Mark of the Fool

When Alex Roth had so confidently declared that he would have a staff all ready for their next battle, he didn't know conflict was just over the horizon.

Though, it would prove to be far from typical.

It had all begun one pleasant morning at the Generasi dockside.

The day hadn’t started off ominously, all things considered.

He was up at the crack of dawn and—as usual—concentrated on material in the spell-guide for greater force armour, speed-read materials from textbooks on demonology, and considered which courses he should be taking in the new semester.

After that—humming tunelessly—he’d gone down to the insula’s kitchen to make something for himself, Selina and Theresa, and had a nice chat with Claygon, and then a fine breakfast with his little family. He’d then checked on the aeld branch—which he’d brought back to the apartment a week ago—and, once he was satisfied that it was still making healthy progress, he’d pulled up a chair at the table and read while waiting for expected company.

Soon, Prince Khalik—accompanied by Najyah—joined his family in their apartment, then everyone headed off to the city docks to wait for a Generasi bound ship.

The sun was well into the sky when the ship carrying Thundar appeared on the horizon, warming the day considerably by the time the vessel finally came to rest by the dock.

Alex and company were relaxed, chatting among themselves as they arrived at the pier…when suddenly, the mood changed: a certain minotaur sprinted down the gangplank like he was being chased by hellhounds, bounded at Alex and Khalik, and seized the pair by their shoulders.

“You’re my friends, right?” He demanded, staring at them with eyes wild and red.

“Not when you ask like that!” Alex cried, taken aback.

“Hey, hey, is that any way to talk to your cabal-leader?” Thundar asked through a forced smile, one eyelid twitching rapidly and his grip tightening on their shoulders.

“I do not recall making you our leader!” Khalik said, trying to pull away from his friend, but the minotaur held on like a bear trap clamped on a terrified bear.

“Even if it’s not official, eh?” The minotaur chuckled dangerously. “I am still an important member of this cabal, remember? You know, the thing where we agreed to help each other?”

“Well, yeah,” Alex started. “But I mean, you didn’t even say ‘hello’! You just ran off the ship like a maniac and tried to crush us.”

“Hahahaha!” Thundar laughed, sounding off, his deep voice unusually shrill. “What are hellos and goodbyes between good, good, good friends who’re oathbound to help each other! I mean, I’ve helped you both a bunch! We’ve fought together, I’ve nearly laid down my life a half-dozen times for my good, good, good friends here, we’ve shared drinks together, I mean—”

“Are you drunk?” Khalik frowned suspiciously, leaning forward, sniffing the minotaur’s breath. He grimaced, the regret clear on his face. “Ugh! I can’t tell what’s beneath all of that smoked fish odour! Ugh, Thundar, I warn you—if you got into your crew’s alcohol—sailors’ grog can be foul—”

“I’m as sober as the day I was born, and don’t interrupt your good, good, good friend, it’s rude and offensive!” Thundar’s grin was exaggerated, broad enough that it looked like foam would spill from the corners of his mouth.

‘Ah! It is like you said father…’ Claygon slapped one of his palms with a fist in sudden understanding. ‘Interrupting someone is…rude. I see…now. Thank you…now I know what you meant.’

In Alex’s overwhelmed mind, he couldn’t even remember what his golem was talking about. And he wasn’t the only one drowning in a sea of confusion. Beside Claygon, Selina was staring up at Thundar as though the minotaur had suddenly grown two more heads and started breathing lightning. Brutus was sitting in front of his master, with all three heads cocked to the side as though observing a rabbit drunk on nut wine.

…which had actually happened, back in Alric.

Mr. McGregor had taken to sealing his personal stores of spirits far more carefully after that incident. The townsfolk found hungover rabbits for days afterward.

And hungover was exactly how Theresa’s face looked.

Well, that or like she’d been clubbed on the back of the head; her jaw hung open as she stared at Thundar in bewilderment, only closing when a fly threatened to land in her mouth.

As for Najyah, she was so shocked that…no wait, she was too busy to be shocked. Alex observed the giant eagle as she feasted on a hapless seagull.

‘When did she catch that?’ He wondered, vaguely aware that Thundar was still talking to them.

“Thundar!” Theresa managed to shake herself. “What’s happening? Is something wrong?” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “If there is—and it’s this desperate—you can tell us. We’ll help you in any way we can.”

The minotaur froze.

He slowly looked down at Theresa with anxiety-filled eyes darting back and forth while he shifted his weight uncomfortably on his hooves. “Um…no.”

Silence blanketed the small group standing at the pier as the huntress watched the minotaur, even more confused than before. The stillness was only broken by shrieks from panicked gulls scrambling away from Najyah, and the murmurs of passengers disembarking and moving past the strange scene that was unfolding.

“Why not?” Theresa demanded. “Oh, I see how it is. So, whatever it is soooo important that only your fancy wizard-cabal friends can help you?”

“Well…er…” the minotaur cleared his throat, releasing Alex and Khalik to back away from the huntress. “Well, uh…that’s to say…I uh…well, you know…the thing is…”

“Yeah!” Selina glowered, putting her hands on your hips. “We’re your friends too, just because we’re not wizards like youdoesn’t mean that we can’t help you! Don’t you trust us, Thundar?”

The eleven year old girl’s big green eyes stared into the minotaur’s soul.

“No, no! It’s not like that!” Thundar pleaded. “It’s not like that at all! Doesn’t have to do with me not trusting you! It’s that…well, it’s not something you can really help with! I mean. Especially not, you Selina—”

“Why, not!” She scowled. “You think I’m too young and stupid to hear what it is?”

“No!” Thundar screamed. “No, you’re not stupid! Oh, by my ancestors, why is this happening? Alex, help me! Help! Me!”

“Why are you dismissing Theresa and my little sister?” The Thameish wizard placed his hands on his hips. “Maybe this is a problem that needs some wizarding work, sure, but we haven’t kept them in the dark before, even when we were about to head into some sort of danger! This is really unlike you, man!”

“Aleeeex…” Thundar rasped as though he were dying, squirming under the gaze of three glowering sets of eyes. “Aleeeex…don’t do this to me. Not like this. Not like this…”

“Oh!” Khalik suddenly cried, his brown eyes growing wide with understanding. “IIII think I see what is happening.”

All eyes fell on him as he gave Theresa and Selina a meaning-filled look.

“My friends…I think, erm, Thundar’s issue is one that is…how should I put this…a little delicate. Perhaps he is embarrassed to share it among, shall we say…mixed company?”

Another long silence.

“Oooooh!” Selina said, nodding. “Icky boy stuff.”

“It’s not icky!” Thundar’s voice grew shriller than before. “It’s…sensitive, like Khalik said.”

Theresa sighed, her eyes rolling so hard, they looked like they would fall from her head and onto the pier. “I understand, but maybe you could’ve said something before instead of scaring everyone by acting all terrified and hysterical.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault I haven’t slept in two days,” the minotaur grumbled. “And I wasn’t hysterical. I don’t do hysterical!”

“....right,” was all Theresa and Selina said as one.

“Why, haven’t you slept in two days? What happened?” Alex asked him.

“I was too nervous to sleep!”

“So, it’s your own fault, then.”

The minotaur’s bloodshot eyes narrowed. “You treacherous bast–”

“Theresa, let’s go get something to eat,” Selina shook her head. “We passed some fish stands on the way, you wanna go see if they’ve got anything good?”

“Yeah, we’d better leave the boys to it,” Theresa sighed, taking Selina’s hand. “Before Thundar has a breakdown. We’ll be back, boys, you just…do what you need to do.”

“Thank you.” Thundar bowed his head to the two young women as they took Brutus and headed to a line of nearby food stalls. “Alex…Khalik…why don’t we…” He inclined his head to the other side of the dock, a spot decidedly less crowded and free from folk pouring off the ship’s gangplank. “...head over there. It’s more private.”

“Fair enough…” Alex said, having a sudden inkling of what his friend’s strange behaviour was about. He fought back a smile. “Let’s go, then the only non-cabal ears that’ll hear us will be Claygon’s.”

The golem gave the minotaur a little wave, and Thundar sheepishly waved back.

“Indeed, we will keep our voices low.” Khalik grinned through his beard. “I could even send Najyah away if you find that you grow uncomfortable with her being in earshot. She is a girl, after all.”

Thundar made a rude noise with his lips. “Bah, now you’re just making fun of me.”

“As is our right,” the prince chuckled. “As you said, we are your friends.”

“So.” Alex tented his fingers before his broad chest, leaning toward Thundar conspiratorially.

The nervous minotaur looked up at him from his seat on a bollard. “So what?”

“This is about Kohana, isn’t it?” The young wizard declared.

“Keep your voice down!” Thundar hissed as the prince threw his head back and burst out laughing. “You don’t know if she’s here somewhere, what if she hears you?”

“Thundar, you’re being paranoid. Generasi’s enormous, and you don’t even know if she’s in the city right now. We’re technically still on winter break—Oh, right, that reminds me, we’re going to the hells in a couple of weeks.”

“Well, I don’t know, she could be anywhe—Wait, did you say going to the hells?” Thundar blinked.

“Oh yes,” Khalik said, and quickly explained the grand task that Baelin had set out for them.

The minotaur nodded along with his words, giving a big sigh when he was finished. “Well, that figures. Of course. No rest for the wicked, it’s off to the hells for us. I swear, that ancient goat’s going to kill us, one day.”

“Shhhh! Keep your voice down!” Alex said, his eyes darting back and forth. “You don’t if he’s around here!”

“Oh, now who’s being paranoid!”

“Look, there’s a much bigger chance of Baelin appearing out of nowhere than there is of Kohana just happening to be at the docks right now,” Alex pointed out.

“In any case.” Thundar held up his hands. “If we’re going to the hells, I’m definitely gonna ask her out before that. Definitely. Even if she says no, better I do it before some demon guts me.”

“Do not worry, Baelin will have his spell-marks upon us,” Khalik reassured him.

“All the same, I want this done in case something goes wrong, you know?” The minotaur said.

Alex’s mind flashed back to that fateful night at Patrizia dePaolo’s ball, where he’d confessed his love to Theresa before joining the battle against the monsters, so he well understood what Thundar meant.Their lives were dangerous and could possibly be short, and waiting for the perfect moment to act might never come.

“Right…” Alex said. “So, you want our help with this?”

“Yes, my absolutely mighty, handsome, loyal friends!” Thundar clasped his large hands before him. “By my ancestors, I need your help! I’ve been up for two nights straight just thinking about how to do it! I was this close to throwing myself in the sea by the time the ship got here!”

“Alright, alright, settle down.” Khalik patted the minotaur’s shoulder. “We will…help. Though, I do not know how we can. A confession of the heart or of interest should be done alone and from…well, from the heart, not filtered through the advice of fifteen advisors.”

“Yeah, that’s all good and fine for you to say, King Charisma.” Thundar glared at him. “You could probably talk a golem into going out with you, I’m not so good and fancy with the words.”

“Hey, back when I told Theresa how I felt, I wasn’t so good and fancy with the words either,” Alex said. “And let me tell you, man, I did it spontaneously and with words that felt right.” He tapped his chest. “Straight from the heart. It probably wasn’t the smoothest confession in the world, but sincerity goes a lot farther with most people than methodical planning.”

The minotaur turned his glare onto Alex. “Yeah, well, you had a childhood friend who’s been crazy about you for probably her whole life, which gave you an advantage that I don’t have.”

You probably could have vomited halfway through your confession and she would’ve been happy.”

“Hey…I resent how true that might be…uhm…did she really like me that much?” Alex asked, glancing at Khalik.

“There was a reason I helped you from the sidelines.” The prince winked. “If It was not obvious that she liked you, I would not have bothered.”

“Yeah, helping from the sidelines!” Thundar said. “That’s the thing I need.”

“My friend Thundar, helping to smooth…circumstances around you and your lady-friend is one thing,” Khalik said. “For example, if some boor was stumbling into your way, I could see distracting him. If you said words that you did not mean, I could see Alex and me helping you explain yourself to stop any escalating anger or embarrassment. But…if you want us to tell you what to say…is that truly what you want?”

“Yeah,” Thundar said. “Help me with phrasing. Help me think of the right circumstances, I’m so nervous, I’m ready to throw up.”

”Then I cannot see us helping with that,” Khalik said.

“I have to tell you, man, I agree.” Alex nodded. “That’d be like the three of us asking her out instead of just you, plus, I could see things going wrong if all of us tried putting our heads together over your feelings. I mean, there’s that old expression: too many cooks in the kitchen. And in the end, she’s a being with her own thoughts and desires. No matter what we do, whether or not she’s going to go out with you, is all up to her.”

“Alex, I don’t have rocks for brains, you don’t think I know that?” Thundar sighed, shaking his head. “Look, I get it. Asking her out is up to me, and her saying yes or no is up to her. I’m not naive, I know how it works. I also ain’t too naive about my chances. She’s older than me, sophisticated, as centred as a mountain in a storm, pretty, sexy, fit, smart. Honestly, if she’s not already seeing someone I’m gonna be shocked.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Then…why all the nerves? If anything, you’ve got a more mature handle on this than I did when I told Theresa.”

The minotaur looked him directly in the eyes, and for a moment, he seemed much older than he truly was. “Because, my friend, when you’re going to do something…you want to make sure you do it right, don’t you? Regret’s a nasty disease, and I don’t want it following me.”

He stood suddenly, rising to his full height, making Alex take a step back. Sometimes he forgot how tall Thundar actually was.

The minotaur’s nostrils flared. “Look. If I’m going to do this, I deserve to put myself out there at my best. And she deserves to get me at my best. That’s what I want help with, I say a lot of stupid shit. But not this time. No breakdowns. No stupid hijinks.”

When he looked down at them, for a moment, Alex saw the powerful leader of a cabal: a wizard and a warrior who would be talked about for generations. “Help me. Help me be my best.”

“You have my sword, my captain,” Khalik said instantly, his voice cracking with emotion.

“You have my staff,” Alex agreed.

‘And…my spear?’ Claygon added, hopefully.

And so it was that the boys of the cabal went into a new battle.