Diablo Destruction

"Master, please give me the secret to achieving love."

Phoenix raised his hands high, like a devout believer worshiping the god he believed in.

"oh?"

Seeing Phoenix's appearance, I let out a sigh. What's the secret? What secret do I have? Although it is true that I have three beautiful, gentle, and lovely wives, if I look back carefully, it is actually the process of developing a relationship. , I was passive or just took it easy, and I had no experience in picking up girls at all.

However, this does not prevent me from fooling Phoenix.

"Idiot, idiot, do you know that love is just one word, and how many people have sacrificed their lives, shed blood, and been dejected for it throughout the ages. The so-called sentimentality has been full of hatred since ancient times. How can it be so easy to cultivate into a positive fruit?"

Sitting on Xiaoxue's back, I looked down at Phoenix, his expression dignified and full of majesty. The prime minister's solemn face seemed to be emitting thousands of golden lights, and I couldn't help but worship him.

Although there are many "languages ​​from another world" mixed in his words, Phoenix has traveled half of the continent and is accustomed to seeing the customs and etiquette of the wanderers. Even the confused ones can understand him seven or eight points. It's very easy to understand. Obviously, under the inscrutable language and solemn atmosphere, he was swayed, Love Saint! This is the momentum of the Saint of Love! !

"Please master, please show the way to the ignorant."

Phoenix had a look of excitement on his face. With the guidance of a master, he would be able to avoid many detours. No wonder people are becoming more interested in apprenticeships these days. It seems that bidding farewell to the single life is just around the corner.

You are indeed a clueless fool. Didn't you understand what I meant? If you want to become a disciple these days, how about not giving a gift? As a last resort, I had to remind you loudly again.

"This unique secret was created by me with all my heart and soul. How can I teach it to outsiders so easily?"

This time. Even if Phoenix was being stupid, he understood what it meant. Thinking about it, if you want to learn from others, you have to be willing to do it first. He hurriedly rummaged through his inventory. After a while, he really couldn't find anything suitable. s things.

There's a lot inside. But in addition to the necessities for experience, most of them are some strange things that Phoenix has collected from various places he has traveled to, such as the fallen magician's ghost-headed staff, the ugly monster's 2:1 statue, Andariel's Simulated tentacles, moldy jam sandwich bread in various senses, etc. are rare, but not many of them are valuable.

Not to mention the remaining items and equipment. Maybe he could do it in front of ordinary adventurers, but he knew that in front of this upstart who even equipped his maid with golden equipment, it was simply rubbish among rubbish.

Can you give up so easily? Of course not. Don't forget who Phoenix is. He is so stubborn that he is not afraid of boiling water. He digs out all the messy and useless things he picked up on his journey and puts them on the ground, as if they are waiting for a price. He's incredibly thick-skinned.

Isn't he afraid that I will be unhappy and teach him random things, making him even more miserable? Forget it, if he could think of this with his IQ, he wouldn't be able to become a tragedy emperor.

"Where did these things come from?"

I looked at a few of the items inside with a strange expression. They looked so familiar.

"Oh, you also think these are good. I bought them from a businessman named Warif in Lugoin. He also gave me a 20% discount, so it's cheap, hahaha..." Phoenix smiled proudly. stand up.

"Did he also say that these gadgets were bought from an old carpenter? Now the old carpenter is dead, so there is only one set in the entire continent, but you can't buy it if you have money." I also laughed. .

"Yes, he did say that. But how did you know?"

All of a sudden. Phoenix looked at me with eyes that were full of respect and fear as if he were seeing a god descending to earth.

"Because he told me the same thing."

Phoenix: "..."

I:"……"

"Let's take a look at other things. I'm sure you haven't seen them before." Phoenix put away the ghost-headed staff, sculptures and tentacles without leaving a trace.

There are so many gadgets in it, and most of them are confusing. I really can’t say enough about this guy. With his hobbies and taste alone, I guess not many girls would dare to marry him.

So, I picked up a long strip of cloth with dark spots and asked, "What is this?"

I don’t know if it was an illusion, but when I picked up this long cloth, the eyelids of Princess Sanwu in my arms seemed to jump a few times, and then she turned her head away. Looking from the side, she saw the small mouth covered by the white veil. She moved and seemed to say something. This was already a big reaction for her who was usually indifferent. Could it be that it was really a good thing?

Phoenix, who had just been embarrassed, was eager to save face. When he heard my question, he immediately put a smile on his face.

"This is a good question. At first glance, it looks like it's just an ordinary cloth towel, but in fact..."

At this point, Phoenix kept it secret, and then raised his head mysteriously, as if he wanted to reveal some big secret. He nervously looked left and right several times, and after confirming that there was no one around, he spoke softly.

“According to the mysterious expert aunt who sold me this piece of cloth, this is the most important thing that every woman needs every month, from a little girl in her teens to a woman over a hundred years old. , is an excellent tool to please the girl you like..."

"puff--"

My eyes went black and I almost spit out a mouthful of blood. I quickly threw the cloth away and looked at the hand that had grabbed the cloth and wanted to cry. Oh my god, why did I know such an idiot? What on earth did I do? Damn it, being with this guy is indeed contagious to tragedy.

"water--"

Resisting the urge to beat Phoenix into a pig's head, I spat out a few words through my teeth. I felt that the body of Princess Sanwu in my arms seemed to be trembling slightly, as if it was very hard to endure.

"Brother Wu Fan, what are you doing? This is a very important thing to me. I am going to give it to my sweetheart as a proposal gift." Phoenix quickly caught the cloth. There is a look of resentment on your face that you don't know the good stuff.

Should I start with the "elusive and mysterious expert aunt" who sells cloth strips? "Is that the aunt who used it? She dried it before selling it to you, right?" I complained to him like this? Or should I give this bastard a lesson on physiology first, and then tell him that if he uses this piece of cloth as a proposal gift, it will definitely lead to another tragedy? Forget it, I'm too lazy to say anything. Even if I did, this guy could be tragic in other ways.

Phoenix - a guy whose whole body is full of complaints, and I don’t know how to complain even when the complaint mode is fully turned on. What a terrible person in a sense.

When I denied the messy things on the ground one by one, and the bitterness on Phoenix's face became thicker, a stone came into my sight. The color and shape of the stone made me unconsciously compare it with After killing Duriel, the small half diamond-shaped stone obtained from the altar in the lava cave behind is connected together.

ah! ! I forgot to tell the miser about the magic door behind the altar. Only then did I remember, but it would not be too late to go back and tell him later.

"Where did this thing come from?"

I weighed the piece of gravel in my hand and tossed it a few times. The unique feel that seemed rough but was actually smooth made me more certain that these should be fragments of the same thing. I finally found the original piece of diamond-shaped gravel in the corner of the inventory. I pieced the two stones together, but the faults didn't match at all. It seemed that there should be a lot of fragments.

"I don't have any impression. I probably bought the land from some stall." I learned from the past. Phoenix can no longer brag.

"Okay, let's take this stone. Also, you owe me a big favor. You have to repay me in the future." I casually stuffed the two stones back into the inventory.

"ah!?"

Phoenix's face immediately turned bitter. It wasn't until I said that I would only let him do what he could, that he nodded in agreement with a smile on his face. Looking at him as if he didn't care about anything for a woman, it seemed that finding a wife was no longer just for the sake of it. My own sexual life has risen to strange aspects such as dignity, the survival of mankind, the destruction of the universe, and so on.

"Okay, then I will teach you the secret of love."

"Master's great kindness, Phoenix will never be able to repay it." Listen to me. Phoenix was so happy that he almost cried. He is such a tragic guy. I seriously doubt that he has ever held a girl’s hand.

"You come with me."

I glanced at Princess Sanwu, jumped down, and called Phoenix to come to a tree from a distance. Those who didn't know better thought we were going to do underground work.

Sorry, little Princess Sanwu just knew what that long cloth was. Not even a reminder. It's embarrassing for me. How can she continue to listen to this man's talk?

"Okay. Before I teach you, let me ask a question first. Do you have to find an elf beauty?" After sitting down under the tree, I started the teaching course.

"It's not necessarily the case. It's just that there are so many beautiful elves in front of me. It would be a pity not to pursue them." Phoenix firmly believes that what's in the pot is not as good as what's in the bowl, and what's in the bowl is not as good as what's in your mouth. To put it simply, it's the principle of proximity. To put it simply, you are hungry and don’t choose what to eat.

"In my opinion, I don't approve of you marrying an elf girl." I said solemnly.

"Why?"

"Look, all the elves have long ears. What if the children you give birth to have different ears in the future?"

Look at how kind-hearted I am, even my descendants have considered it for Phoenix. Of course, this kind of thing is impossible to happen, but in the Dark Continent that lacks popular science knowledge, it is enough to scare people.

"That makes sense, then... what should we do?"

Phoenix panicked. All he could think about was picking up girls, so how could he think about it so deeply.

"You are stupid. Isn't there a great goal in front of you? It's just that you haven't cherished it." I hated Tie Bu Cheng Gang and knocked him on the head.

"Oona, barmaid Oona, she is the easiest target, you idiot."

"No, I have been pursuing her for two years."

"Then your method is too bad. I think she also likes you. Come on, attach her ears. As long as you do this, and if you do this again... I guarantee that everything will happen naturally."

"Master!!" Phoenix had tears in his eyes, holding my hand and shaking it.

"Come on, I'm optimistic about you." I patted his shoulder with a sincere look on my face.

"Under the guidance of the great sage Wu Fan, the tragedy emperor Phoenix finally embarked on the final tragic path of no return. The gears of fate began to turn, and no one could stop him."

"Eh? Brother Wu, what are you talking about?" Phoenix, who had already walked dozens of meters away, suddenly turned around and asked, with an innocent smile still on his face.

"nothing?"

I wiped away the cold sweat, almost exposed, this guy's ears are quite pointy.

Afterwards, I did some research and found out that the only reason why Phoenix failed to win over the 258 elf girls was because the first elf girl he targeted was a 13-year-old little lolita, so his reputation as a nymphomaniac was Word spread among the elves that no other elven girl dared to accept him.

One wrong move and everything is lost. This is the tragedy of Lolicon...