball from back then and said to the dog, “Baby, look, this is a little ball. .”

Don't stop me, I'm leaving home.

. . .

When Dialect was ten years old, there was a Starbucks in the city where young freshmen pretended to be. Foodies, snacks and drink lovers, Fang's mother, naturally wanted to try it, and she also brought Dialect.

Of course, there is a reason why Fang Ma brought the dialect. Of course, this reason has nothing to do with dialect hair, but because Fang Ma is a thin-skinned little public opinion.

So generally pay attention not to do embarrassing things.

This is the reason why she brought the dialect. After entering the store, she brought the dialect and said to the Starbucks waiter, "This kid wants to eat and clamors to come to Starbucks for coffee, but he is afraid that he won't be ashamed if he doesn't know the rules. Can you give it to him?" Does he have to pay attention to what he said?"

After Fang's mother finished speaking, she looked very familiar with me here, but she wanted to let the child learn to be independent. Watching the dialect interact with the Starbucks waiter, and then write down all the details, so that she can pretend to be a regular customer in the future Looks like I'm drinking coffee at Starbucks.

Then she never brought dialect into Starbucks again! ! ! !

. . .

It seems to have said a lot of unreliable things about Fang's mother.

But to be honest, if you let the dialect judge, although Fang's mother is unreliable, she is definitely a good mother.

This is not an evaluation based on parent-child relationship, but a very fair and objective evaluation.

There are some people, although she has many bad things, but a shining point on her body can offset all the bad things. Mother Fang is such a person.

And her shining point is enlightenment.

Of course, this kind of enlightenment does not refer to the kind of enlightenment that dialect brings her boyfriend, she will not accept it as nothing, but the enlightenment in education and raising children, although she left dialect with many nightmares when she was young. memory.

Fang's mother's open-mindedness began to manifest when dialect was in elementary school.

When Dialect was in junior high school, because he was playful, his grades were always around the upper middle. Then there was a time when the teacher accidentally got the top ten in the class in dialect, and the only class that was a bit poor happened to be taught by the head teacher.

So the dialect head teacher asked for Fang's mother's phone number and called Fang's mother. The core idea of ​​the speech is that this kid has a future, but now he just didn't study hard, so he can go to the cram school run by him, and when the time comes to make up for his shortcomings, he may be the first in the grade.

After listening to the head teacher's words, Fang's mother curiously asked Fang Yan how many people there were at that age. The head teacher said that there were more than 1,000 people, and then Fang's mother said happily, "My son is already in the top ten of the more than 1,000 people. It is not bad. Now this child's self-consciousness in learning is also better. If he is forced to study If so, it might make him feel bored."

"Furthermore, if my son is really the first in grade, wouldn't that mean that there is no room for improvement in the next few years, no good, no good."

. . .

Speak openly. There was also a very misunderstanding between Fang Ma and dialect. In the third year of junior high school, Dialect was already considered an older boy. That day, Fang's parents and Fang's mother left home to go outside, leaving only dialect at home.

It was summer, and the weather was very hot, and the Fang family did not have an air conditioner at that time, only a vertical electric fan.

At that time, the dialect was really hot, so he simply took off his clothes and went to the bathroom to wash his body up and down. After flushing, I didn't wipe it, but went to the electric fan with bare feet to blow on the electric fan (those who try it should know how cool it is.)

After washing, Fang Yan felt that his life was short of a popsicle, so he took a popsicle from the refrigerator in the bathroom and ate it in front of the hair dryer. Then, while eating, he accidentally missed a popsicle and dropped it on his crotch.

At that time, it was so sour that Fang Ze took out a piece of toilet paper and started wiping.

Then, when Mother Fang came back, she saw her son holding toilet paper, with his back turned to him, rubbing something.

After Fang's mother pretended not to see and went back to the house, the dialect really didn't know how to explain it. Mom, I wasn't there, I was rubbing popsicles.

Three days later, Fang Yan came home again and found a sex education book for middle school students and a box of tissue paper in his bedroom.

. . .

Of course, Fang's mother's very open-minded education method that pays attention to training children's autonomy has also brought a lot of cheating experience in dialect.

The first thing to recommend is the dialect. Ever since I knew about the law on the protection of minors, if I did something mischievous, seeing that Fang’s parents and mother’s big ears were about to come down, they would loudly say that the law on the protection of minors is otherwise Hitting children is the right given to children by the United Nations.

If it was an ordinary parent, they would still be able to type correctly, ignoring the dialect, but Fang's mother was different. Fang's mother would tell Yanyan before beating that the law on the protection of minors only protects thin children, not fat ones (at that time, Fangyan was a little fat because of his gluttonous snacks). Although Fang Yan was still beaten later, Fang Yan began to pay attention to exercise and control appetite since then, and soon lost weight.

. . .

Since high school, Fang Yan has hardly enjoyed any maternal love, because Fang's mother's status in the family is a small public servant, so it is no problem for Fang Yan to be her younger sister's pet.

One day, Dialect suddenly wanted to raise a cat, so he said to Fang's mother, "Mom, I want to raise a cat."

"Meow~" Mother Fang meowed, and the expression in her eyes meant that taking care of me is not easy, and you still want to take care of one more cat.

Another time when Dialect just came home on the weekend, he saw Fang’s mother squatting at the door of the toilet, holding her calf with her right hand, as if in pain, so she hurried over to ask Fang’s mother to see if she had a sudden attack of appendicitis or something, should she Sent to the hospital.

After a while, Fang's mother pointed to the phone and said, "I didn't pay attention to the time when I was playing games, and I sat on the toilet for too long, and my legs were numb."

deserve it!

. . .

When Dialect was in elementary school, his deskmate was a very cute little loli. Of course, because seeing his mother was enough, Fang Yan had no feelings for the little loli. But one time when Fang's mother came to hold a parent-teacher meeting, she immediately fell in love with this little loli, and the loli's soul in her body immediately burned, and she even taught dialect how to pick up girls, and then took this little loli into her hands and abducted her to the house Play.

For his mother's unreliable proposal, Fang Yan justly refused. But Fang's mother saw that the dialect had been slow to do it, so she actually thought of a way to do it herself.

There was a parent-teacher meeting one year, Fang’s mother didn’t have time to go, and Fang Yan went directly to Fang’s father, but after Fang’s mother found out, she asked for leave to attend the dialect’s parent-teacher meeting, and Fang Yan, who was almost moved, thought her mother had changed her sex. up.

But after going to the parents' meeting, Fang's mother took advantage of the opportunity when the parents at the same table of dialect little loli went out to have a detailed talk with the teacher, and told little dialect that dialect really liked you. He records everything he spends with you in his diary at home, and writes your name in his homework book.

The elementary school students at that time were so innocent, Little Loli believed him on the spot, thinking that Dialect was the kind of tsundere male lead in romance novels, and she had been secretly liking him.

With Fang Ma's help, little Lolita has been coming to Dialect's house to play. Fang Ma will prepare little Lolita's favorite snacks every time, and then have an extremely loving relationship with Little Lolita. interactive.

In order to get the increased pocket money promised by Fang's mother, Dialect also acquiesced in the existence of little loli.

Later, after entering junior high school, although Fang Yan and Xiao Luoli both knew that what happened back then was a conspiracy designed by Fang's mother so that Xiao Luoli could come to the house to play, but after so many years, Fang's mother has already had a deep relationship with Xiao Luoli. Even if it's not because of the dialect, little Lolita will often come to visit Fang's mother at home.

Then, little Lolita naturally became Dialect's childhood sweetheart. Later, when she was about to graduate from university, Little Lolita and Fangyan got together. Fangyan also inherited her father's banner and became a new generation of legal Lolita. By.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I don't know if the little Lolita was influenced by Fang's mother or because Fang's mother saw the potential of being a legitimate loli just like back then. In short, when the little loli went to college, she looked similar to Fang's mother back then, and she looked like a junior high school student, becoming a legal loli.

Later, due to an incident in the imperial capital, Dialect changed his name to Fang Ze, and came to Haiping City to go to university, and the legal little loli also followed Dialect to Haiping City, and the two studied at the same university.

Oh, by the way, this little loli is called Lin Xiaoxin.

. . .

Some stories are adapted from Internet jokes. Many of them were seen from the space, recorded down casually and then integrated together to make a character design of Fang Ma.

Probably, Mother Fang will make an appearance in the near future.