Bye-Bye

I skipped breakfast. When I ate with Sung-hyun for a few days, I didn’t feel stuffy and was fine, but today, my stomach was not feeling well from the moment I woke up.

Ugh.

As soon as I covered my mouth and became nauseated, the gangster-like brother dashed out to the hallway and called the doctor.  The doctor tried several times to change the menu, but I still couldn’t eat anything. I eventually left with only the fruit because it was worse to force myself to eat. I ate a piece of apple and lied down because I couldn’t eat anymore.

Originally, the company should be busy checking documents at this time…

Now I’m unemployed. I couldn’t believe I was leaving the company.

My mind was complicated.

It seemed that I had resigned hastily, but there was no other way. Now was the time to be completely stable.

Even if Kongkongi goes wrong, I have no intention of looking for work again.

My belly was still flat.

If you search for ’13 weeks belly size’, it definitely came out bigger than this. I have to keep eating…

I thought I should eat something, so I stood up and ate the apple. I took a bite and murmured to myself, thinking of Choi Sung-hoon.

He said he would come today at 4 o’clock. There were still ten hours left. It seems a bit too much.

You said you liked me. You said you wanted to get married. Could you have left your position for this long because you were getting ready to propose? How long has it been? You went out on Sunday, and now… How can you abandon me for 5 days, rather than 5 hours?

I chewed on Choi Sung-hoon while eating an apple.

Vibrate vibrate.

Just then, I got a call from Choi Sung-hoon. The timing pleasantly surprised me. I used to believe that even if I grumbled a lot on the inside, I should never complain on the outside. Even if it doesn’t cheer up the hard worker on the weekend, a jobless person who was lying in bed all day shouldn’t make the hard worker feel tired.

I cleared my voice and answered the call in a bright voice.

“Yes, Choi Sung-hoon ssi. You haven’t left yet?”

– Seo-yu ssi, I heard you skipped breakfast this morning.

“Ah… No, I’m not. I’m currently eating an apple. Choi Sung-hoon ssi, have you eaten?”

– Do you have a stomach ache? If you feel pain, tell me right away. You must never hide it.

My stomach continued to hurt. I even woke up because of the pain. Choi Sung-hoon told me to call the doctor right away if I felt even the slightest pain, so I always press the nurse call button right away. Nonetheless, the nurses showed no signs of annoyance.

“It’s just a natural symptom of morning sickness. Guess you haven’t boarded the plane yet? When are you coming?”

– We’ll be leaving soon. I am sorry for being late.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m worried that you’re cramming too much into your schedule for no reason. You can take a little more time to rest. Since you’ve traveled so far, why not go sightseeing? Relieve your fatigue in other countries and enjoy yourself slowly and leisurely.”

– … Does that mean it’s okay to be late?

“Yes, I’m okay. For about 30 minutes.”

– …

“You’ve come a long way, and it’s a shame you only go there to work. If there’s a festival, go see it, buy something delicious, and so on.”

– 30 minutes.

“I can give you five more minutes if you want.”

In fact, I was going to give him 20 minutes, but I wrote it with my heart open. To be honest, he could see and buy everything he needed to see.

When I said it shamelessly, Choi Sung-hoon chuckled and hung up the phone, saying I’ll see you at the hospital. I also smiled as I hung up the phone and made eye contact with one of the gangster-like brothers.

He had a strange expression on his face. It was a strange expression, neither smiling nor crying, as if the television had suddenly said, ‘Hello, I’m your TV,’ which I could understand. Because I had the call volume set to maximum, he most likely heard both his psycho boss and my call. Choi Sung-hoon, who was not human, drips with honey when he treats me, so he might be surprised.

Feeling better, I ate an apple at once. I also ate dinner while I was at it. It was clear beef radish soup, dried radish, grilled mackerel, and mixed grain rice. I couldn’t eat the dried radish or the grilled mackerel, but the beef radish soup was delicious and went well with the mixed grain rice.

After eating so excitedly, I threw it up not long after. The gangster-like brother with a neck tattoo patted my back, but it was too soft to be of any additional help. I thought it was a drop of water.

When I became sluggish and lay down on the bed, the gold-toothed gangster-like brother came with a nurse. The nurse went out after adjusting the IV.

I covered myself with a blanket to the end of my head and stroked my flat stomach. This was the reason I was concerned about how to gain weight.

I felt sorry for Kongkongi. Because of me. It happened by chance to me, and it hadn’t even been born yet, but I only made it suffer.

It was all my fault.

I’d like to be alone. I don’t like the gangster-like brother watching me. I couldn’t do anything because I was aware that I was being watched. I must inform Choi Sing-hoon when he arrives…

I looked at the time, and it was still 11 am.

That’s too much. The time doesn’t seem to go by.

I was so annoyed that I throw my phone.

“Seo-yu-nim, are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing.”

I answered with the blanket covered.

I want to be alone.

I went to the internet and searched ‘I want to be alone’. After reading a few blog posts, I also searched for ‘My stomach is too flat’.

When does the fetal development period begin? I’m hoping Kongkongi will move quickly. Then I think I could realize that I was not alone. I don’t like being alone.

I was stroking my stomach and thinking dazedly when someone knocked on the door of the hospital room.

I jumped up.

Was it Choi Sung-hoon?

“Who is it.”

The gangster-like brother opened the door. I glanced at the open door.

“Are you staying here?”

A tall woman came in. I and the gangster-like brothers were surprised.

“Hello, writer.”

“When I thought there was no one outside, it turned out that everyone was inside. Take good care of the child.”

The gangster-like brothers bowed down at Choi Sung-hoon’s mother. Mother naturally ordered the gangster-like brothers to go out for a while. I almost left with them because it felt so natural. Mother took off her glasses and put them in the glasses case and asked me.

“I heard you fainted. Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine now. Please sit down.”

I got up and tried to go down the bed, but mother told me to just lie down. I couldn’t lie down, so I just sat up with my upper body up. Mother was wearing a thick coat, but she didn’t take it off or sit in the chair.

“I’ll be leaving soon, so don’t feel pressured. I came for a regular checkup and stopped by.”

“A checkup? Where are you hurting?”

“I’ve been stopping by once a year since the third miscarriage because it’s been getting worse here and there.”

“Ah…”

I don’t know how to react. I bowed my head and said sorry.

Knowing that mother hates me makes me feel like I’m sitting on a thorny cushion. I wondered if she had brought up the subject of miscarriage on purpose.

“It’s time for Director Choi to come, so I’m leaving soon. I don’t want to run into him.”

“He said he wouldn’t arrive at the hospital until four o’clock…”

“Yeah, only 20 minutes left.”

I was taken aback when I heard that. When I looked at the clock on the wall, and it was 3.40 p.m. I thought the watch on my phone was broken, so I looked again and it was 3.40 p.m. Wasn’t it just 11 a.m a moment ago?

These symptoms were not good.

“Yu-ya, your lips are bleeding. ‘m not trying to scold you, so don’t worry. Was I too fierce?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s a habit.”

“It’s a bad habit. Yous should fix it.”

I’ve lived like this for 28 years, how can I fix it? She doesn’t like me, so I’m guessing she doesn’t like me biting my lips for a few moments.

“Yes, I will try.”

“Is Director Choi good to you?”

“Of course. To the point, I think it’s a bit too much.”

“Sung-hyun said that. You are busy exchanging messages, making video calls, and chattering day and night.”

“It’s mostly right, but we don’t make a fuss.”

“I see what you mean. Sung-hyun has a tendency to exaggerate.”

The look on mother’s face that show she knew it, made me want to talk to Choi Sung-hoon on the phone right away.

“Is it true that you are exchanging messages? Video calls too? I’ve heard your fetus’s name is Kongkongi but does Director Choi really call it Kongkongi?”

“Yes, it’s all true.”

“Don’t lie. I won’t believe it until I see it with my own eyes.”

Mother glanced at the phone in my hand. She obviously wants to see it so much.

“I’m telling the truth. Would you like to see it?”

Mother tilted her head and her eyes twinkling, as I opened the message window with Choi Sung-hoon. I smiled when I noticed how much she resembled Sung-hyun.

Sung-hoon ssi♥ [Rather than Kongkongi, I’ll buy something you’ll enjoy eating.] 

Sung-hoon ssi♥ [Can I make a video call?]

Sung-hoon ssi♥ [Call me when you’re done washing up.]

Mother glanced down once with an expressionless face.

“Did Director Choi also save your name with a heart on it?”

“I’m not sure what he saved me as. I’m curious as well.”

I’ve never thought about it, but I’m really curious. I’ll have to take a look when he arrives.

“It’s good to see Director Choi trying very hard to become a person in front of you. I never imagined this day would come.”

Mother handed me back the phone and looked at the wall clock. She seemed anxious about running into Choi Sung-hoon.

“As you know, Director Choi has an insensitive side. He hasn’t acted like a normal human since he was a child. I also have an indifferent personality, but Director Choi was even worse. I suggested counseling, but he didn’t listen. He appears to be trying hard to be a good person in front of you, but you’ve probably felt the same way. There are some aspects of him that are not human.”

“… ”

I did not answer hastily. I couldn’t nod or shake my head. All I could do was listen.

I would have agreed in the past. But now I’m not sure I could cry when I was sad because he was the only person who comforted me with kindness and warmth…

“I didn’t know the day would come when Director Choi loved someone.”

I had heard it several times, but the weight was so different.

“Sadness, suffering, fear, anger and hate, joy and happiness. I’m also worried about knowing love in the first place without knowing such basic emotions. But love will eventually teach you all that emotions.”

“I think you’re overestimating it. There is no guarantee that it will last forever.”

“From the start, director Choi chose a difficult subject.”

Mother smiled while I couldn’t. Choi Sung-hoon appears to have feelings for likes, but those around him gave it too much meaning.

When it was 3.50 p.m, mother grabbed the doorknob without hesitation.

“I have to go before we run into each other. Take good care of yourself, and don’t tell him I was here.”

“Yes, goodbye.”

“Oh.”

Mother paused before opening the door and leaving.

“Seo-yu, you don’t read group chat rooms like Director Choi?”

“No, I read it. I check it often.”

“Then why are you so quiet? He’s upset, so even if it annoys you, give him an answer now and then.”

“…Yes.”

I haven’t said a word since I was invited to Choi Sung-hoon’s family chat room, but father must have been very offended.

After telling me to be healthy, Mother hurriedly left. A loud greeting could be heard outside the door. Mother sternly ordered the gangster-like brothers to keep the fact that she had visited today a secret.

I was lying in bed, blinking, and then I picked up my cell phone. In the family chat room, only the names of father and Sung-hyun were visible. Mother would sometimes respond as well.  The most recent conversation was five minutes ago.

Choi Sung-hoon’s father [Sung-hoon is coming back today?]

Sung-hyun [Hyung said he would arrive around four o’clock]

Choi Seong-hoon’s father [Shall we eat out to celebrate? >.< Near the center]

Choi Sung-hoon’s father [Kongkongi also needs to eat something delicious other than hospital food.]

There was a 99% chance that ‘center’ refers to the ○○ Omega Center where I am now hospitalized.

Sung-hyun [It seems that only the two of us will eat again.]

Choi Sung-hoon’s father [Sung-hoon-ah, call me when you see it>0<] 

Choi Seong-hoon was the only one who didn’t read the message while his mother checked it on the way out.

Father was looking for a link similar to this [#Omega Center Restaurant] and found one. He also searched for menus that early pregnant person could eat. Seeing him contemplating alone on which menu would be good, I answered without even consulting with the doctor Choi Sung-hoon had assigned, and without considering my symptoms of morning sickness.

[Wow, it looks delicious. I’ll make sure to eat with Choi Sung-hoon ssi! Hehehe.] 

The chat window appeared after I sent that message. When I saw my father’s message that he would make a reservation right away by sending a character emoticon to play the tambourine, a realization came to me.

‘I wonder if this was the purpose of mother’s visit today’…