Before My Withering

The living room was so quiet that I could hear my own breathing. 

Zhou Chen took out a small pill bottle from his pocket and poured a pill for me. I ate slowly for a while before I managed to feel more comfortable. 

“Is Qi Shu looking for me?” I asked, clutching my pillow.    

Zhou Chen reassured, “It’s safe here, don’t be afraid.”

I couldn’t help being afraid.     

Scars still littered on my body up to this day, a steady reminder of what had happened to this body of mine.    

There were also certain moments where I unconsciously protected my belly, but it also reminded me that I once had Qi Shu’s child and had lost him because of Qi Shu.

The suture of my wound next to the eyebrow was just removed a few days ago. Whenever I see myself in the mirror every morning, I could spot the ugly scar meandering on my forehead.

If Qi Shu could see me, he’d definitely lose interest in me forever.

He spared Wen Yan and Wen Ziqing, but he was willing to do this to me.

Something suddenly occurred to me. I asked Zhou Chen, “Did I give you trouble…”

“As I said, you don’t have to think about this.” Zhou Chen didn’t really care. “If he had another way, he wouldn’t talk to me on the phone.”

I hope so. 

Zhou Shen didn’t go out for the next few days. I only sprained my foot, and there were servants and housekeepers at home, yet he still had to look at me personally. 

He’d decided that I was a crippled and careless buffoon with a negative self-care ability of level 10. I couldn’t argue.

When my foot finally got better, Zhou Chen came back one day and dragged a large box out of the car. The butler carefully helped move the box to the living room. Zhou Chen stood next to me and said, “Open it and have a look.”

So huge, what could it be?    

After unpacking the box, a glossy walnut wood case was revealed inside. 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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When my fingers glided on the smooth and exquisite surface of the instrument, I seemed to hear the years flowing on top, and the cells all over my whole body revived following the musical notes in my mind.

As it turns out, I still have something I love passionately.  

“Like it.” I looked up at Zhou Chen. “Is this for me?”

He froze for a moment, averted his gaze slightly unnaturally, and said, “Consider it my early present for you…”

There were no recent holidays, and after thinking about it, he reluctantly said, “Children’s Day present.”

After the surprise, I suddenly felt uneasy. 

This instrument seemed rare. Zhou Chen said it was taken, it probably cost a lot of money.

“It’s too expensive. I…”

 “It’s expensive but it puts you in a good mood.” He interrupted me, “If you really feel ashamed of it, you can pay it back by performing for me.”

I was about to say something, but he butted, “But not today, it’s too late. You should take a rest.” 

Before going to bed, I still couldn’t hold back and tuned the strings, then played a melody on the balcony of my room.

This was an excellent instrument, producing a mellow and distant sound, which also had a unique texture sedimented by long years. Judging from my shallow experience, it had been around for at least two centuries.    

The summer night was peaceful, and outside the window was Zhou Chen’s rose garden. He once said that the fragrance of flowers was meaningless, but I think it did have some meaning. 

Such as now for instance. If I close my eyes, I could feel the warm scent carried by the wind.   

I think I kinda like roses.

The next afternoon, I performed to Zhou Chen a cello piece by a Japanese musician I liked very much. 

The golden sunshine graced him, and among the flowing notes, I heard the resonance from the depths of his heart.

——This is the super ability of every musician, capturing the vibration of the same frequency in the vast crowd.

Zhou Chen’s brows and eyes were very good-looking. I once felt familiarity when I saw him, probably because they somewhat resembled Qi Shu.

But now I know they’re different, because there existed calmness and gentleness Qi Shu would never have. 

At the climax of the piece, I held the bow and gave him a gentleman’s salute.

He got up and came towards me, stood in front of me and said in a warm voice, “Thank you.”

Not far away stood the butler and housekeepers, clapping gently. I turned around and bowed to them again.

Everyone here was very good, kind and considerate to me. Zhou Chen smoothed out things and took care of me silently, which had always made me forget that I was only a guest. 

These days, the cook-jiejie and I learned how to bake a box of chiffon cakes that wouldn’t crack, and the uncle who looked after the garden learned how to cut the shrubs into beautiful shapes.

Zhou Chen never stopped me from doing anything, unless I had forgotten to take my medicine. 

I sometimes forget it on purpose. Take a handful of pills and you’ll have no more appetite for anything else. 

We sat on the bench in the courtyard to bask under the sun. Zhou Chen said he’d be away for a while, and that I would have to take care of myself in the next few days.

I asked nervously, where are you going, did Qi Shu do anything to you?

He smiled helplessly and said, “My susceptibility period is coming.” 

Susceptibility period…

It was taught to us in physiology class that, like an omega’s estrus, the alphas in their susceptibility period would be extremely sensitive to pheromones and become difficult to control. The higher the alpha’s level, the more frightening their susceptibility period would be.

After being with Qi Shu for four years, he would go and spend every time of it with another omega, so I didn’t really know much about it, nor had I ever seen with my own eyes what an alpha in the susceptible period was really like.

“Do you want to find an omega to accompany you…” 

I had the nerve to ask the question. At the thought that Zhou Chen, who seemed exceedingly abstinent, would also have a difficult side to control, I felt my whole face burning.

But on second thought, it wouldn’t be surprising that a high-quality alpha of his age would have one or two or more bed partners.

“No.” He shook his head. “I hit the inhibitor and it already passed.”

“If that’s the case, it shouldn’t matter if it’s here? I’m a beta, I won’t affect you. ” I blurted out. 

He gave me a profound look, took off his glasses and sighed, “I don’t want to take risks.”

“Oh…”

I remembered that there were other omegas and alphas in the house. They might obstruct Zhou Chen.

He left at nightfall. The sun slowly sank, and my heart too sank with it.

In the evening, I baked cookies together with the chef-jiejie. She said that Mr. Zhou liked chocolate cookies with less sugar and slightly bitter taste.

I took pictures of the baked cookies and sent them to Zhou Chen. He replied: [The one on the left is more lovely.]

I made the one on the left, they were crooked and weren’t in uniformed sizes. The chef-jiejie made the one on the right. It was neatly arranged, well-distributed and beautiful. 

Me: [Lovely is just a comfort for the ugly duckling]

Zhou Shen: [No, lovely is the biasness for the White Swan]