Bye-Bye

< Sojin Business Support Section Chief Seo-yu > 

At the age of 28, I was appointed as a representative. It felt awkward and strange to be addressed as section chief Seo.

I guess I should still be called as a student. I’m not an adult at all.

I couldn’t be happy because I was promoted as a result of the resignation of the former section chief who had an affair, and I hope my family knows that their immature youngest was given the title of section chief.

So promotion was meaningless. Cause there was no one to be happy with anymore.

I roughly threw my business card holder in my bag. The boss came in while I was cleaning my desk.

“Now, now. Everyone. Let’s eat some beef and part right away. Have a good time.”

The boss, who had been in the office since Tuesday, was always relaxed. He would have been the perfect boss if he had been more interested in the company’s internal affairs…

Speaking of bosses, it reminds me of Choi Sung-hoon… I told him that I would let him know when he need to come to pick me up because I had a company dinner today. We didn’t promise to meet on the weekend, but it was already set in stone, even if we don’t tell each other. That’s how it was been all along. I think we’ll go to the hotel tonight as well.

“This is my first time having a dinner with both the logistics team and the office team.”

“Oh, is that so? After all, it’s been a year for us.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen the boss come to work four days a week.”

“He won’t be here again from next week. It’s good for us.”

The staff and the other section chief got up with their bags. I followed them as well.

The company dinner took place directly across the street from the company, at a meat restaurant. It’s the best Korean beef restaurant, but I didn’t eat much because I didn’t have much of an appetite, possibly because my mouth was torn.

Food doesn’t taste good these days. I don’t think I’ll have any appetite unless I have the extremely dominant Alpha with a scar on his cheek in front of me.

“Seo-yu ssi, why aren’t you eating? Are you sick?”

“No, it’s just…”

“What? Seo-yu ssi can’t eat it? Shall we eat rib eye? I’d like to have rib eye here.”

The boss ordered rib eye on his own.

The red glossy rib eye has arrived. I don’t have much of an appetite, so I don’t particularly crave the finest Korean beef rib eye. However, I feel bad if I don’t eat it, so I’ll have to eat a little of it.

“Seo-yu ssi, eat well. Eat a lot and gain some weight. Okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you before.”

I just nodded. My mouth was full of meat and it was difficult to speak.

“Our office and logistics teams all worked very hard, and I apologize for the lack of company dinners and year-end parties due to our hectic workload. Let’s have more of these events this year. Cheers, all together.”

This was something the boss always says, and it was a quarterly gathering. That’s why it was enjoyable.

Today, we just ate and the company dinner was over. Without exaggeration, everyone smiled as they parted in a pleasant atmosphere. The boss, who has two kids, packed two sets of Korean beef for four people to give to the kids.

I called Choi Sung-hoon on the way back to work.

“Sung-hyung, it’s over now. Come pick me up.”

– Have you been drinking?

“I had a drink.”

– I’m leaving now. It’ll take 20 minutes, so go inside somewhere warm place.

“It’s snowing, so drive safely.”

I hung up the phone and used the key to enter the dimly lit office. I crept around like a thief, taking out toothpaste and a toothbrush.

I wasn’t planning on eating much, but the boss kept adding rib eye… I don’t eat garlic with beef, but he packed me a garlic wrap…. I’ll meet my crush after brushing my teeth.

I brushed my teeth, sprayed perfume, and went down to the first floor. As I exited the lobby, I noticed Ho-in had noticed me in the cafe and beckoned. It was like a puppy waving its tail at its owner who was hiding behind a wall.

I left the building after showing my palm in the sense of “Wait a minute.” In front of the company, there is an uncle who sells fish-shaped buns every winter. Last year, a thousand won was for four buns, but this year, thousand won was for three.

I entered the cafe with two envelopes in both hands.

Ho-in was just giving drinks to customers. I waited in the back and approached after the customer left.

“Eat these fish-shaped buns. There are only two red beans and two custard cream, and they are delicious.”

“Ah…”

Ho-in was overjoyed when he saw the envelope I was holding out.

He asked the staff to organize and came out of the counter. We sat at a table by the window.

“Thank you so much…I’ll eat well…”

Ho-in’s eyes were teary and embarrassed after receiving an envelope containing fish-shaped buns. What is this… 

“It reminds me of the past. Four years ago… Even then, you gave me fish-shaped buns.”

“Am I?”

“Seo-yu ssi may not remember because you were drunk.”

He smiled affectionately as he clutched the bag of fish-shaped buns. Then he started telling me about my dark past.

“Probably… It was also the day of the gathering. Seo-yu was also a new employee at the time, and I had just started my own business. I was finishing up by myself when a cute-looking young office worker entered, smelling of alcohol, and ordered a warm iced Americano. He was also requesting a large amount of whipped cream. When he finished paying, he left without waiting for the drink. I was really flustered because it was my first time experiencing it…”

“Yes… I’m flustered too…”

“You also sound like a drunk, but you returned while I was debating whether I should keep making drinks. You’re holding a white envelope. You were sitting at the table and kept nodding. When the drink arrived, you staggered, walked over, handed over the envelope, and said this. “Fish-shaped buns sweet red bean paste and custard cream taste so good.” Then you left while I was staring at the steaming hot fish-shaped bun. I topped the hot Americano with whipped cream and served it with ice.”

Ho-in softly smiles, as if recalling a nostalgic and affectionate memory, but I am sober right now and want to leave.

“From then on, I…”

His voice was so low that I couldn’t hear it.

From then on, I… what? From then on, I know that you were an idiot?

I shouldn’t ask…

“I am ashamed. I’m usually a strong drinker, but I guess I was drunk then.”

“You were cute. Really.”

Ho-in smiled with his eyes curved, but he looked lonely somehow. To be honest, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him smile brightly. Was he having difficulties at work these days?

“Are you meeting with that Alpha today as well?”

“Yes, I am waiting for him to come to pick me up.”

When I looked out the window, I noticed a familiar limousine approaching.

Arrived as soon as I thought about it. As expected, it’s fate.

Limousine means that there was a separate driver today. I have to give the fish-shaped buns to the driver.

“He has arrived just now. I’ll get going. Ho-in ssi, hurry up and go home as well.”

“…Tomorrow too… You would spend it with him, right?”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“It’s good to see you around these days, Seo-yu ssi. Until now… You look like the best person I’ve met in 4 years… You seem to be the happiest I’ve seen in the last four years… And with that, I…”

Ho-in drew a sad smile as he gripped the bag of the fish-shaped buns.

I said my goodbyes and walked out, sweeping my goosebumps arm. I’m not sure why I feel creeped out when he says he likes it because I look happy.

* * *

– Exhibition? You?

I decided to go to the exhibition this Friday.

Choi Sung-hoon handed me a ticket while I was waiting for a room service meal on Sunday lunch. On Friday evening, I’d like to attend an exhibition.

I’ve been dating people who were 20 years older than me, but Choi Sung-hoon was the first to take me to an exhibition. Neither the professor nor the doctoral candidate has ever taken me to such a lofty place, but the person who looks the most distant from the exhibition has.

So, when I told Won-jo, this was his reaction.

– What kind of exhibition is it? If it is a dildo exhibition, it is acceptable.

“Are you kidding? It’s a Picasso exhibition, you stupid bastard.”

‘Is it a human anatomy exhibition or a body organ exhibition?’

‘… It’s a Picasso exhibition.’

Choi Sung-hoon wriggled around his mouth when I asked a similar question. So I came home yesterday and spent an hour searching only about Picasso.

“Do you know what Picasso drew? He’s such a great painter. He is a 20th-century Spanish painter whose most famous work is <The Young Ladies of Avignon>.”

– That sounds very obscene.

“Ugh… You ignorant bastard.”

– Spain and whatever, calm down, you idiot. That bastard is playing with you. He just wants to see your reactions.

“What’s wrong with playing with me? As long as I’m having fun and a good time as well.”

– Yeah, if that’s the case. Don’t call me later while you’re cursing at him.

“I won’t. Do you have any news about your relationship?”

– I don’t know, damn it. Have all high-quality men gone into hibernation?

“When I get to meet Choi Sung-hoon, I’ll ask him to introduce you to a friend.”

– Don’t say something scary.

Won-jo is a friend who would buy spicy tteokbokki when his friend’s mouth is completely worn out. I considered it, but whenever I mentioned him, Choi Sung-hoon’s voice became cold, as if he truly despised Won-jo.

I had hung up by the time I got home. Choi Sung-hoon had been driving me home lately, but I was walking alone today, so it was very cold and lonely.

Choi Sung-hoon has something more important than a sex partner like me. He said he was going to India right now, then to China the day after tomorrow, and then to meet me on Friday.

I hope Friday comes soon…

When we meet this time, I should ask him out…

I’m not sure he’d want to go out with me.

Only good things have happened since meeting Choi Sung-hoon, and I am happy. However, I dislike it when I am unable to have sex as a result of a hasty confession.

He was the only extremely dominant Alpha in my life who invited me to the Picasso exhibition, and I think it would be very sad if the relationship ended in this way.

Even if we’re actually dating… that’s another matter. Maybe I won’t forget these days until I die. This winter will be a beautiful and warm memory for the rest of my life, so I don’t want to rush the end.

But I want to go out with him. I want to proudly say that Choi Sung-hoon is my lover.

Wouldn’t it be an amazing experience to burn love so short and thick… To be honest, I’m not even planning on getting married…

While thinking about dating, I got closer to my house and noticed a man walking around. For a brief moment, I mistook him for Choi Sung-hoon, but he was only half the size of Choi Sung-hoon.

“Ah, Seo-yu. You just got home now.”

Park Jin-cheol was a muscular man half the size of Choi Sung-hoon. Park Jin-cheol approached me while smoking a cigarette. I furrowed my brow.

“What? Why are you in front of my house?”

“I came because I couldn’t contact you at all.”

“Why you are unable to contact me? Don’t you get it?”

“You’re still arrogant.”

Park Jin-cheol, who dyed his hair light brown when we were dating, now had a two-toned appearance because the roots had turned black. I used to like it because it was unusual to see a slightly flashy appearance, but now I can’t stand looking at it.

It was the first time I met a lover my own age, so there were a lot of new experiences. Even though it ended with the conclusion that I needed a mature alpha who could embrace my flaws.

“How was the memorial service?”

“It’s been a while since it ended. It was last year.”

“Seeing you being so arrogant, you must have had a lover.”

“Of course. Did you expect me to be alone while missing you up until now?”

While I was busy preparing for the memorial service, Park Jin-cheol broke up with me with the message [I don’t think you and I are right, let’s break up]. Although my frivolous behavior was the cause of the breakup, there was no reason not to be arrogant towards the ex-boyfriend who made the rude breakup.

“Take a look at what you’re saying. You’re still choosing words that make you look cheap.”

I shuddered. I believe I simply said it normally, but some words were sounded problematic.

“I told you to get rid of that habit. It bothers me. Do you want to stop seeing everyone you were seeing now?”

“… I didn’t do anything. It’s because you said it rudely.”

I think I was arrogant with Choi Sung-hoon from the beginning…

I was intimidated, and my voice grew smaller on its own.

Park Jin-cheol approached me with an arrogant expression after noticing my change.

“There’s nothing wrong with saying that only one fucker who’s going to poke a hole in this shit..”

“It has nothing to do with you who says or does what… And if he’s simply a fucker, then you’re a fucking fucker. Go away if you don’t have anything to say. It’s a  waste of time.”

“Are you going to continue to be arrogant like that, even with that rose bouquet? Don’t you know that we broke up because of that?”

Rose? He was looking at my profile picture.

“Do you know that whenever you see alpha, you’re an Omega that is ready to spread out your holes?”

“… What does that have to do with you?”

“Don’t you get tired of trembling in front of a dickhead?”

“Damn it, I don’t care if I tremble or not. Are you checking to see if I’ve found a new lover? Why do you keep changing the subject when you’re only going to say the damn thing? Did your brain get ripped off?”

In a quiet alley, only my voice could be heard. Park Jin-cheol, who had been silent for some time, rubbed his cigarette roughly against the wall and laughed distortedly. It wasn’t frightening; he was just like a bully.

“Don’t you have that video with me?”

“What video?”

“You swallowed my semen and coughed while sucking my dick. You were so cute.”

Haa, so this was what they referred to as revenge porn.

It was time for me to laugh. I looked the poor guy in the eyes and laughed out loud.

“Don’t you know I also have a video?”

“… What?”

“Your dick fell out in three minutes when I turned my back from the top. At first, I thought you had a disease. I was very truly worried.”

I am a person who has mastered hidden camera threats. I’ve been through it numerous times since I was a teen, so I know how to deal with it. I didn’t actually record a hidden camera video, but if I say it like this, they’ll believe it. They believe that because they actually filmed it, others will as well.

“T-this rag doesn’t even know anything!”

“Why? You want to hit me? Hit me, you bastard!”

I didn’t get scared and point out my right cheek. The guy in front of me raised his fist and punched me without hesitation.

Puck, I heard a sound and my head turned. The area under the eyes and around the cheekbones throbbed.

“You are nothing more than a rag…”

I closed my eyes because I thought his fist would fly again. As expected, he slapped my other cheek.

This bastard put his ring on and punched me in the face…

“We broke up because of you, so why are you making me a bad person, damn it.”

The things he said while beating were bullshit.

My right cheekbone and left temple were both hits. I was afraid the ring would scratch me and cause me to bleed.

My eyes were spinning. I managed to avoid the third fist, but it was aimed at my eyes, so I would have been in big trouble if I had been hit.

I kicked Park Jin-cheol’s knee really hard. He screamed and looked at me.

I wasn’t scared at all.

My shoulders were shaking not because I was afraid.

“If you hit me again, I’ll call the police right away.  You know I’m acting in self-defense because you lifted your hand first, right? That car has a black box.”

Park Jin-cheol breathed out vigorously.

“As you said, we break up because of me. But fuck it, it’s not necessarily my fault. What should I do when I see myself being controlled by pheromones because I am extremely recessive? If you’re a lover, don’t you think it’s right that you should have read and comforted me in that situation?”

“To who do you think you transferring the responsibility now…”

“I think you came because you just wanted to hit Omega again. … Just go. Before I report it.”

I didn’t look at Park Jin-cheol.

Park Jin-cheol would occasionally hit me during sex or when he was angry, but I never sat still and ripped off this jerk’s thigh or punched him in the stomach. Park Jin-cheol has a better physique than me, but he’s the same height as me, so hitting him quite a bit.

He probably thought I’d retaliate right away even now. But, aside from kicking his knee, I didn’t raise my hand.

He just lowered his head and looked away.

“Go. I don’t want to get attached to you anymore.”

The area where I had been hit was throbbing. I think I’m going to get a black bruise tomorrow.

I suddenly realized that I might not be able to meet Choi Sung-hoon until Friday as a result of this.

As expected, it was also fate.

Laughter leaked out of the embarrassment.

“You…”

Park Jin-cheol, who was struggling for breath, spoke up.

“When we meet for work…”

“Don’t worry. Just pretend we don’t know each other.”

“Video too.”

“If you don’t spread it, I won’t spread it either.”

Park Jin-chul’s rough breathing calmed down, possibly because my response was reassuring.

He walked right past me.

I looked at the back of Park Jin-cheol as he walked down the dark alley.

After a while, I went home.

I left all of the lights on, and there was loud entertainment on TV, but the house was cold and quiet.

I glanced at the massage chair and entered the master bedroom.

I was lying in the big bed where my parents were sleeping. My father’s magnifying glasses and my mother’s Bible were by the bedside.

My parents and older brother left the youngest son, who was a recessive Omega with a bad brain and no railroad, too quickly. They suddenly made him independent while raising him with all kinds of love.

Even though I’m 28 years old, whenever I want to eat, I still look for my parents and brother.

Everything has an end.

Love cools down.

I once considered marrying Park Jin-cheol. But it eventually comes to this. It’s always my fault in the end.

It was repulsive enough to hit.

My face throbbed.

“I told you to get rid of that habit. It bothers me. Do you want to stop seeing everyone you were seeing now?”

Park Jin-cheol’s words lingered in my ears like tinnitus.

I mean, Park Jin-cheol showed up on the day Choi Sung-hoon didn’t take me home, and when the bruises faded, Choi Sung-hoon cae back… It was like a divine revelation. Don’t be arrogant or overly enthusiastic by yourself…

To be honest, I want to tell Choi Sung-hoon a lot of things about how I was beaten by my ex-boyfriend. I want to send a picture of the bruise and tell him on the phone that something like this happened. Then I realized I was too old to be acting that way.

Even the timing was perfect…

I usually call before bed every day, but not today. Choi Sung-hoon was on his way to China at the time. It was perfect timing.

My face was burning, and my fever was rising.

First and foremost, the most serious issue was that my face would be a total mess the next day. I got up with a sigh and prepared an ice pack.